Game against Newcastle….. Live! Well, sort of…..

Here’s an experiment, I wrote the blog yesterday as I watched the game, my observations, my reactions.

12.45pm (13h45 here) Kick-off: Still seems strange seeing Cech in goal for us. Right, glass of wine in hand and we’re off. Newcastle started off with some pace, but then a great break from us… that’s the way we can do it today, but we’re losing silly balls in midfield, but what’s new.

We’re controlling the game quite well, definately looks as if we want to play on the counter-attack.

Fuck, fuck fuck…. Walcott, that could have been good.

Another great move, great pass from Sanchez…. we’re getting close. COYG’s.

Should have been a penalty there, goal scoring opportunity, replay shows definately a penalty and pundits agree.

15 minutes in and we have it right… some good passing, just need to get the ball in the net.

Fucking hell, Red Card….. their top forward, Mitrovic, horrible stamp on Coq au Vin, bastard deserved a red. Off to the kitchen: More wine…..

Cynical football now from Newcastle…. I haven’t seen Cech for about ten minutes.

For fuck sake…. the Newcastle fouling is appalling, trying to take Coq au Vin out of the game.

Fucking hell….. Walcott should have got that. We should be two or three up now, with the penalty claim. Possesion 75%… but we all know that stat means nothing, Goals are the only stat that matters.

My thinking is we need to bring Giroud on to play with Walcott up front…. I’m finding it a bit frustrating at the moment. Passing all over the place, not getting any shots on goal…. very frustrating.

HALF-TIME: I’m fucking amazed that we are not well in the lead. To give them credit, with 10 men Newcastle have done well with their defending and had a couple of decent counter-attacks as well. But that doesn’t deny the fact that we should be in the lead. If Walcott can’t show his potential as a CF in this game then he won’t ever show it. Disappointed I am, very disappointed…… More wine!

SECOND HALF gets going: And the first yellow card for the Arsenal gets the Toons applauding as if it’s a goal. FFS

YES…. YES…. YES…. the Ox finally gets it in, fucking about time. Come you Reds. (Wasn’t credited to Oxlade, own goal)

And the commentators on BT say that was a bit cruel on Newcastle…. FFS again.

Fucking typical…. another keeper having a blinder against us.

That was good again from Monreal, but Ox and Walcott can’t put it away.

76% possesion, 14 shots with 4 on target, 523 passes completed…… ONE OWN GOAL. It’s not good enough.

Predictable, 70 minutes, a substitution. Giroud on for Theo. Not a perfect substition, should have taken Cazorla off.

Not much to say for the last 8-10 minutes…. so off to the kitchen for more wine.

BORED……. and very upset, ok we’re winning but we should have improved our Goal difference today.

Three minutes of added time…. but it’s been hard work watching us today. Can’t grumble at three points away though..

FULL-TIME: ….. at last. Giroud right at the end should have got a second. WE NEED A NEW CF.

SUMMARY: A very poor game from our attackers. Newcastle down to 10 men probably made it harder because they massed ranks in defence, but still. What I saw didn’t fill me with much faith. For me Paul Easter or Ramsey are Arsenal MOTM. For the Toons, it has to be Krul.

Right time for another glass of wine. Until the next time Sore Arses.

Will Girouds right testicle Pool on Monday night?

Good morning my saggy little  gooner gonnads. Round three of the premiership is upon us and we’ve had a mixed bag for the Arsenal so far. However, after the disastrous start against the Hammers the boys came back with some semblance of decent football away to Palace. Olivier got a wonderful goal and we held out to get a win in a difficult game against a tenacious Palace team.

Sanchez is back and returning to form, Ozil showed some of what he can really do and the defence held out, though in a rather nervy fashion with Cech trying his hardest to do a ‘Sczesney’ with high balls from set pieces. Wenger seemed pleased with the performance against the Eagles and I’m sure he was also relieved that we came away with the three points.

Rumours continue regarding Wenger buying a new striker and this will probably be giving Giroud some incentive to put in a few good performances. The pressure is on him as our only true striker although with Walcott pressing for a place up front Ollies position is under threat from within. However, on Monday night we have the juicy possibility of Sanchez, Ozil and Walcott being played to terrorise a Liverpool defence who have yet to concede a goal. Giroud should be well serviced during the game if those three are chosen to start.

The big, good-looking French bloke needs to start scoring for fun and with such a creative midfield behind him should start to regularly get on the score sheet. If he doesn’t then we will be in trouble. Last season our ability to put the ball in the net was seriously lacking, they cannot afford to do that this season.

Our defence should pick itself and Cazorla and Ramsey should also play. Which brings me to my one concern about our squad, Coq au Vin. Brilliant as he has proved to be, it’s this position which is our weakness, basically because we have no cover. Le Coq was close to being red carded last week and if that or an injury were to befall our ‘petit coq’ then we have no player who could step in and do the job he is currently doing.

This is where Wenger needs to prioritize in the current transfer window. I don’t see him having a choice, it’s a glaring frailty in our defensive strength. There must be someone available out there at a decent price who could offer sufficient cover? There have been too many potential names to mention on here but  Wenger must be concerned and therefore searching the footballing world for cover and rotation for Coq au Vin. It would be criminal not to get someone and for me should be a priority, even if it is at the cost of not getting a striker.

Right, time for a glass of wine and some spicy chorizo. Enjoy the game where-ever you may be. Until the next time my sore arsed friends.

What’s going on in the Premier League?

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog… being blogged from Bourgueil in the Loire Valley. Where there is currently a wine festival and so I’ve been up all night and now going to bed.

Just seen all the results from yesterday… I think Leicester are gonna win the league. The Hammers beat us last week at the Emirates and then Leicester visit Upton Park and get a win…. what is going on?

