Searching for Cezanne: Heroes and villains Part 3.

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog. Being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

If you have not read them already, to understand the full context of this post, it may be good to read parts 1 and 2 here:       

Part 1  http://wp.me/p4FeF9-8g

Part 2  http://wp.me/p4FeF9-aa

Life journeys can be funny things, what fate brings can alter the future forever. The same could be said of football, a little twist of fate will change the future outcome. Take Arsenal last season, fate intervened with injuries in the team which could be said, stopped us winning the league and Cup double. But we’ll never know for sure, because once a path is taken due to the intervention of fate, the alternative will be lost forever. It is one of the wonders of life, organic and continually changing….. you can never really know what lies ahead.

And this is where I found myself at the beginning of the 1980’s. On the threshold of change, not just through fate, but because of decisions I had to make. However, the past still had a hold on me and there was one more short journey I had to take before finally pulling free of a culture that had controlled me from the age of 14, when I had stolen my first car. Change was not going to be an easy thing I discovered. I had to see a Parole Officer for six months after I stopped giving pleasure to Her Majesty. A Probation Officer who had a very narrow view of change, she sincerely thought all I had to do was to make a decision to stay away from criminal activity, and that would be that, I’d be a reformed character. It was akin to asking me to stop drinking or god forbid, change the football team I supported. In other words, it wasn’t so fucking easy and could be downright impossible!

However, whilst pleasuring Her Majesty I’d met someone who had taken an interest in my artistic skills, Reginald, who was due to see the light of day just a few months after me. So we arranged to meet for a drink when he got back to London. He called himself a ‘Art Dealer’ but for all intents and purposes, he was a fraudster, someone who conned greedy art dealers and gallery owners. It was easy he said and the beauty was, if they did finally find out they had been duped, they would never admit it and tell the police, because their reputation was on the line. Easy I thought.  In the meantime, I’d found a job, driving for a timber merchant, yes, a real job, through some very good friends of mine. I had also started doing some voluntary work with the elderly, my first move towards social work.

In my first week of smelling fresh air I’d had three priorities, the first is obvious, Mr Chorizo needed some action, the second was a decent Ruby Murray and the third was going to Highbury for a match. The Gunners had not been having a good time, since the Cup final defeat against West Ham, they’d continued a mediocre period, Terry Neill was still manager and the players of any note were Graham Rix and Frank Stapleton. The first match I went to see was a home game against Leicester City. It was a drab affair and we just about won 1-0. But for me it was great to be able to sit in the East Stand again and watch a game. However, this was the start of a period where I didn’t truly follow the Gunners, I had my life to sort out. I needed to be an upstanding member of society.

However, it wasn’t easy, all the people who I knew were involved one way or another in the criminal culture. A mate of mine Micky K, had gone into the pub game and he had a pub just off Caledonian Road, the typical mix of rogues and villains. Then I finally met up with Reginald, he was in his 50’s and looking very dapper, all suited up, shirt and tie and looking like a country gent, he even had the accent. We met in a pub in Soho and he outlined his scheme, very simple and what appeared to be ‘victimless’ and foolproof.  He just needed someone who could paint, which is where I fitted in because his last ‘artist’ had gone back to Holland.

The next day he took me to his ‘studio’ in Lambeth, it was a cross between an artist’s studio and a chemistry lab, full of all the paraphernalia needed for an artist, canvasses from the late 19th and early 20th century, paint mixing bowls and jars, piles of paper taken from 19th century books and meticulously dated, pigment powders, old jars of glue, gum arabic and paint binders. Everything needed to produce  an ‘authentic’ 19th or early 20th century painting. And this was the idea, to paint in the style of a fairly well known artist, with original paper or canvas and with the accurate mixture of original pigment to be able to fool a collector or art dealer. We agreed I would do something in watercolour because that had been the medium I’d started with and was used to, then we decided on what style, what artist and what epoque. Eventually we got it down to a couple of English watercolourists and Cezanne. Paul Cezanne had often worked in watercolour for his initial ideas and sketches, so he was the obvious choice, easy to do in the style of and leaving out  the signature. All I had to do was to paint it,  then Reginald would do the rest, finding a ‘mark’ as he called it, doing the deal and collecting the proceeds, of which I would get exactly half. Lovely jubbly I thought, so the following week, I set to work in the studio.

