The Wizard, the Witch and the Shadow Dwellers.

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Once upon a time a charismatic Wizard called Ranieros came to middle Engeland, to a small sleepy village called Leicestershire, snuggled in-between green hills and an enchanted forest full of daisies, wonderful animals and buttercups.

In the village were eleven valiant gnomes led by a prince called Vardious, a simple man who worked with steel and iron and dreamed of being a hero. He was strong and skilful, the local villagers adored him and the gnomes worked hard and diligently for their Prince. The Wizard invited the gnomes to the village hall one evening and told them he had a quest, he outlined an adventure of such daring and danger that the little creatures sat there in disbelief, hardly able to envisage what the wizard was describing.

He wanted them to travel with him over the length and breadth of the whole kingdom searching for a Golden Chalice, a Chalice that would make them rulers of the Kingdom of Engeland, it would be a voyage where they would have to do battle against Orcs, Trolls, Ogres, evil witches, dark forces, rich wicked overlords with venomous armies and other despicable creatures. Evil beings that would use every evil spell and trick to destroy them and condemn them to the land of ghost dwellers, a land of long forgotten defeated Kings and Princes, a land full of armies that had once ruled the land but had been defeated by the evil ones, a land called the Championship.

Ranieros had to work hard with his team of merry men, the tiny gnomes gave their everything to find the Golden Chalice, against the horrors they had to face, the battles they fought, and no one worked harder than Vardious, he was an inspiration to his men, a prince of such valour that it inspired them to fight against all odds, to beat the warlords, the Orcs, the rich wicked overlords and the evil witches.

They battled against the most vile of creatures and they had been successful, they had fought valiantly and with honour, they had lost only one battle on their arduous journey, against a famous, long lived  warlord called Arsènolio, otherwise known as El Profo. He was a goodly King but a leader who had been stripped of his fortune by an evil foreign interloper named Stan the wig. Thus El Profo was left with a depleted army of good intentioned warriors but ultimately they were weak, and despite defeating Ranieros and his valiant gnomes, it didn’t stop the Middle Engelanders from surging forward with their quest for the Golden Chalice.

Finally, Ranieros, Vardious the hero Prince and the brave and valiant Gnomes were approaching the final few battles of their long and arduous quest. On the battle field called Upton, in the land of Tower Hamlets, ruled by Belic, an evil warlord from the mysterious East and his army of Hammer swingers, the Gnomes battled valiantly and with heroism, fighting against all the odds and an evil wicked witch called  Moss, known throughout Engeland as Moss the Inadequate. A little witch of insignificant authority, Moss the Inadequate used very dark magic and the power of FA, an evil, venomous entity that uses mysterious magic which can turn the balance of power in a battle with just the flick of a wand.

And so it came about that Moss the Inadequate was able to seriously injure Vardious the Valiant Prince during the battle of Upton, and consequently turn the balance of power to the benefit of the the Shadow Dwellers, the evil, wicked, knuckle dragging army of the Dark Northern Region of Londonium, called Tottenringham. Ruled by an evil Latino King named Maurichioni.They are the final evil barrier that the small group of heros have to face, win their final four battles and the Shadow Dwellers will lose and the Golden Chalice will go to Leicestershire, Ranieros the Wizard and his little band of Merry Gnomes will be victorious..

But Moss the Inadequate has inflicted a serious set back for the charismatic Wizard Ranieros and his little army of brave gnomes. They are now without their hero Prince, the odds have been changed by an evil wicked Witch, and the Shadow dwellers won the battle yesterday against the vicious Orcs of the badlands, on the battle field of Stoke, a vermin infested village of the most horrible people you could ever imagine, a vile and contemptible  people who use sorcery and every evil trick in the book to win, to injure and to kill.

And now it is up to the Valiant gnomes and the charismatic Wizard Ranerios to fight to the finish against the Shadow Dwellers and without their Prince Vardious. It will be a battle of epic proportions, one which will be remembered throughout living memory, a battle which will unite the Kingdom of Engeland against the evil Shadow Dwellers, a final, bloody battle for the Golden Chalice.