I will be in the Bar d’Etoille this afternoon to watch the Palace match….a must win game me thinks and lets hope Monsewer Venger and the equipe get there tactics right and get the three points. If not by the end of tomorrow we’ll be bottom of the league. The good thing if that happens is that there is only one way to go…. UP!

That’s it from me, and it that’s it from them….. I’m off to bed. You tarts can do whatever you want… just leave some soft porn for the Big Raddish.

I got hammered and we got hammered… Cech is Maureens secret weapon!

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse Blog, being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

An Arsenal blog for degenerates and piss heads.

I go away for a weekend to get pissed and party and when I get back on Monday morning, what do I find… we got fucking hammered by the hammers. I didn’t see the match but by all reports we played dismally. Apparently Cech had a nightmare game as did the defence, Giroud couldn’t hit a barn door from 10 yards and the substitutions were poorly thought out. Is that how the game went? I can’t judge… didn’t see it, was too busy getting rat arsed and enjoying meself.

So here’s my theory, Maureen secretly agreed for Chelsea to sell Petrol Cheque to us, they agreed that they would pay him £50,000 a week to fuck up our season, have the occasional bad game and concede a few goals. Do this for the first 5 or 6 games and Arsenal won’t be a threat. Maureen wins, Petrol Cheque gets extra wages and the Gunners end up 12 points behind the Chavs.

A conspiracy theory gone berserk I know, but why not? If I was afraid of Wengers team and thought he could usurp my ascendancy then I’d do it. Call Petrol Cheque into the office and say, “Look Petra my girl, you ain’t gonna get first team football here at Stamford Bridge so here’s my plan. We sell you to Arsenal but on the understanding that you have some ‘poor games’ and concede a few goals. We keep you on a retainer and at the end of the season, if the Gunners are below us, you get a nice £2m bonus for your retirement.”

But in all seriousness my Gooner friends…. that was a bad start to the season. We were all so optimistic… perhaps too gung ho about the first game. What were we saying, an easy win, minimum 4-0. I’ve seen some of the blogs and the comments. The boys obviously thought the same… easy win here mates, we’ll hammer the hammers. Been there, done it and ultimately came away disappointed.

So here was I, up in the mountains, drinking myself silly and totally confident that we would get 3 points from West Ham. I hope they all get a kick up the Arsenal (Wenger too) and come out blazing against Crystal Palace next weekend. Last season we were something like 11 points behind Chelsea after just a few weeks, if that happens again this season then say goodbye to being Champions.

You know what I’m gonna do now…. poor myself a glass of wine, forget about yesterdays game and look forward to next weekend. COME ON YOU FUCKING GUNNERS.

This Community Shield will be more than just a Friendly….

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog, being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

The Arsenal blog for Gunners who have strayed from the path of righteousness.

I know people say that the Community Shield is just a friendly and nothing should be assumed from the result, but we are talking Chavs here, can you really expect me to accept it as a game that will not have consequences for the rest of the season? Maureen has dominated in the exchanges with Wenger and now is perhaps the time to reverse that trend.

Psychologically, todays game is going to have far-reaching effects. I don’t envisage either manager taking the game lightly, both will field a strong XI and go all out to win. The premiership this coming season is going to be between these two teams so todays result will be an indication as to who finishes top. So not just a friendly.. it’s gonna be war!

On team news Wenger has stated that Ospina was back in training on Tuesday, Alexis will be back this weekend but Welbeck is still unavailable through injury. So for our attack today we have Giroud, Ozil, Oxlade and Walcott available, Akpom however, has gone out on loan. Trying to second guess Arsénes team selection I would go with this:

submit football lineup

Subs: Ospina or Martinez, Monreal, Paul Easter, Oxlade, Wilshere, Chambers, Bellerin.

That’s a strong XI and capable of beating Chelsea on their day. Will today be that day?

It’s now 13 games in which Arséne has failed to beat the ‘mouthy one’ so it’s about time to alter that statistic don’t you think. That’s why this game is definitely not a friendly and why both managers will go all out to win.

Maureen on Sunday’s game: ‘It’s not a friendly, it’s more than that, but it’s less than a Premier League match.’  He has even suggested that he will play Costa, which goes to show how he is viewing the game.

Arsène Wenger also admits that Sunday’s Community Shield against Chelsea “will not be a friendly”.

Wenger hopes his side will maintain their momentum against the champions, but warned against reading too much into the result.

“We have to accept that every game is decided and judged as definite,” he said. “But you know that in real life it is not like that. The tribunal is out there and will draw conclusions from Sunday.”

From my point of view, it will be a strong psychological advantage for the winners. Whether that will translate in to who goes on to win the league is debatable, history tells us that it’s not necessarily the case, however, after beating City in the Community Shield last season we went on to get 4 points from our two League games against them.

So any Gooners out there who think todays game is a friendly and not a ‘must win game’, please think again. There is a lot at stake and it should be treated as a serious game. By thinking it’s a friendly you are doing a disservice to Wenger who I’m sure is taking it very seriously… and you know why, because it’s against Maureen.

So drop your trousers Maureen and bend over, we have the grease ready and are aiming for deep penetration.


Fantasy Premier League: 

If anyone is interested in a little bit of Fantasy, I’ve set up a Fantasy Premier League, it’s the League of Smegs and the code is: 165030-44791. Just go to the Fantasy Premier League site, log in, choose your team and then go to leagues and choose private league and type in the code. Just for fun amongst friends and I,m sure Cockie and Transplant would have fun choosing their team name. But beware, they have rules about anything offensive.

Right, time for a glass of wine and some spicy chorizo whilst I search a bit of smut.