I continued with other things, working for the timber yard, doing some voluntary work at weekends, doing my degree in sociology and going to an occasional Arsenal home game. The Gunners weren’t doing brilliantly but it was looking like we could get close to the top, eventually going on to finish third with Aston Villa as Champions and Ipswich in second place. In the meantime I continued working at the studio, it had taken me a while to get six or seven decent paintings done but Reginald was happy with three of them, two Cezanne style still lives and a small study for Cezannes painting of the bathers. I then left it to him to do the business but it was only a couple of weeks before he contacted me to meet up in Soho.

We met in the same pub, he had a massive grin on his face and handed me an envelope full of cash, £5000 in total. He’d sold two of the paintings to American dealers at an art fair. The third was currently with a New York gallery owner and he would know soon if it was sold. The yank was a greedy bugger  he told me, and was being difficult over the price. An oil painting on canvas by Cezanne at the time could fetch $1m or more, but we were doing very small watercolour sketches, which at auction could go for about $50,000, so any dealer buying our paintings would be looking at a vast profit, and this is what Reginald relied upon, greed. His philosophy was ‘buyer beware’ but knew from experience that dealers would take stupid risks on the basis of earning a great deal of money.

A typical Cezanne watercolour still life.

In early 1981 I had my first solo exhibition at the Islington Public Library Gallery in Holloway Road. It was a sell out and many of my works of local buildings and streets were bought by Islington Council. It was a success and gave me the hope and motivation to continue. However, during my voluntary work with the elderly, I’d met a social worker who I’d told about my background and she told me of a part-time job going at a drug centre in the West End, saying that I could have a good chance of getting it. I went for the job and was successful. I loved it, it was a day centre for drug users and prostitutes in Rathbone Place, just off Oxford Street. We also did outreach work at night which consisted of six male workers, working in pairs going to different areas, distributing clean needles, swabs and condoms and educating users and prostitutes on safe syringe use and safe sexual practices for  health reasons and the prevention of HIV. The system for the night shift was simple, we’d go to the centre at 10pm, collect a rucksack each and fill it with syringes, antiseptic swabs, condoms and a dildo.

My area was Kings Cross where we would  meet working girls in an all night cafe on Euston Road, hand out the various items and then sit down with them, buy coffees or teas and then, with the dildo, show them how to give a blowjob without the punter knowing they were using a condom. The joke amongst the staff was that at the centre there were six different sized dildos, from small to frigging massive, whoever got there last got the monster and then had to give it a blowjob in front of 4 or 5 giggling prostitutes. I eventually got wise to this because I was often the last one to arrive at the centre, so one day I visited a sex shop and bought one that was more manageable and easier on the jaw muscles.

Reginald finally heard from the American dealer and contacted me, he had to go to New York to finalize the deal, which would be in the region of $15,000, and asked if I would like to go.  So we booked a trip and he arranged for us to stay with a friend of his in the West Village. Unfortunately, when we arrived at the gallery to finalize the deal, the police were waiting, whilst the dealer had the painting in New York he’d asked an expert on Cezanne to examine it. We were charged with forgery, we got bail but our passports were confiscated. However, the law on such things was very vague and the painting was unsigned. We had a lawyer and he managed to get the charges dropped on the basis that Reginald had bought the painting in good faith and was selling it in good faith. It never got mentioned that I had actually painted it. However, during their investigations the police discovered that we both had serious criminal convictions when entering the USA. We were deported and put on a list of undesirables, unable to enter the country again. We were allowed to keep the painting and Reginald later sold it to an English dealer for £4000.