Will good win over evil? Will the valiant gnomes from Middle Engeland get the Golden Chalice? or will the wicked Shadow Dwellers from the evil darklands of Totteringham succeed?

To be continued……..





145 thoughts on “The Wizard, the Witch and the Shadow Dwellers.

  1. Your mind doth wandereth goodly blogger from afar, and thou hast spun a cunning web about yon kickers. Wizard Ranieros will snuffeth out the waxen candles in Tottenringham and condemn it to everlasting darkness.

    An incredible post –

    We can only hope that we find a Prince Charming who come’s along to awaken our poorly foot soldiers by giving them a mighty kick up their arsenal’s.

  2. AfternoonGN5

    I see you have found some kindred spirits over on PA….. with your positivity about the Arsenal and Arsène, no one there will jump on you or be sarcastic. I think it’s ideal for you 🙂

  3. Frankly NB I prefer it here where the opinions are more diverse but certain bog dwellers make it difficult to have a logical dialogue

  4. I’ve no idea GN5…. I can’t go on NEWSNOW because of the language I use…. and I’m never gonna change that, it’s me. So probably just have to wait and hope for more bloggers to arrive 🙂

    But ultimately, I’m not in it for the hits like some other blogs, it’s just a joy to write and have a small band of merry followers who like the occasional single malt and a laugh. 🙂

  5. I get your point NB but it’s a real shame that posts that good only get a few readers.

    Diversity is the spice of life and I’m all for it but I will allow myself to become mired in the bog by smart arse sarcastic comments. Therefore my participation will always cause controversy.

  6. Bonjour Soixante-Neuf, busy morning and only just got the chance to read your (literally) fantastic post. The JRR Tolkien of the Arsenal Blog World.

    If only some wizard could conjour up a spell that would revitalise our team in a way Wenger is no longer able to. Ahh, if only!

  7. GN5

    I don’t think Wenger is affected much by Arsenal bloggers, but I would agree that possibly what goes on at the Emirates and away games with supporters could have an affect, but Wenger has said in the past that the 1% doesn’t really matter to him.

  8. Exercise to do and will read later, but have to put up NG and GN5`s rumble in the concrete jungle !. hahaha

  9. Great post `69er and definately deserving of a wider audience !.
    I cant see anything stopping the Shadow Dwellers, they have been best in defense and attack and there is without doubt dark days ahead for the House of Real Arsenal !

    Stretch ( from last post )…………fucking weird mate !..I was driving along today thinking how the Spuds had the likes of Waddle and Hoddle and they were better players than Kane and Alli, yet these bastards are within touch of making me fucking vomit !
    I was thinking it`s has to be down to their current manager and tactics and honestly wondered what or how our players would have performed with the same tactics and formations ?
    The Spud cunt is like a latter day Georgie Graham and I have always said you need to be strong at the back first, Wengers philosophy of attack attack attack is not fit for the current way teams play and as you have previously said…………..all teams are physical specimens, athletes and play strict and diciplined formations that apart from A Villa are all hard to beat !
    I`m afraid Wenger has to either change philosophy or die by the sword or the knives in the back from people who once worshipped him and as much as it pains me to say it……we need a Mourinho type manager who has disciplined teams !……………….Simeone wouldn`t be a bad gamble !
    Be honest mate, something has to change, we have some of the finest players we have ever bought, yet it`s not working and something or someone has to give !.

  10. For someone who is prepared to push your own peculiar opinions on all and sundry ad nauseum, you have a remarkably thin skin GN5. People on another site bent over backwards to avoid upsetting you, yet you still managed to find something with which to take offence, and departed in a huff.

    It’s your privilege to post any opinion you like, it’s my privilege to disagree with them in any way I choose, if my responses to your opinions offend you too bad.

    While you continue to offer your opinions, I’ll continue to disagree with them.

  11. Cockie, we’ve been in a rut for a decade now, and it’s getting deeper and muddier all the time. The manager is doing his best, but listening to his after match comments it’s clear that he has no idea what is wrong, I’m not sure he even acknowledges there is a problem.

