An Arsenal fans Nightmare….

It’s May 21st 2016……FA Cup final day……. Wembley Stadium…… and Arsenal are there and can make history by winning a third FA Cup trophy in a row. Unfortunately, the referee is Mike Dean and our opponents are the wankers from N17, the Spervs. The Spuds don’t want the best team in North London to win another FA Cup and will do anything to stop that from happening….. and Mike Dean has secret instructions from the English FA. Despite those obstacles, Arsenal have played a superb, dominating game.

Iwobi has scored a hat-trick but Arsenal are now down to eight men after Koscielny was sent off for speaking to the ref and Sanchez and Ozil received red cards for excessive cuddling after the 2 goals they scored between them to put the Gunners 5-0 up. The bastards from the wrong end of Seven Sisters Road have managed to bring the score to 4-5, having been awarded 4 dubious penalties by the ref, and have just equalised to make it 5-5.

With 40 seconds remaining Elneny is blatantly brought down in the spervs six yard box and it’s an outright penalty, Mike Dean just can’t refuse, but he hesitates for a whole minute before he realises that 5 million people are watching and his instructions from the FA that Arsenal must lose at all costs has to be ignored or otherwise his biased handling of the game would be exposed.

Walcott has been on the pitch for two minutes after replacing an injured Iwobi and is given the responsibility to take the penalty because he has hardly scored all season….. score this and it will be 6-5 to the Gunners and history will be made.

….. he steps up to the spot and places the ball…….Mike Dean, for some inexplicable reason uses his white spray marking can to draw a line in front of the ball and in the process accidently sprays it in Walcotts’ face………

…….Walcott rubs his eyes……….. he walks four yards from the ball……. he rubs his eyes again and looks at a blurred Lloris in goal….. and a blurred ball four yards ahead of him……

….. he starts his run……. his right boot connects to the ball……. the ball flies towards the goal……. is it going over……. Lloris moves towards it……

And then I fucking woke up!



32 thoughts on “An Arsenal fans Nightmare….

  1. Just as well you did NB, as that silly fucker was 12 yards away and it would have been a pass back. Walcott has had his day. 10 years at Arsenal and still learning, Is that us or him, as had i been manager he would have gone years ago, Many supporters seem to love Theo, Commentators and Pundits alike seem mesmerised by this youngster, His pace will definitely make the difference i have heard that so many times, i almost throw up.

    Walcott has had an easy ride this clean cut smooth talking youngster get plenty of TV adverts, always seems to head programs, is spoken to after games gives his rendition of the days events but fouls to tell you he did very little throughout the game, that his team mates had to cover for him because he didn’t want to get mud on his boots. He never tells why he doesn’t tackle why he doesnt attack defences, why should he when he can pass it back and sprint off to a place on the pitch where fuck alls happening. Why he never heads the ball and why he cannot get a shot on target, Why he fucks up when confronted with one on ones why its so important to him to be the fastest player ,in fact why his on the pitch in the first place.

    Sorry having the vision of having to rely on him just gives me the shivers.

  2. That’s it for me for a couple of hours, things to do, lists to make, paint to canvas and all that bollocks…. will be back later. Bon apres midi mes amis….. gross bisous xxx

  3. Fucking nightmare 69

    I have many nightmares 69. They usually involve a Mac wearing man wanting to discuss something behind the bike shed? Thinking it’s something important, maybe between us solving the worlds economic crisis I turn up only to find he wants to talk about how lonely he is after his wife left him and the BBC axed The Generation Game. Poor bloke.

    He also wanted to bum me off.

    I used to have those Totnumb nightmares 69, but cured myself by visualising at there finale that I let of a nuclear device.

    Just a word on John Terry. Who cares if he’s said the odd racist comment? It don’t make him Josef Gobbels. Terry’s to thick to be an expert propagandist.

    Of course I don’t take racism lightly. Not talking about been called a bubble or even worse, been mistaken for an Italian. Ime talking about the worse form of rascism imaginable, been singled out for been a good looking bastard.

    The amount of times I have had no choice but to sleep with friends wife’s is really unbearable. It really gets to me.

    For instance, one of my best friends has just sufffered a bereavement. So tonight , whilst he’s out, I will be going round his house to comfort his wife.

  4. So much for the media crap about Wishere being re-injured in training!!

    Team news: Rosicky, Wilshere and Welbeck

    Arsène Wenger has revealed the latest team news ahead of the Southampton game on Tuesday night:

    on the team news…

    The team news is that we have all the players that played on Saturday available again. The only problem we have is that we lost Rosicky through injury. We have to assess one or two. Overall the situation looks quite good for everybody else.

    on Tomas Rosicky…

    He has a thigh problem – a muscular tendon problem, but we don’t know how bad it is. It happened three or four minutes after he came on and we have to assess him today. He’s not available for a while. We will know much more tonight.

    on Jack Wilshere…

    He is looking good. I had a short chat with Roy Hodgson about him and reassured him that he is progressing well. I’m cautious but I will say four weeks [until he is back].

    on Danny Welbeck…

    Danny has not played since April 2015 and will have to go through a game or two with the under-21s, where we can monitor him and leave him free to play at his level of commitment. That looks to be very soon, maybe this week.

