Brighton Rock and FA Cup magic

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog. Being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

I had an article practically prepared about gay men and homophobia in football for today, but then I got home last night and saw the results. The magic of the FA Cup lives on, the minnows can still cause upsets and that is what can make the Cup so special. Mourinho in his press conference this week said the quadruple for his team was impossible! Well it is now Jose. Now he is saying his team are a disgrace and he is “ashamed.” Manchester City losing at home to Middlesboro, Spuds losing at home to Leicester, Southampton losing at home to Palace, Swansea losing away to Blackburn and Liverpool and Man Utd only managing goalless draws and needing a second chance. For Gunners all this is great news. Some of the EPL teams going out can only increase our chance of progressing to the Final for a second season.

So today we have a day trip to Brighton. All Wenger has to say in his team talk is, “Just look at yesterdays results”. That should do the trick, but then again, if you believe what the papers are saying, the team will be giving the team talk and Wenger will be listening. Yesterdays cupsets will be a warning sign, in big red letters it says, “don’t take these lower league teams lightly.” And I’m sure that message will be heard. Get a result today and the next round has some good possibilities to progress all the way. Here is how Monday nights draw looks at the moment:

1. Crystal Palace

2. Cambridge United or Manchester United

3. Blackburn Rovers
4. Bradford City
5. Derby County
6. Preston North End or Sheffield United
7. West Bromwich Albion
8. Aston Villa or AFC Bournemouth
9. Reading
10. Liverpool or Bolton Wanderers
11. Leicester City
12. Brighton & Hove Albion or Arsenal
13. Rochdale or Stoke City
14. Sunderland or Fulham
15. Bristol City or West Ham United
16. Middlesbrough

There will be a bit of rotation for today’s game I’m sure, but I’m hoping not too much. Sanchez may get a rest on the bench but apart from that, I don’t envisage too much change from the team which won at the Etihad last weekend. The momentum from the City game needs to be capitalised upon. Why change a winning formula. Brighton (and Hove actually) will not be a push over.

And below is the image of the day, Brendon Rodgers greeting Bolton manager Neil Lennon before the game yesterday. “I love you very much Neil, but don’t think you can fuck me today.”


Neil Lennon and Brendan Rodgers

And so onto a bit of Arsenal Transfer porn. Villareal have confirmed that Paulista is coming to the Emirates, with Campbell going the other way on loan. Wenger has said the only thing stopping the move would be the work permit for the Brazilian. I hope we get him, from the small amount of U tube footage I’ve seen, he looks ideal as back up for either Kos or the BFG. Apparently he can also play RB and LB, so a versatile player indeed.

He’s not a pretty boy, in fact he makes Martin Keown look like an Adonis playboy. But whoever said looks make a good player. We already have our playboy in Olivier Giroud, one is enough don’t you think. Which leads me to a matchday question.

Surveys have suggested that 1 in 10 men are gay, so take a look at our starting eleven and the logic suggests that 1.1% of the team is a shirtlifter. From your observations, who would you suggest is our 10 percenter? My money would go on Theo, I know he is married, and his missus is a cracker, but for me there is something about him which just screams, bum invader.

Melanie Slade, Theo’s missus

So, despite going off today for a week in the Cevennes with a friend, I’ve managed to get my Sunday supplement done. Still not sure if I’ll have internet at the house, so I could be MIA for a few days. I may also miss the game today because we will be travelling between 5pm – 7pm. Don’t let that stop you leaving comments or Rack of the Days. Have fun my merry sore arses, and enjoy the game where ever you are. COYG’s.

Right, time for a glass of wine and some spicy chorizo, I won’t be driving today so can carry on as normal. Until the next time.

à bientôt

GunnersoreArse, the Sunday blog to read after all the other Arsenal blogs. 



The Hating Game…….

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog. Being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

Today we have a guest post from Eddie. 

Who are the most hated teams in the English Premier League?

I would like to invite all football fans to vote for the most hated team in the English Premier League. Although the invitation is open to all I would like to point out that this is an Arsenal blog and we would like the visitors from N17 to behave with respect and those from SW6 to refrain from violence.

I read several articles on this subject and checked some polls and votes. Needless to say that the press is full of editorial errors placing Arsenal even above Tottenham in the Hate Tables, but we know we are and always will be the most loved club in the world. Those who don’t love us are of the jealous disposition.