    Your favourite person , the bewigged Silent One is happy with “The Brand”, For the moment the dissatisfaction of a section of the club’s supporters is fairly muted.

    If we fail win the regular Top Four Trophy the level of unrest will inevitably increase and then just maybe the message will get through to Stan and his man.

  12. Agree NG and as much as it hurts not to be competing at the top I think it`s not too far away when we will be struggling for top 4 on a normal basis !…………to me it`s inevitable with the Spuds new stadium and more so WHam and their rubbing of the lamp and a genie has appeared to offer them 3 wishes….wish 1….can we have a new stadium for nothing ?….tick !………….wish 2….can we have it refurbished to the cost of the tax payer ?….tick !……………wish 3…..can we pay a peppercorn rent and include policing, stewards, goal post, nets lighting, well basically everything chucked in as well ?…..tick !
    Arsenal make £3m net per home game !…..anyone know how much W Ham are going to make per game without all the above stuff, policing , heating pitch, lights, stewards etc` etc`stc` ?……….they haven`t just won the lottery, the`ve purchased the machine which prints the money !………they should change their name from West Ham United to ………………. Quantative Easing United

  13. Evening all, Nice one NB what a splendid theme.
    I have to say that the fun of the Premiership has lost its sparkle since we held our arms up and said enough’s enough we surrender.

    I never thought i would say that Spuds deserve there place above us but by fuck they do, and good luck to them. I keep hearing Gooners say i just hope Leicester win the league and not them, Doesn’t matter to me who wins it when were out of it, not much interest in it at all.

    Top 4 of course would at least keep us playing with the Leicesters and the Spuds but even that is not a given, especially the way we are going about it. People call me a Doomer would you believe that, I used to believe we could win anything but not now and not for a while.

    Dont know if we have players with no hear,t or are we being starved is it the tactics or is it our leaders, every bodies got their own idea’s, but all i know is the only thing we could win is the thing we always seem to get but in all fairness maybe not this season.

    Of course like a good supporter i will follow the last few results, and see exactly how many points the winners will be better than us. Who knows the leaders may just bottle just like we did. and it may just be a bit closer than it is now.

  14. Cockie, I thought that when Yeovil closed their ground with the notorious slope, that we would all be on a level playing field but West Ham have blown that idea out of the water.

    How the Premiership and the FA have allowed this to happen I really don’t know.

  15. Steve it really is depressing to think that at Christmas it was looking good for three competions but, as happened too often in the past, by mid April we scrapping for fourth.

    Should we as supporters be happy with this situation?

  16. I was delivering here this morning on a hot sunny day and instead of looking about for some scantilly clad buxomous beauties all I could think about was how sick I was feeling that Them Cunts will win the league !
    I`m sorry to say that I take it a lot harder than you boys…..I`d rather us be relegated than Them Cunts win the league !…………….in footballing terms it`s my worst nightmare and it gods honest truth hurts like hell !. 😦

  17. Hiya Norfolk, Of course we should mate, lot of positions behind fourth or fifth so no its not bad at all.

    Wenger has said he doesn’t intend to buy to much this season, nothing new, but it does concern me a little just how bad we will be next season. Of course he also said that who we have will only get better, I can’t see that, but he knows more than me, and i am too old to keep worrying about it.

    The good thing about it all, is we are still in the premier League, even were not that bad to miss out on that, Yet

  18. At least we would be the wealthiest club in the Championship, we may even be able to win the league

  19. Newcastle have given us a lifeline tonight, by holding City to a draw.

    3 points on Thursday evening will put us up to third, can we do it? Well Bob the Builder would say “YES WE CAN”.

    Let’s hope so!

  20. NG, If you think I have thin skin then you are a lot thicker that I thought, but that is typical of your childish remarks . It will be my absolute pleasure to totally ignore all of your crap from this time forth.

  21. You guys can bicker as much as you like, but what binds guys like us together is the football club. You two are both good supporters, the only difference is that we have different views on things.

    Over the years i too got into little spats with people who had different views, what i found is that because our football team is shit, and we have long memories, we dont like to own up and say that its the clubs fault.