This was my first, and last, sojourn into the world of art forgery and the final event that made up my mind to get out of criminal behaviour permanently. I continued working at the drug project and also found part-time work in the Probation Service working with difficult young offenders. My route was now clear, I gradually moved away from mates who were still involved in dodgy activities and got more involved in a social life with Probation Officers and Social Workers. It was difficult at times because I often felt inadequate amongst all these university educated people, I felt awkward socially and very rarely contributed to conversations, often feeling inhibited. Consequently, I kept a small amount of contact with a few old mates. It was a schizophrenic lifestyle for a while.

This was the most difficult time in my rehabilitation and made me understand the difficulties that offenders have when trying to go straight, it takes a major change in social acquaintances to really be successful, which for many is near impossible. A real benefit from my change of lifestyle and social circle however, were female social workers, bloody hell, were they up for it, especially with a bit of rough like me! I couldn’t keep up with it, it felt at times that I was gradually shagging my way through the entire London Probation Service.

I went on to finish my degree in Sociology, I got a full-time job in the Probation Service as an assistant, I continued painting with quite a bit of success and I finally got accepted onto a Social Work qualifying course in 1986, the same  year George Graham  was appointed as  the Arsenal manager and there were nine years of success to come. My visits to Highbury increased dramatically. And during my social work course, I soon discovered the pleasures of young, horny, female social work students, I was like Winnie the Pooh with a new pot of honey! So you could say I was now a very ‘upstanding member’ of society.

2014-05-24 16:21:09

Right, time for a glass of wine and some spicy chorizo…. I hope you enjoyed your visit. Until the next time.

à bientôt

GunnersoreArse, the Sunday supplement that brings you the Arsenal, history, art, dildos and women of the night. What more could you want. Every Sunday morning at 9am. Just one click on your PC!

 

 

 

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320 thoughts on “Searching for Cezanne: Heroes and villains Part 3.

  1. “a hangout for drunken pensioners”? Oh, what a pub! Dont worry, Kelsey will be drunk on his coffee, orange juice and water. A royal combination. 🙂 🙂 🙂

  2. It was at St Thomas and Prah roads.

    A wonderfully historic building but it was falling apart from neglect and became quite dangerous just before it was demolished.

  3. Then it was before my time GN5

    I remember the Rainbow, up the top of Isledon Road. I saw the Small Faces there. And I remember it as a cinema as well.

  4. arnie, Kelsey said on AA that he was high (well he said giddy) on vitamin C, so it doesn’t take much to get him going…………….

  5. Allegedly, announcement after the US tour. With all these new toys, we are a bunch of spoilt kids. 🙂 🙂

    Kelsey is high on crystals as well. 😛

  6. on that note, NorthBank, another pint of bitter please. And some of your delicious pork scratching as well, please, Sir. 🙂 🙂

    And, BTW, I am off to the US MidWest this Thursday for a month. Will you please remind me to clear teh tab before I get too drunk tomorrow? 😛

  7. it’s interseting that both Joel Campbell and Johan Djourou are both shown as members of our 1st team but neither player has been assigned a shirt number. They were both very handy in the WC and would be good additions to the squad, but I think they will both be either sold or loaned out again.

  8. GN5. what has the world come to? did you hear that? bloody insolent. 😦

    I politely request NB to remind me tomorrow about clearing up my tab. What do I get in return? not a thank you, but a rude reminder that the tab has to be cleared before I proceed on my trips. Such nerve! 😦

  9. GN5. I have a sneaky feeling Campbell might be around, and Djourou is being held on buffer just in case a replacement for Verms does not work out.

  10. Way too much agreement on here!

    arnie he’s just being nice until you pay your tab, then he will revert to kind – not nice kind but his kind………………..

  11. TC.
    I got a very nice official compliment on my driving today.
    When I got back from running my errands there was a note of my windscreen saying –
    Parking Fine. How thoughtful.

  12. Don’t all cheer at once but I’m off out to try to lose the wife, it doesn’t matter where I leave her she always seems to make her way back!

