The Burnley witch hunt… let’s hang the bastards.

 

FA Cup day…. and we’ve got something to defend and a chance to make history. Just as they made history in Pendle, near Burnley, in 1612. One of the most famous witch trials in English History. Twelve were accused of murdering ten people by witchcraft, of the eleven who went to trial, nine women and two men (one had already died in prison), ten were found guilty and executed by hanging, one was found not guilty. Can’t explain why one was found not guilty, not in those days, everyone was found fucking guilty.

What else is interesting about Burnley, well it’s in Lancashire, so Lancashire hotpot is famous…..

and rightly so, it’s bloody yummy

Lancashire women are hearty and welcoming, they like to cuddle you and surround you with their large ample breasts and warm bodies and feed you their Lancashire Hot Pot…… bloody yummy.

 

Bury Black Pudding, created when you had to use up every single part of a pig, so the blood was cooked as well….. Bloody yummy.

And then there are Eccles cakes, full of currents and baked with puff pastry…… bloody yummy.

So what about our opponents, Burnley FC, nicknamed the ‘Clarets’, perhaps after the Black Pudding. Founded in 1882 and one of the founder members of the Football league in 1888, their home ground has been Turf Moor since 1883. They’ve been League Champions twice, way back in the dark ages and won the FA Cup in 1914 when every other player was off at the Front fighting for King and Country.

They did however, reach the quarter finals of the European Cup in 1961. They were quite famous in the 50’s and 60’s for being dead ball specialists and developing the unknown concept of ‘Total Football, which made them one of the more attacking sides during that period.

And don’t forget all the inbreeding that went on up there in Lancashire, here’s an example from 1905, a photo of two Burnley supporting brothers….. their father was their uncle and their mother was their sister and it’s recorded that she was their aunt too.

Furthermore, it still goes on, as this headline from the Burnley Daily Herald proves:

CCTV APPEAL: Man seen touching himself and making kissing noises at young girls in Burnley town centre.

But where are Burnley FC now? They’re in the Championship, somewhere near the top and doing well, in fact, they could even be promotion candidates. Last week they thrashed Derby 4-1 and are on a good run of form.

Do we have to be careful today? They are quite capable of causing a Cup upset, Wenger needs to field a strong side if we are to continue our march towards a third FA Cup trophy in a row and make history.

Who do we have available? Sanchez and Özil are fit, it looks as if Le Big Coq will be fit, I hope Cech plays but there are rumours that Ospina will be in the team and I’m sure our new chap from Morocco will get a try out today as well. The BFG won’t play because of his red card so Paul Easter will be included next to Kosser, Gibbs may come in for Monreal but Bellerin has to play because we don’t have anyone at the moment to deputize for him.

Up front, your guess is as good as mine, take Giroud, Walcott, the Ox, Campbell and Iwobi, put their names in a hat and pull out two.

So what are our chances? I don’t fucking know, I’m not a football bollocks expert! I prefer to post black and white photos of naked women, get drunk and have a fucking laugh.

I’m 100% sure that there will be a result though.

It could end up two ways, we thrash them and go through easy peesy, or they cause a cup upset and my dream of us making history goes down the drain just like the blood of the witches in Pendle in 1612. Let’s just hope they haven’t put a spell on the referee or offered him a free lifetime supply of Black pudding and ample bodied Lancashire women.

Come on you fucking Gunners.

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97 thoughts on “The Burnley witch hunt… let’s hang the bastards.

  1. I wonder where you got some of the headline post from 😉

    Ospina and Gibbs both confirmed for today by AW

    Is that The Hunchback of Burnley or you doing a bit of culling.

  2. Yes I put Moroccan because I get all these fucking North Africans mixed up 🙂 but walk like an Egyptian is good.
    It looks as if AA has gone down hill, the fucking hippy viking promised an early post and has now gone missing….. a blog needs to run efficiently and the admin over there ain’t doing a good job 😀

  3. Morning, Now that was on e fucking good post NB, where the fucking did you steal that from. 🙂
    Ospina starts in goal I believe, you know me I don’t want to sound a doomed, but I can’t see the letting us win the FA cup 3 times in a row, so if it’s not in this round we lose it most certainly come,.

    I like the sound of buxham Lancashire women, perhaps you can show a one in black and white being exorsisd 🙂 that should liven up the perverts Kelsey N5 and the shitshoveler.