    I have never wanted to upset people just because i have my view, but what i have noticed is that if you have a staunch view then two supporters who have the same interests begin to fester. Now in my humble opinion we dont have to many bloggers on this site, and being a guy who has left a couple of sites because of disagreements can see the same thing happening here and thats with a leader thats lets you say whatever you like.

    I say this because i can see where its going, and i believe the blog would be poorer without either of you. Gn5 we know you feel like you have Wengers back, I can remember me saying exactly what your saying now, and i meant it then , but now i see a man who is living in the past, He still believes he can acheive what he did in the past, and its apparent that he just doesnt have the firepower.

    I changed my mind on Mr Wenger because of his arrogant ways, I was sad when i realised that the man had had it. I now only look forward and hope that by some fluke we will win a cup now and again, but the league while Mr Wenger is with us is a bridge to far.

    Now of course you will disagree and probably have a go at me, I dont really care, as i have my views and you have yours but we dont have to get personal and dig at one another. You may well be right and we may just win the league next year but i know deep down that you know that is asking a little to much. Wenger wont change, he wont spend and he wont change tact, the man has come to the end of the Arsenal road and so have some of his players. .

  22. ha ha ha Cockie….. that video of the drunks really does sum up the two old gits 🙂

    Now Norfolk and GN5, I want you two girls in my office this minute. Now listen and listen carefully, you need to stop this bickering, it’s getting you no where and making you both look like a couple of spoilt brats. It’s great for others to watch and listen, in fact it’s very funny, but at your ages I’m sure it’s not good for your blood pressure. If you can’t find a way to get along, then fucking ignore each other.
    You both have a weeks detention and will each have to write 1000 lines, “I am a fucking idiot”

    Now both bend over and drop your knickers………..

  23. In the gossip columns this morning it would appear that Wenger is targeting Mahrez as a priority and that Sanchez and Ozil are refusing to extend their contracts till the summer…… looks as if they want to see some investment and the team strengthened before they make a decision.

  24. Good morning all, apparently our esteemed manager has admitted that he could have bought Mahrez for £400,000 in January 2014. He didn’t because he thought he would be criticised for buying on the cheap.

    Another one that got away.

  25. Bonjour Norfolk

    A couple of points on that Wenger story, firstly, would Mahrez have done as well as he has in the current Arsenal team? Secondly, is it a statement from Wenger just to get back at the people who criticise him for not spending enough on a player? as if to say, see, if you weren’t criticising me for being a cheap skate, I could have got Mahrez!

  26. Ha, ha I’ve just read GN5’s latest @ 2.40am, he’s going to ignore all the “crap” that I write “from this time forth”.
    In the immortal words of Del Boy, “What a Plonker”

  27. Bonjour Soixante-Neuf, I’ve really no idea why Wenger says much of the stuff he’s reported as saying, I just know that each time he makes remarks like this about Mahrez he loses a bit more credibility in my eyes.

  28. Sorry 69er, I missed your first point. If Wenger had bought him on the cheap and he turned out really well, it would have enhanced his reputation for digging out nuggets and moulding them into valuable players. But he didn’t, does that mean undoubted his own ability? Or was he afraid of the criticism he would get in the event of failure?

    Either way Leicester got him and if we want him now, it’s going to cost a whole lot more than £400,000.

  29. That wouldn’t be a problem Norfolk, I’d get a loft apartment in Drayton Park Road, paid for by the council, a nice dollop of benefit and free health care, I’d go drinking in Holloway Road and Upper Street….. and I’d start to go to the games at the Emirates.

  30. More seriously though, a few ex pats here are getting a bit worried…. I could for instance lose my free health care insurance, I’d have to start applying again for a carte de sejour instead of just using my European passport, and my UK driving licence would be a problem !

    But most are saying that for those who have lived here for a number of years won’t have a problem.
    But IMO the UK is not going to vote out….. the consequencies would be horrendous for the UK.

  31. Ha ha, you’d freeze your bollocks off in the first winter 69er.

    Must go, breakfast and a swim this morning, followed by a probably painful session at the dentist.