  13. OK, NorthBank, enough is enough, and just because I am an honourable man 😛 how much on teh tab, please? 🙂

  14. my dear NorthBank, come on, I have to pay for my drinks, dont I? Please. And you have to do your business as well. Charity does not pay, you know. 🙂

    GN5. very smooth character, beware. 😛

  15. ha ha Michael… you sneaky litttle russian 🙂 smoking what I may ask, I don’t want the Poleese around my gaff. 😉

    arnie… it’s alright mate, on the house, what’s virtual money anyway when we can have a bit of a laugh 🙂

  16. cheers, NorthBank, have to go to a party. laters. 🙂 🙂 good day at the pub today, nice enjoyable comedy show. 🙂 🙂

    welcome Michael. Yet again, we miss each other at the pub. have fun. Laters. 🙂 🙂

  17. Kels

    I will be looking for guest writers soon. Not just yet, I’m like a virgin keeping you at bay till you are salivating. With regards you lot and keeping you all under control, no problem 🙂

  18. Whatever you do don’t ask RA as no one will understand a word he says 🙂

    Guest writers on various subjects or just football. I have one forte,I am my own psychiatrist after 33 years of listening to bullshit from doctors,specialists,therapists and psychiatrists.They can all cure your mental phobias, usually at a high cost.

  19. Kels
    Once a week is ok for me at the moment…. writing the blog that is 🙂 There’s always an interesting subject to write about. As I said in my very first post, I would like to make the blog not just about football or the Arsenal, but a variety of subjects. I don’t think RA is interested to be honest! 🙂

    GN5…. not at all at all, I’m a tease! 😀

  20. NB,

    On a serious note, you are doing a fine job your articles are very interesting – and very candid, (maybe too candid for your own good) and you keep the blog rolling along – (I mean puttering).

    I think that Kelsey’s point was that the more popular the blog gets the more administration work it involves, keeping us blogaholic’s satisfied is tedious. A tell tale sign is that the bar is already suffering through lack of manpower.

  21. GN5

    I’ve got to the stage now where being candid about my past doesn’t really bother me, but thanks for the concern 🙂

    Keeping you fucking lot satisfied is definately more work, but not in any way tedious…. I’m actually enjoying the banter. I even got out today for a drink and met up with my thespian friend for a little while. 🙂 so yes, my bar suffered somewhat, but I expect all you adults to be able to keep a conversation going for more than five minutes if I’m not here 😀 😀

  22. Being nosey I would love to know what happened on ACLF for a breakaway rather large group left and yet another blog was formed.

  23. Kels

    I was there for the early part but I was fairly niaive when it came to Arsenal blogs nd didn’t realise how serious it could get. I did get a bit involved and fell out with a couple of bloggers. I decided it wasn’t worth the hassle and stopped, only coming back to have a butchers earlier this year. Now, hopefully, it has calmed down somewhat and it is safe to come out of the cupboard 🙂
    I even contribute now to a blog where there are a couple of people who I fell out with. Everyone to there own really, but why get so serious and vindictive, I’ve got no idea. Face to face I can understand it, but on a blog. Stupid. 🙂
    But wasn’t you part of ACLF for a while?

  24. Let me put you right `69er from your question on BK…..Transplant is indeed “Stretch” and I`m “Cornwall” ( My other blog name is Glic….Gooner lost in cornwall ! ). I named him Stretch as he was the first AA/BK blogger to buy one of my gadgets !. Have a butchers, if you haven’t seen it and bought one, then I can swap one for a painting !. hahaha

  25. Kelsey

    There were a few getting abusive…constantly, Yogi banned them, rightly so. George started a blog for the ultras. I think it has calmed down a bit there though. The posts are often good, but I don’t read the comments that often.

    NB

    Can you smoke in a pub in France? I can’t remember!!

  26. On the humour side , I loved all the old ones TC, Eric and Ernie etc`and of the latest, I love Frankie Boyle, Jimmy Carr, Paul Chowdhry, Paul Kaye (Gooner) and Stewart Francis ( Canadian ).

    Don’t know if you have seen this, but it`s funny ! .