    I won’t predict today’s result, as I feel outside forces may be involved but should we lose and you know a girl from Lancashire, fuck her sideways for as long as you can COYG’s

  4. “My laptop is in the menders, this tablet is fucking useless”
    Classic steve, would the tablet be viagra?
    And I was thinking you’d been on the piss already ha ha 🙂

  5. Some bloke on ACLF said words to the effect yesterday, that if AW stays another 2 years he will be nearly 70 and would be carried out in a coffin. I didn’t like that remark but held my breath.

    Consolbob must be in that age bracket or possibly older, The Greek manager was 71 when they won the Euros and SAF retired at 71 and more to the point I am approaching that milestone in two years..

    I hope Walcott gets dropped today providing Giroud is fit but Giroud likes yentzing too much and that gets him out of breath.

  6. Was going fishing today early, but it was pissing down, home in time for the match, but now a house husband, just had a text to tell me my laptop is fixed, went down to find he doesn’t open till twelve, I bet he’s Egyptian

  7. Kelsey, it’s a fact of life mate, when you get to that age, there’s a good chance you could be carried out in a coffin ha ha…. the bloke was only being honest

  8. Was watching United last night. Pundit said yes Ron keys goal was offside, but didn’t he score well. What a wanker

  9. When asked what he intends to do when he leaves Arsenal, Wenger said, I won’t be going for a FIFA position that tells it’s own story

  10. ah shit Steve….. you’ve got the hang of your tablet keyboard…. or the arab at the computer shop opened earlier than stated and you got your laptop back…. shame 🙂

  11. Not got it back yet NB, but this tablet has a mind of its own mate, not the best on a key pad, but this thing is not helping

  12. Steve, I met a few when in nick and I worked with far too many when I was in the Probation Service. You never know, they are more often than not very respectable and respected members of their community…. even politicians and royalty and most definately teachers ha ha ha.. fucking bastards

  13. OK…. it’s just past midday in a very sunny and warm Provence. I’m off to the bar and leave the blog in your capable hands Steve…. keep it going mate, I’ll be back in a couple of hours. If anyone get’s out of hand, ban the cunt 🙂

  14. Laptop back.spelling will be just as bad but a much bigger keyboard. Watching Spuds, just back in time for the kick off, have a good lunch NB 🙂

  15. I’m back from the bar slightly earlier than planned, not much happening and my drinking West Ham mate didn’t turn up, the cunt. Now I’m fucking Hank Marvin so need to get some pasta and cheese on the go.

    Steve, you didn’t do a very good job of looking after the blog mate….. you’re fucking sacked 🙂

  16. Got to speak the truth NB, aint got no sympathy with them, if i had my way they would disappear.
    Far too many do gooder’s in this country thinking of their fucking rights, then we have to keep them in fucking luxury

  17. Morning guys – just a little bit of trivia —

    ◾Arsenal have won their last five FA Cup ties against Burnley, scoring 16 and conceding just once. The one goal Burnley scored was in their biggest FA Cup loss since 1896 (Burnley 1-7 Arsenal, in 1937).
    ◾The Gunners have lost just one of their 40 FA Cup games against lower league opposition under Arsene Wenger’s management (W31 L1 D8).
    ◾Burnley have progressed past the fourth round on five of the last six occasions, though they’ve not reached the fifth round since 2011.
    ◾Arsenal have won 32 of their last 39 home FA Cup ties at home (W32 D6 L1).
    ◾Olivier Giroud has scored nine goals in his last 13 FA Cup appearances for Arsenal.
    ◾Burnley have won their last three away games in all competitions, scoring 10 goals and conceding just two

  18. Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has admitted that no other club wanted £5m Egyptian midfielder Mohamed Elneny.

    Elneny has been described as “between Mathieu Flamini and Aaron Ramsey” with his defensive-minded box-to-box style; he will start in midfield alongside Francis Coquelin on Saturday against Burnley in the FA Cup.

    Wenger appears quite cautious about Elneny, who was shocked by the physicality of the game against Stoke two weeks ago.

    “Let’s see how well he adapts to English football before we see if we have got him for a cheap price,” said Wenger.

    “Maybe there wasn’t a lot of competition because we were the only interested club in signing him.

    “Not too many people spoke about him and he was basically not much on the radar.

    “But we were looking at a specific position for a player with his kind of qualities and we identified Elneny as someone with the potential to do it.

    “I think we were right about him, but now he has to show that he can do it.

    “It’s a big step for him to come from Switzerland to go to the Premier League but I think it is the right time for him.

    “Physically, he is not a monster. Usually middle eastern people are big on stamina, mobility and agility but sometimes lack a bit of power.

    “He is not a powerhouse, but winning the ball is not only down to strength. It’s also about technique and switching on at the right moment.

    “You have players who are really muscular who lose fights against very slim players because small guys get their timing right.