    A tout a l’heure.

  32. GN5 : ” Bad mouth Arsene will you ?……this is nothing, wait `till my adopted son Terry gets a hold of you !….he`s half Greek from Troy and will wreck your rectum with a horse shaped wooden dildo !”

    NG : “Oh yeah !………..ever had your false teeth rattled from rear penetration with a Kawasaki 250cc Kango ?…………………….STEVIE !!!

  33. …

  34. The above is a coded message about randy Lerner. The frightening thing is that he apparently knows more than kroenke about football and it’s involvement.

    I have been saying it for years “we re doomed” and seats are being sold at half price for the WBA game.

    A snowball will soon turn into an avalanche, you wait and see but if he stays the stats of him in charge get decidedly worse season after season.

    Walcott is to be sold in the SummerA waste of space at 100+K a week but it took our manager about 4 years to realise that.

    On the positive side I was discharged by the cardiologist yesterday so I can really get down to dooming.

    We need at least 6 players in the Summer and i mean the real deal, but will it happpen, no way. I honestly expect the other big four and Spurs and possibly West ham to all overtake us whilst we sit in the wilderness for a few years.

    We need a new majority shareholder and a younger manager but how is that going to happen.

    Wenger has well and truly fucked up and his post match interviews are at the least bizarre.

    He reminds me a bit like Churchill.saved our country again the Nazis but took his eyes off tings after the war in the UK and got ousted.

    AW has been great but how long do we have to put up with players who he can’t motivate anymore and then the muppet sitting next to him should also take some responsibility as he played in a very good defence.

    Shame really that it coincides with the coming of a very good Spurs young team with a bright young manager,yet word on the street is that several big clubs will be after him as his contract is up for renewal in May. United an even barca are watching the situatio.

    If we don’t win tomorrow expect a riot 😉

  35. Great news Kelsey !…………………..look forward to your realistic dooming and agree aboout us being in the wilderness for a few years…..have said it on here for a while now !
    I`m like a young Kelsey and Transplant is like a young GN5 ! hahaha

  36. Top stuff Kelsey. Hopefully Arsene stays another 20 years, giving you a long and healthy dooming hahaha.

    Great post 69. Shame theres only a few of us here to enjoy it. I wish you lot could make your peace with AA ? That way, in a gay way we could all see more of each other hahaha.

    Cornwall, come on mate. Do you really expect me to wait in an alleyway whispering “Pssss Arsene, round this corner, I have a top four trophy for you” and stab him in the back? You know me better than that. I know exactly what your saying though mate. Next year should be Arsenes last and I wish him well.

  37. Good to hear that your cardiologist has discharged you Kelsey, when I asked mine if it was wise to go ski ing three months after my heart attack he told me to go and enjoy myself, but keep taking the meds. That was in Jan 2013, I’m still here and still enjoying myself.

  38. It`s obvious to me that the hypocyondriac`sorearses on here aint got much time left and the `sorearse bucket is just waiting to be kicked !…………………….so we need to bring in some young talented pessimistic`s to be trained by the experienced teac hers on here on how to doom with dignity !

    I tell you what would be funny !……………………..NG and GN5 chucked into the revolving doors at the `sorearse office entrance and watch them bragging who`s chasing who !. hahaha

  39. A good read, but in fighting persists lol…you perhaps thought i was pushing up daisies or just hoping :). I stopped posting, because our football had become repetitive and comments similarly. I know GN5 wont be impressed, but nothing will change until Arsene leaves. Things may well go downhill initially, a sad belief, not an original view, i know. However, I find it impossible to understand how people expect results to improve, ordinary managers know how to beat us..and they do. I miss the excitement of and upcoming match, win, lose or draw, I find now its getting meh, probably a bad supporter, maybe, but an honest 1. To start every season seemingly 2 or 3 players short, has taken its toll. I wouldn’t consider myself a glory hunter, nor entitled. I just want the team to push on or try. All AW excuses have this season been flushed down the toilet, I don’t want to hear any more of them. My view of challenging for the title and the clubs are obviously different, the CL qualification glass ceiling sucks. I’m not naive enough to believe it is a sport and not a business, but our recent title challenges are about as exciting as watching Natwest’s share price…I have probably said enough

  40. With the forthcoming Brexit vote, I find myself yearning for the good old days, Empires were ruled by emperors, Kingdoms ruled by kings, now we just have countries …..