  27. A Tommy Cooper nightcap.

    I’ve always been unlucky, my Dad bought me a rocking horse… and it died…………..

    I was cleaning the attic out with my wife.
    Filthy, dirty, smelly and covered in cob webs…
    But she’s good with kid’s….

  28. NorthBank. IMO GN5 is right. You must have put in substantial thought behind saying what you do. The world is not a nice place, as you know well enough.

    There is a different problem, and one that I have faced. I have been stalked using personal information that I shared on AA. The AA admin know about this, and there seems to be nothing that one can do. 🙂 🙂 🙂

  29. NB/Michael
    As I said previously I used to put a very occasional comment on ACLF mainly as I usually agreed with what Yogi had written,but I was either abused or tottaly ignored and as with most established blogs there is a hard core who frequent on a daily basis,and are not keen to welcome what they see as outsiders..
    Yogi has definitely softened in his general approach to all things Arsenal and if he feels fit he will either critisize or give his impression that certain aspects of our play,coaching etc could be improved.

    Many of those who left never ever saw anything wrong and would either take a positive or say things would be different if so and so was playing,despite us being embarrasing stuffed.”rose tined glasses is an understatement”

    I like to call myself a realist some say I am a doomer but I say it as I feel.

    this coming season if we can reduce the number of injuries and get back to quick pass and move and everyone gives 100% that would be fine.

    Despite improving our points tally last season there were far too many games where an extra dose of valium was required.So often we just couldn’t put teams away after an early goal, or we stumbled out of the blocks and got stuffed well before half time.I don’t particularly want to see that again or at least not that often.
    Yogi has repeated on several occasions that the acid test is to improve our points total against the other top sides,and he is right.

  30. arnie

    I had the same thing and was told I was paranoid.Drop me a line please,peaches,rasp,GN5,Micky,Evonne Raddy can all verify who I am.
    I will blow your mind

  31. Just to complete the merry go round of blogs,Bergkampesque was formed by Total Arsenal who wanted his own blog having initially been a stalwart of AA as a contributer,New Post writer,and friend of the owners.

  32. Kelsey, arnie. I know what you mean my friends

    A couple of years ago I joined this dating site promising kinky sex. It was a straight site, but i only ever got two replies, and they were both from men.

    The first bloke was asking me questions about what type of Jeans I wore, and the second was asking whether I liked seventies hit shows The Professionals and The Sweeney, and if we could meet up to discuss them?

    I rang up admin to complain, demanding to know were my kinky sex went, but the bastards never got back to me.

    Anyway, ive never been able to shake of seventies man. Constantly getting images of Brodie in his Y Fronts, and John Thaw with his top off

    I tried putting him off by sending back images of Steve Archibald and Garth Crooks taking a shower, but it never worked.

  33. Michael

    Re smoking.

    I cant speak for France but the Spanish are heavy smokers and remember cigarettes are a third or more less expensive than in the UK.the local brands are made or smell of horse shit.
    In public bars,restaurants one can smoke outside but the local goverment are very clever and tax the owners for parasoles as it is so hot.

  34. Good morning bloggers

    I’ve already poured myself a glass of wine and sliced the chorizo :-D, doors are open!

    With regard to smoking, in France the landlords generally don’t give a toss, well in the bars that I frequent.

    GN5 @10;10pm….. she is a virtual Mrs NB69….. after three failed wifeys I think that was enough.

  35. Every time the Transplant brokeback geezer posts a comment, I expect the men in white coats to come barging into the pub and put him into a straight-jacket 😀

  36. You must read this link.
    Here’s one of the questions and answers.

    Q: I have a small penis and I can’t seem to satisfy my girlfriend. My astrologer has advised me to pull it every day for 15 minutes while reciting a shloka [prayer]. I have been doing this for a month but it hasn’t helped. What should I do?

    A: If he was right, most men would have a penis hitting their knees. God doesn’t help gullible, foolish men. Go visit a sexpert instead who can teach you the art of making love.