The ‘hate’ results are predictably inconclusive and inconsistent.  Surprisingly though the top spots are not always occupied by one of the Top Four teams, ie Manchesters, Chelsea or Liverpool.  There are those who still hate Leeds and Portsmouth the most, strange if you ask me. So why do we hate some clubs more than others? Is it all about success, or a manager or proximity of the stadium? Manchester City are currently probably the best club in this country, yet nobody but the red Mancs hate them, why?

Maurinho has been mouthing again claiming that Chelsea are the new United and everybody loves to hate them. He is obnoxious enough to pass some of the hatred towards him, Jose Maurinho onto the whole club. Some pundits say that Jose is the next Ferguson, a genius amongst ordinary managers. I fail to understand what they are saying, but English is not my first language, so I suspect something is missing in translation.  It is true that I used to hate ManU and Fergie, especially when they were at their best, but that was sheer tribal rivalry. Today I hate Chelsea more than any other club, mainly because of Maurinho,  but John Terry, Abramovitch’s impact on the English League, Cole’s saga and Cech’s headgear do nothing to endear them to me.

I do not expect a reasonable and equitable response, but please try to justify your choice.

Thank you Eddie, something to get the ol’ vitriol flowing. Tin hats are available upon entry to the blog, not obligatory but highly recommended.

GunnersoreArse, publishing articles which other blogs refuse. The Charlie Hebdo of the Arsenal bloggosphere. JE SUIS GUNNERSOREARSE! Right, let’s get out of here sharpish and have a glass of wine. Where’s me tin hat 🙂


Heroes and Villains continued… the Ticket Tout.

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog. Being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

Ticket touts, love them or hate them, they’ve been a part of football for a very long time. Some would see them as taking tickets away from genuine fans, whereas I see a tout as filling a gap in a market, entrepreneurs  who supply a demand.

I started touting tickets at Arsenal home games in 1971 when I was 17 years old. Me and my mate Eddie knew a tout called ‘good looking’ John from Hoxton, ironic really because he was an ugly bastard. He arranged introductions to Fat Stan Flashman and that’s how we got started. It was a good earner and along with a couple of other scams we were involved in, meant that we always had money in our pockets. In the early stages we only concentrated on Arsenal games but it wasn’t long before we started working at other London grounds. It could get a bit dodgy at times, where some fairly tough heavies would approach us and warn us off from their patch, but it never progressed from threats to violence.

Unlike another scheme we got involved in, Fly Posting, now that could get heavy at times. There was good money to be earned from record companies for putting up posters around London so some largish gangs developed. Eddie and I worked alone so had no back up if things got violent. On a couple of occasions we were caught by other fly posters, posting over their work and consequently, we suffered a few right handers plus the bastards would take all our posters and our buckets and paste. We didn’t stay in that game for long, the risks were too high. So we branched out with tickets for music concerts, other sporting events and film premiers. Flashman could get tickets for anything so once a week we would visit his office in Kings Cross and negotiate bulk deals on tickets. He’d be sitting behind a massive desk with several telephones in front of him which never stopped ringing.

The police generally cast a blind eye to touting but on one occasion we were working in Leicester Square, selling tickets for a film premier. Unbeknown to us on that evening, some fake tickets had been sold and the cinema had called the police. When they arrived Eddie and me were the only touts working so they arrested us for supplying fake tickets. However, when they got us to the police station, on examination our tickets turned out to be kosher. The bastards still charged us though for touting and we were to appear at Bow Street Magistrates Court the following morning. But to show you how the police viewed touts, they gave us back all our tickets and gave us one hour to return to Leicester Square and sell them.

The following morning we turned up at Bow Street MC expecting a small fine, fifteen or twenty quid maximum. The magistrate though had clearly not slipped his missus one that morning and was in a foul mood. He looked at us and said, Mr K and Mr D, the police report says that  you had in  your possession over £1200 between you, you are clearly earning a great deal of money from this deplorable activity, I will therefore hit you where it will hurt most, you are fined £150 each, to be paid immediately. We were fuming and calling him all sorts of names under our breath.

Now days, ticket touting is done mainly through the internet and has become an even bigger business, generating something like £1bn in Britain in 2014 and tickets for big games can go for £4000 – £5000. As long as tickets have been acquired lawfully, I see it as an honest transaction. If there is a demand, there will always be ticket resellers earning a profit.

Interestingly, Eddie and me used to sell all our tickets at Highbury and then we’d pay a couple of quid to a geezer at the turnstile to let us into the Upper East Stand. We’d wait for the game to start and then take two empty seats. On only one occasion did the rightful seat owners turn up and we had to consequently move.  Despite how people may view what we were doing, for us it was a good laugh and a nice little earner. We didn’t see anything wrong in it and ultimately, people without tickets managed to get to see a game.