    Copyright 2016 The Arsenal Football Club plc. Permission to use quotations from this article is granted subject to appropriate credit being given to as the source

  5. NB, frankly it would be my worst nightmare to see Walcott being given the responsibility to take a game winning penalty – especially if was needed to win our third consecutive FA Cup. I would definitely be behind the sofa for that one!!

  6. Breaking news

    Pep Guardiola has been appointed the new manager at Manchester City for next season on a three-year deal.

    The 45-year-old, currently in charge at Bayern Munich, will replace Manuel Pellegrini, who will leave on 30 June.

  7. Well that’s a good couple of hours work done, thinking I may need an afternoon snooze soon ha ha

    I’ve just been on the BBC site GN5 to see if we’d bought anyone but instead I was greeted by the news about Gladioli…… fucking bad news, but lets see how he gets on in the EPL. Perhaps he’ll end up like Van Girl. 🙂

  8. Only a few hours left for Arsene to buy a super duper striker and nail the EPL and probably our last chance for who knows how long !………………………………seeing as Mansour City have pulled off the best deal, He(Pep) will undoubtably take them to another level !…. £50M`s for DeBruyne and Sterling !…….expect the Sheiks to double that in the coming Summer TW !,…..we will be left behind and back to Groundhog day of fighting for 4th place trophy !….it`s inevitable and then there`s the W Ham, Spud, Dippers and Chavs new stadiums to take into account where they will all generate skip loads of dosh, but only to use it on buying players instead of having a great bank balance as we do !.
    We will look back on the Arsene years and realise we never had it better with constantly getting into CL !….these new grounds and the Pep signing will make it even harder for him to compete !, not his fault, but to not spend now is !…..last chance Arsene before we all pray at your inevitable outside statue at the Em`s !……Win it this year and retire to Dennis like status and let some other fucker take us to the only other way……down …….to the pits of Europa League status !.
    Pep was never going to take over from Wenger, he likes to cherry pick clubs with enormous wealth and guarentee success !. Arsenal would have been a challenge, obviously he doesnt like challenges….fucking shame FFP didn`t work !……………..hope the cunt suffers from hyperthermia in Manchester and his cock drops off in his wife`s freezing cunt and realize he should have joint a club in tropical N5 London !.

  9. With Arsene crowing bye to any secret last minute deals that we nearly have everybody back, we can kiss good to any secret last minute buys, in fact if any action at all, it well probably be players leaving and more money in the bank.

    Do we really need any more Marquee players, of course we dont and do Arsenal need more money in the bank of course they do. I did read the other day that Arsenal finances are stable, so will not be raising season ticket prices. Oh fucking Woopee. Arsene please dont dismay me any more, by playing that passenger Walcott tomorrow;

    I see Terry and the Coq are working well 🙂

  10. Sounds like Rosiski’s time has finally come, I have to say not before time. Him Arteta and Flamoni have done their bit for us, but with The Coq and Ramsey Wilshere and Elneny and the elusive Cazorla we must have enough cover in the middle of the park. Per Merts must be coming to the end,but Gabriel still look like he still hasn’t settled, and Chambers needs more work, so really we could have done with a bit of experience Terry anyone.

    I dont know how you lot felt with Ospina fucking about in his box , but he certainly doesn’t instil confidence, i hope Cech’s back tomorrow. Bellerin should be back, as we did miss his scintillating play out wide. While Iwobi is playing like he did Saturday i feel we should give him another couple of games to see if it was a fluke. Monreal will make up the back line, he has certainly found his Niche’ and i feel that kos works better with him in the team. Sanchez of course is a must but he has to let go of the ball quicker, Ozil was missed but will he get in and who drops out, i do hope its not Iwobi. Giroud needs a goal to lift him, but it wouldnt suprise me if Wenger plays his favorite Walcott, boy i hope not.

    Guardiola to take over from Pelegrini, makes you wonder what a Manager has to do to keep his job nowadays, of course we know dont we , spend cheap.

  11. Elneny looks like he has what we need in Midfield, needs his wings clipped but i feel once he has established himself and understands what he should be doing we may have hit on a winner. Iwobi although only nineteen looks like a pass seems very easy for him. I liked the way he made himself available and how he knows where players are he seems to read the game very well being so young.

    I am impressed with how wer’e progressing, still looking vulnerable at the back, I felt that defenders were not sure where they should be and what is expected of them, Bouldy should be instilling that into them, that’s his job after all. Get those things sorted and we have the capability to do well

  12. Wouldn’t have taken him long Kels that’s for sure, Plus he has an open purse. This is really the season that the also rans have a chance to do well. The ones who have stadiums to build, will have their spending cut right down, but most of them have thought of that possibility and have a few in reserve. Where they will get their money who knows but the Hammers will settled very quickly.

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