    “It’s a real technique to switch your muscle on when the opponent is in a weak position.

    “I remember Jean Tigana only weighed 63 kilograms yet he was unbelievable as a defensive midfielder.

    “Elneny is a natural box-to-box player but he is more defensive-minded than most who play that role, so he can also play in a holding position.

    “He is a little bit between Mathieu Flamini and Aaron Ramsey. He can win the ball and effect quick transition and he is defensive-minded in his transitioning.”

  19. Fucking lot of excuses N5 before his even kicked a ball in anger, if no fucker wanted him why have we paid 5 mill oh i know cause were a benefit fucking Nation

  20. Arsenal
    13Ospina
    21Chambers
    5Gabriel
    6Koscielny
    3Gibbs
    34Coquelin
    35Elneny
    45Iwobi
    15Oxlade-Chamberlain
    17Sánchez
    12Giroud

    Substitutes
    7Rosicky
    8Arteta
    14Walcott
    18Monreal
    24Bellerín
    28Campbell
    33Cech

    Burnley
    1Heaton
    27Darikwa
    5Keane
    6Mee
    23Ward
    21Boyd
    14Jones
    20Ulvestad
    37Arfield
    9Vokes
    7Gray

    Substitutes
    2Lowton
    4Duff
    11Kightly
    13Barton
    15Taylor
    17Robinson
    18Hennings

    Referee:

    Roger East

  21. Well Steve, we’ll get a chance to assess El Ninny today…. next to le Coq! A good team, should be able to beat Burnley but I’m surprised Chambers has been put at RB and not Bellerin, bit of a risk. I won der whats wrong with Ozil?

  22. “We must be humble and show Burnley respect” “Just because we are at home and turn up, we can’t expect to win”.

    Or words to that effect from Wenger.

    Then he puts out a reserve team.

    Ospina ffS!

    Chambers at right-back.

    Mesut not even on the bench.

    “You never win anything with kids”, so he starts with Iwobi.

    Sheesh!

  23. 3.0 few changes in that squad, better hope for a few goals in the first half as the Coq and his side kick wont last, sorry 3,1

  24. Got to say that our defence is all over the place, no dominating at all.
    The trouble with multiple changes is cohesion and it always goes astray. Hopefully the second half will give us a little more idea, we must get forwards in their six yard box as they have four to our none.

  25. Elneny does not look too bad Coq is racing about, but the one i like watching is Iwobi, this lad has a football brain very seldom does he give the ball away, watch him and compare his work to Walcotts

  26. Chambers didn’t jump for the Burnley goal. Our fluency has gone, our build up play is far too slow and The Ox couldn’t hit a barn door.

    Regardless who is playing we are not entertaining as we used to be,though with Ozil not playing we realise how much he pulls the strings.

    I can’t really pin it down but defensively we are often just hoofing the ball away,not our style at all.

  27. Good typical FA Cup tie….. a deserved win for us, Awobi MOTM and Elneny had a good start for us, just a bit unsure as to where he should play, he was all over the pitch. Seems to have the same battery as Sanchez.

  28. Elneneys first outing looked fairly good, a few shots on target, that wont last the coaches will knock that out of him. Chamberlain had his boots on the wrong feet. A tough old game, but with the right result

  29. I think it was a very well worked goal, our second.

    .Good win but not one that will live in the memory for long.

    El Ninny had more shots than anyone.

    Walcott yet again one on one with the entire Burnley outfield still in our half, mucks up what amounted to an easy chance,mind you he is on on 140K a week and is still learning as he starts our 11th year with us.

  30. The Egyptian definitely know how to shoot from distance and keep it on target, but he needs more discipline, which will come, he just wanted to impress today ha ha

  31. The Egypo’s Debut went well, Batteries lasted the full ninety, i thought he would run out of gas, but held out well. Not keen on the blazing runs but still early doors.

    Young Iwobi had a good game, shame he went off, as i felt we lost something . to think we have rested some of our Engineers, we still had some fine performances, wouldn’t like to be picking the next eleven.

    This Iwobi has a special talent, a football brain and the ease of a pass, our troubles are defensivly

  32. Anybody home ?…………………………………..sounds like Elneny had a good game by all the praising comments on here !………..sounded like you all wanted to……Wank like an Egyptian !.
    Wasn`t about as some of us have to work….well sort of work, delivering to all the Cornish beauty spots is a piece of piss, no wonder I …..touch wood……haven`t taken a day off in 11 years !.
    Port William at Trebarwith Strand was fucking wild today….big frothy waves !.
    Have a butchers GN5 !.

    http://www.theportwilliam.co.uk/gallery

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