  37. Morning All
    I have a friend who was delighted when the smoking ban came in here, no more smoke smelling clothes after a night out. That changed within a year, complaining that the best craic was outside with the smokers.

    I wonder who todays new signing is, there appears endless names being bandied about.
    This is the first pre season for ages, where I feel we will get roughly what we need…so pretty relaxed about it. 🙂

  38. Confidence –

    NB: No etchings involved!

    A fighter pilot walks into a virtual French bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
    He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
    The woman notices this and asks,
    “Is your date running late?”
    No,” he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art watch, and I was just testing it.”
    The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch?
    What’s so special about it?”
    The pilot says, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”
    The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”
    Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties.”
    The woman giggles and replies,
    “Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!”
    The fighter pilot smirks, taps his watch and says,
    “Damn thing’s an hour fast.”

    And that my virtual friends….is confidence.

  39. Kelsey,

    Diaby has endured a tormented career to date and deserves an injury free season, Having my own footballing aspirations destroyed due to injuries I know just how it feels. Once you have had a bad injury you always see to favour the injured area and are no longer able mentally perform at the same level, even if the physical injury has healed 100%.

    I wish him nothing but the best and hope that he is an Arsenal hero this season.

  40. So do I GN5 but history is against him.
    Sad to see Eisfeld go to Fulham, another project youth that hasn’t lived up to expectations.
    I believe the new keeper hasn’t actually been announced on the official website.

  41. Lovely afternoon, is it not? NorthBank, my friend, can I have a pint of bitter please. 🙂

    So Eisfeld shipped out, not worried, he is one for the future IMO. Apparently, we have signed a German youth player with a Greek-sounding name that reminds me of Terry 🙂 and another Serbian young guy. Bonkers in action, or is it Jonker? 😛 No complaints.

    Life as a Gooner is merry tra la la these days. 😛

  42. Kelsey. Thank you. Busy day with things to settle before travel tomorrow. Back to you later, perhaps early evening. 🙂

  43. arnie, I popped in earlier – but after knocking repeatedly and getting no answer I came over to the Nags Head, I don’t understand how that NB guy expects to run a successful pub if it only opens at his pleasure.

    It looks like he prefers his Parisian pleasures a lot more than serving his loyal customers.

    Enjoy your visit to the US mid-west, I visited most states but none in the mid-west. Of all the US cities Boston is my personal favourite, I love sea food and being surrounded by the east coast fisheries the feasts are incredible, lobster in particular – I salivate at the very thought.

  44. Ah, yes, The Nags Head is good. 🙂

    GN5. This trip is relatively short. It is one month and I say relatively short because we usually spend about 3 months every year in Michigan. The MidWest is nice. Please do come over some time. Perhaps the spring of 2015. The plan is to be in East Lansing MI Jan-May 2015.

    Spending a few days in Boston as well this time. First visit for me. Will remember your advice. BTW, fresh white fish from the lakes, grilled, is yummy as well.

    Among US cities, Washington DC and New York I like a lot, plus San Francisco, all for different reasons. And of course Chicago in the Mid West. 🙂

  45. arnie,

    East Lansing is about 300k, 3hrs drive from London pretty much one road all the way (250k) so it’s quite possible we could meet up.

    One of my favourite white fresh water fish is Pickerel also known as Walleye. Fresh caught and pan fried with sauteed veggies a baguette and a few glasses of white wine makes an extraordinary meal.
    Fresh lake trout, brown or rainbow lake trout or stream caught speckled trout treated the same way are mouth watering!

  46. I’m forgetting Chicago, I’ve been there many times.

    We lived in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho for a few years, and once you have lived by a mountain lake you always yearn for the peaceful serenity. Even the smell of the pine trees gave the air such a fresh clean feeling aahh…………………and fresh land locked Kakonee Salmon right at our doorstep another big…………… aahhh.

    Those were the days my that you wish would never end my friend – but it was only a contract consulting job that took us there.