  41. hey hey Michael

    Really nice to hear from you….. must admit I did think you may have been brown bread mate 🙂

    Or that you moved to your Chateau in France and said, fuck the Arsenal, and lived happily ever after ha ha ha

  42. I don’t think you have much to worry about in the event of Brexit 69er, I can’t see the French chucking all the expats out, half the village’s in France would be depopulated and we would retaliate by sending Wenger home. Now that is a strong argument for voting Leave. 😀

  43. ha ha Norfolk

    Well the Dordogne and Provence would definitely end up half empty 🙂

    The French wouldn’t deport the les Anglais who bring money into the economy that’s for sure , but a low life drunken piss artist like me who doesn’t contribute a single centime to the French Republique would be the first one to be put on the ferry to Dover ha ha ha

  44. Cockie @1:14pm

    I think you may have hit the nail on the head mate, the ageing population on here could all probably kick the fucking bucket fairly soon so new recruits are essential 🙂 With my debauched lifestyle I’ll probably be the first to go! ha ha

    GN5 and NG in a revolving door bragging as to who’s chasing who ha ha ha ha

  45. NB only the good die young. Not moved yet, its the folding stuff, that cnut Stan has my share and isn’t answering my phone calls, wanker. As for Newsnow, perhaps you should make a site Fuckingnewsnow, sure to get more clicks 🙂
    Lastly the only question you asked the perfect date twice… Can i come inside?
    Having polluted your esteemed blog I’ll go for now.

  46. I tell you what, if Brexit does get the yes vote and I am dragged screaming and fighting to the channel border by the Gendarmes, the next day I’ll be first in the queue at the Islington Housing Office screaming that it’s their fucking fault and they should give me a flat in Highbury Square to the high standard that I am used too, and then at the fucking Dole office demanding they pay me all the income I’ve lost due to the fucking British idiots who voted out, and then I’ll be in the pub. 🙂

  47. I like to stoke the fire of doom with this Arsene quote before the WBA game ! hahaha

    “You do not want to play in a negative environment if we do we can still perform. We are responsible for the performance of the team and it is true that at the moment it is not a highlight but we have to take a distance with that. I hope in the next years Arsenal will always play in the top three and hopefully, people won’t get disenchanted and have to agree with less.”

  48. Do you realise that the combined ages of the cunts on here make us older than Jesus !…………………Gunnersorearse BC !.

    Nice to see Michael and his Irish charm back !.

  49. Isn`t it weird on here that because there are so many doomers, poor GN5 is classed as the bad guy !. hahaha

  50. Cockie, I don’t see GN5 as the bad guy, as always I see him as a supporter with a different perspective…… and you talk about yourself as a doomer, I’m not a fucking doomer, I sit very comfortably on the fence ha ha ha

  51. This is interesting, I’ve just tried to copy and paste the As Featured on NEWS NOW logo, but every time I click on it to COPY, it sends me to a PORN SITE….. I thought I would mention that for the benefit of Transplant and Cockie ha ha ha

  52. Arsene has said he will see out his contract and who can blame him !………………I can see 8 million reason he will never want to go and expect even more millions of reasons why he will probably sign a new contract…………again I dont blame him !
    Pay me £1 per abuse and I`d take the fucking job with pleasure !.

  53. Le Coq, here’s my take on that.

    Football is a sport that has many twists and turns and always has an unknown outcome, which is obviously hard for certain groups of people to grasp.

    Movies, Theater etc is where people go to be entertained so perhaps the moaners and groaners should reconsider how they spend their money. But it seems that many hardened doomers just don’t get it and they are bound and determined to prove themselves right by continuously believing that they should be entertained and that games should always have a happy ending.