Right, time for a glass of wine and some spicy chorizo. Matchday and the Orcs are in town. We need to avenge the physical mauling we received in Mordor a couple of months ago. I want to see Sanchez rip these bastards apart. Enjoy the game where ever you are, until the next time.

à bientôt

GunnersoreArse, a free Sunday supplement for you to enjoy over breakfast. If it was 1971 I’d probably be working out ways to profit from it. But times and people can change for the good.


January sales and keeping our hands on the FA Cup.

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog. Being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

Transfer porn month.

Well, back to normal after the festivities, which for me means carry on as normal. I’ve never been one for waiting till a particular moment in a year to celebrate as if there is no tomorrow. Why wait until a birthday or New Years Eve to get bolloxed and out of your fucking head when you have 365 days in the year to do the same. Plain stupidity is how I see it, and is influenced by big business and corporations who think only of profit. A retail shop or supermarket can earn 50% of its annual turn-over during the short Christmas and New Year period. Fucking madness but the world joins in regardless.

Which leads us nicely into the transfer window, one month for managers to rush around like headless chickens, trying to find the new expensive toy which will keep the children (fans) happy. Arsène Wenger is in his normal January position, injuries and a suspension forcing him into the market place where he could be at risk of buying a dummy like Kaelstrom. From the statistics I’ve just looked at we have Welbeck, Flamini, Ramsey, Ozil, Wilshere, Arteta, Bellerin, Gnabry and of course the glass man, Diaby all on the treatment table, having their egos massaged along with their thighs, calves and other muscles or tendons. Add to that list Giroud who is suspended and Podolski, who is injured but also abroad talking with another club, then we can imagine our French manager is already in the queue outside either Harrods or the Poundshop, depending on your viewpoint.

What is on the shelf in the shop then, something tasty and long-lasting or a short-term sweetener to keep the taste buds initially happy but ultimately, leaving you wanting more.

In the press and on the blogs there are the usual suspects being chucked around like the proverbial confetti, Edinson Cavani, William Carvalho and………. Winston Reid…. the list goes on. Will we get a player on short-term loan, or go for the longer stability of the team? Where are the most urgent needs in the team? And do we really need any new players? Wenger has to weigh all these things up before he commits to splashing the cash, which from some sources apparently, we have plenty to splash.

Add into the mix the other big clubs who will be in the queue as well, with their chequebooks open and negotiators on hand ready to beat us to the deal, then the whole process is a nightmare which will last a month, not just for our manager but for us as well, the fans. Oh what joy, all the usual blog shit and guesswork will rear its ugly head in a four week orgy of transfer porn and speculation. Enjoy.

Can we keep our grubby hands on the FA Cup?

Today it starts all over again for the Gunners, FA Cup 3rd round tie against the team we beat in last seasons final. Wenger said this week:

“We want another cup run and we want to, if possible, keep the trophy. We have won it five times in my period in charge, so that means we know the importance that it has,”

He also went on to say:

“What is for sure is that we have room for improvement and we have to manage to do that quickly.”

As we  found out at Wembley in May, Hull City are no push over. They will come to the Emirates with a plan and with the intention of leaving with a result. I’m not as confident as some, the Tigers beat Everton last week quite convincingly, whereby at Southampton we showed our defensive frailties once again. However, goalkeepers will probably be changed for the game against Hull, with Ospina coming in for Chezzers and hopefully, Theo will be ready for a full 90 minutes. But as with the defensive weaknesses last week, our forwards and midfield need to improve from that performance as well. Our shortcomings, excuse the pun, in attack was clearly evident against Southampton and how did we play, high balls into the opponents penalty area, where we had two 5’6″ players up against defenders all over 6′, it was painful to watch. Our passing fell to pieces and for a team that prides itself on its passing game, that is unforgivable. So as Mr Wenger says, “What is for sure is that we have room for improvement and we have to do that quickly.”

Understatement of the year after last weeks match and if those improvements aren’t made this week then I can see our grip on the FA Cup being grappled from our hands rather quickly. Enjoy the match where ever you may be watching, lets hope for a win but prepare for a defeat.

Right, time to continue with my New Year celebrations, still 362 days left, so a glass of wine and some spicy chorizo. Hope you enjoyed your visit…… until the next time.

à bientôt

The GunnersoreArse Sunday supplement, a haven of calm and tranquility and pictures of tits and arse, for those who like it that way.