  47. GN5. Memories, memories. 🙂 Let us plan to meet up in spring. And yes, I love Walleye as well.

    The beauty of the great lakes is the serenity. And even in the depth of summer, you are never too far away from the cool waters. 🙂 🙂 🙂

  48. Good evening chaps

    Hope my barmaids have looked after you 🙂 Glad to see you all talking about travel and food. I’m looking forward to watching some football tonight. L’Equipe TV have got the friendly between Chelsea and Wolfsburg at 7.30pm….. a chance to see a rival play before the season starts. And they will also be showing our game against NY Red Bulls live on Saturday which is a real bonus. 😀

  49. I’m here just in time for you to have left already….then siesta… talk this evening then.

  50. I knocked on the door several times today and all I could hear was a woman moaning and groaning – and it didn’t sound like the cleaning lady……………..

  51. So it’s a bit slow on here today, but the reason is a superb post on Arsenal Arsenal by Arnie. GN5 and Kelsey are too busy over there at the moment to be bothered with posting their jokes on GunnersoreArse. I don’t know how to post a link to AA but do go over and read Arnies article, it’s superb. 🙂

  52. Man goes to see his doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his beard.
    Doctor say’s, “No problem, I’ll give you some cream to put on it”

  53. Police arrrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid and the other one was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off…………….

  54. Same bar.

    A jump cable asks for a drink.
    The barman say’s I’ll serve you on the condition that you don’t start anything……………….

  55. GN5. 🙂

    NorthBank, how have you been doing, mate? Long time no see! 😛 Surprisingly pretty cool waether here in Michigan today. Bloody jet lag as well.

    A stiff 18 Years Old Bunnahabhain, please Sir. 🙂 🙂

  56. NorthBank. Forgot to say. Thank you Sir, for your appreciation. Happy to be of some service. 😛

  57. Yes, good flight NB, all well except the inflight attendants going around with faces like they have had a nightmare. or had quinine for breakfast! 🙂

  58. GN5. Your poor jokes are never a waste. NB hangs them outside the pub, so even if the pub the closed, patrons can enjoy. 😛

  59. Bonjour les Sore Arses

    I see GN5 has been active during the night….. weak bladder probably at his age 🙂

    So Chambers is a done deal…. does this mean Jenks will go out on loan?

  60. Most probably and if we buy Ballotelli expect Campbell to be part of the deal,to get optimum price.

    Still need a replacement to cover for Arteta/Flamini.Our defence needs bolstering or will Jack really get stuck in and fight for his place but as we play an attacking game his inclination will be to bomb forward.We need a Gilberto type player IMO

  61. afternoon, NB. Is the pub open yet? 😛

    Leaky bladder or not, bloody nice comedy. Expect the terminal one, which given the MH17 case is in somewhat poor taste. 😛

  62. We expect better from our resident professor!
    But seeing as it’s Professor arnie we will make an exception!

  63. The French place is closed arnie, I’m over at the Nags Head – yet again!

    By the way you know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of the same material??
    again!

  64. heh Kelsey and the other degenerates 🙂

    I’ve had my siesta but now I’m pissed. My bar has been a bit quiet here, difficult to be at home when the customers come calling. I don’t like the sound of this Nags Head 🙂

  65. NB you shouldn’t like the sound of The Nags Head as it is a very well run (down) pub and adheres to strict and consistent opening and closing hours. In other words it puts it’s customers first and not the carnal needs of it’s barman?

  66. ha ha GN5

    But where else can you get away with your TC jokes. They are much appreciated here at the SoreArse Arms. 🙂

    I’m looking forward to the match tonight. Wonder if Henry will play 45 minutes for the Gunners?

  67. sorry, GN5 and all. Knot Ear today. Long drive to upstate Michigan and a long walk in the trails at Pictured Rocks in Michigan. Tiring day but good fun. 🙂 Tomorrow a bit of a snooze on a beach in Marquette MI, then lunch at Mackinaw City (probably either white fish or walleye) and then back to Lansing. 🙂

  68. Nearly missed this one as well,
    Very good masterpiece NB,
    I have to say it was a captivating story, and one that you don’t want to put down. Keep up the good work mate.

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