Fuck… I’m suffering today. Went to a party last night and the Champagne flowed. I met a gorgeous woman with a mouth made for a blow-job. I tried my best charming way to try and bed her, using my stock chat up lines such as, “I want to put Le Coq into your penalty area and shoot”, but she was having none of it. Next time I meet her I’ll make sure she’s well pissed and she won’t realise anything has happened until it’s all over.
So Arsenal travel to the beautiful city of Birmingham today, with the local accent we all adore, great curry restaurants and Aston Villa. I like Remi Garde and I hope he manages to keep them in the Prem, but today he will hate his mate Wenger because we are going to thrash them. After a well deserved win in Greece midweek the boys should be on a high and full of confidence. We also managed to avoid Spursday night football and playing teams with idiotic names like FC Midtjyland, FK Krasnodar, Liverpool, Man United and Spurs.
So spirits and confidence should be high today, lets hope OG doesn’t get an og and Campbell creams his soup and gets his dummy out again. We are boosted by the return of Walcott and Ramsey looks as if he is on the verge of hitting some good form. Wenger has had his crystal balls out this week and they predict Ramsey scoring a shitload this season! How they know that I’ve got no fucking idea but he’s said it, so he knows best! However, we need others to get on the scoresheet, Ozil, the Ox and Monreal.If we get three points today we go top of the league, tomorrow the surprise package called Leicester entertain the Chavs, if they lose we stay top. However, there is a nasty streak in me and I’d like to see Leicester thrash the Chavs and keep them close to the relegation zone.
Furthermore, I have Vardy and Mahrez in my Fantasy team so I need them to have a good game to increase my points…. the upside would also be seeing the Chavs struggling.
Maureen stated this week that it would be an achievement to get a fourth place spot, well eat humble pie you fucking cunt because Wenger manages that every season. I sincerely hope you get relegated you fucking dick!
Right, from a hungover, sexually frustrated Nortbank soixante-neuf… that’s it. I need a hair of the dog and some spicy chorizo, baguette and some goats cheese for breakfast. Wherever you knobheads are watching the game today, enjoy…. and lets hope we get the three points and top the league… I didn’t mean it about Leicester winning… a draw would do and we stay top on goal average.