    Sounds to me like they are going to live in eternal misery as happy endings occur in Hollywood not in Sports Arenas.

  54. Hi N5, as per usual my take on you being the bad guy is just lighthearted as you are a hero to me, not just because of your fantastic devotion to your daughter , but the thought of you wrestling naked with a grizzly is quite arousing !. 😆

  55. Le Coq, I fully appreciate that you were being humorous and I have no issue with that.

    I have issues with inane sarcasm being thrown at me for simply expressing a positive slant on doom.

    I can never do enough for my daughter – she deserves far better than that which I can provide. On some of my canoe trips we’ve come across black bears – who will sniff about your camps looking for food but fortunately we were always able to scare them away by various ways including making lots of noise – there’s only one outcome if they stay around – you lose – but that seldom occurs.

  56. NB I have the occasional peek at AA and it seems that it’s dwindled down to only the old guard. The principles seem to have lost interest.

  57. I still read the stuff on there and I`m confused as some still get away with what I would call near the mark stuff for there criteria , yes, you chas hahaha (when I say near the mark it`s nothing compared to my stuff and I`m not complaining, just dont get why some can do it and I cant !)…………….I mean, showing a photo of a skier named Andreas Wank is nothing bad !

  58. ha ha ha Cockie, I was e mailed and asked to stop using the name ‘Wet Willy’, when Fumbucker was allowed…. then the final straw was sneaky snide Rasputins underhanded sarcastic dig. I must confess, I did go over the top with my response but that’s me, I’d rather someone tell me honestly to my face that I’m an unintelligent cunt rather than do it in a snide way.

  59. Now if Arsene bought this lot I wouldn`t give a toss whether we won fuck all and would go nevery game just to hear the team announcer !.

  60. Cockie, Fanny Schmellar isn’t in the team 🙂 or Christian Fuchs…. perhaps they are on the bench ha ha

    I’ve just remembered, they deleted a photo of a product called BUM BUTTER…. ffs, it was a product for cyclists ha ha ha

  61. GN5, Ive really got under your skin haven’t I. You can barely make a single comment without some snidy little dig at me. Would you like me to send you my photo so you can throw darts at it? Or have you got a wax dolly to stick pins in? What a sad old man you are.

    Still you won’t read this will? You vowed to ignore my comments the other day.

    Keep on posting and keep venting your spleen, I’m sure doing so will eventually make you a better person.

  62. No idea `69er…………….is he actually banned ?………………curious !.

    Exercise ttime !.

  63. Come on Norfolk…. that’s way below the belt and you know it, the GunnersoreArse philosophy is friendly insults, like a simple “you cunt” or…. “you fucking arse stuffing wanker”. Or even, “you’re a fucking stinking pile of shit who doesn’t even deserve to live in a dung heap in the Australian outback”

  64. I reckon we should all start venting our anger towards the Spuds…… if you want to let it all out, aim it at those cunts, not each other. Remember, there isn’t gonna be a St Totts day this season, save the anger for that day and we can all use every expletive under the Highbury sun to insult the bastards. There’ll be a prize for the best and most creative and artistic insult ha ha ha

  65. It’s completely harmless 69er, he ignores my comments, he said so the other day, if I was serious about insulting him I could do much, much better.

    Purely in the interests of the blog I’ll undertake to ignore his petty little digs which after all have all the impact of a fruit fly in a head on collision with with a jumbo jet. 😀

    Are you doing a pre-match tomorrow? I won’t as I would have to include some unflattering quotes about our esteemed leader but I’ll look forward to reading yours.

    It’s time to uncorked a bottle Cotes du Rhone to go with tonight’s meal.

    A demain.

  66. Oh come on NG !…………………if you was going to do some unflattering quotes about Arsene ..or did you mean `69er ?………………..then put pen to paper as although I dont neccessary agree with it all, I do like reading it ! hahaha

  67. Just on another subject, I have a friend who lives in Muswell Hill and both her kids have now moved out, her daughter the last to go to University in Nottingham. Anyway, she’s decided that a three bedroom house is too big for her on her own and wants to sell and get a two bed flat in the Holloway / Tufnell Park area; So I said I’d do some searching for her on the internet…. well for fuck sake, I was shocked, a two bedroom flat will set you back between £400 and £500,000….. some of them are on the dodgy estates I used to frequent when I was younger. For instance, a two bedroom flat on the Market Road estate, just off Caledonian Road is now worth £450,000…. a flat in a converted pub where one of my mates used to be the landlord, in Caledonian Road…… £585,000.
    Holloway Road….. 2 bed flat over a fucking Curry House….. £425,000.
    Fucking mad….. anything under £250,000 are cash only

  68. It`s mad in London, `69er !……………8 years ago I had my place valued at £500.000 just before the market went down and looked at house`s around Roman Rd, East London just for curiousity and they were £500.000 as well. Next time I looked about a year ago, the same houses in Roman Rd were £1M !……my place has only just recovered to the same price as 8 years ago !
    To rub salt in the face I could have bought something in Roamn Rd when I first got married for £2000 !, but was too interested in spoorts cars !……what a cunt !.

  69. Cockie

    I had a 2 bedroom housing association flat on Victoria Park Road, overlooking the park in 1986, I was offered the option to buy it for £15,000….. Victoria Park Road flats now start at £700,000… you think you’re a cunt 🙂

  70. hahaha, you fiscal fools. I have three buy to lets. The first one is used to pay the first wifes mortgage and alimony, the second one is used to pay the 2nd wifes mortgage and alimony, though I do live in the loft and enjoy ready made meals, and the third is going to my eldest daughters university fees.

    Which makes me an absolute fucking cuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnttttttttttttt

  71. With one of my ex wives we had a flat in Tooting, not the best of areas in London and we sold it in 1991 for £79,000 to move to Brighton…. for fuck sake, Tooting is now the new Battersea….. that flat would now cost £800,000 plus.
    Interestingly, despite all the houses I’ve had with wives, a house in Normandy that an ex wife sold for £150,000, a house in Brighton that an ex wife sold for £350,000, I’ve ended up once more in a housing association flat in the South of France, right back where I fucking started….. who’s the cunt now ha ha

  72. When I think of my situation i feel like killing someone, usually myself. I had all the opportunities. The only one in my family who could do 4 sides of a rubick cube, looks good enough for advertising Argos toasters, and season tickets to the Arsenal.

    Now ime skint, have a cock that looks like a mango, and Totnumb are better than us.

    Weres that fucking rope?

  73. oh and I forgot, my french ex wife has a Provencale, 4 bedroom mansion of 300sq meters with swimming pool now worth €650,000 plus, and I’m in a fucking Housing Association Flat with fucking Arabs as neighbours ha ha ha…. so out of Transplant, Cockie and me….. who’s the biggest Cunt?

  74. And cunts like Kronke can spend $500 mille on a ranch and it doesn’t even make a dent in his fortune…. if Transplant, Cockie and me had been wise with our property prospects, we could have been the owners of the Arsenal and bought who we fucking wanted and won the league and CL for the last 10 seasons ha ha ha ha ha

    Searching for the razor blades

  75. hahahaha, look on the bright side 69, at least with your art your doing something you love. Besides, with your boozing, I wouldn’t be surprised if half the time you think your someone else whos loaded and sometimes angry, probably Idi Amin.

  76. Kelsey, trust me, with the amount of dickheads that walk out after 75 anyway, no one will notice the difference

  77. Kelsey, you’re just trying to stir the pot and get me to make an unsavory comment that will get me banned.

    By the way I was never banned from AA I just chose not to blog there due to something that I considered to be blatant censorship. I was always out spoken but never banned.

  78. GN5
    You’ll never be banned on this blog, the only person remotely close to being banned on here is Cockie, for posting photos of fucking ugly women showing their ugly fucking labias…. ha ha ha

  79. Right, ime off to ring the samaratans. Tell them theres an English geezer living in France with an African accent whos painting a portrait of a man jumping in an ex wifes £650k swimming pool. hahaha

  80. I cant blame anyone but myself…..and sports cars…..and massage parlours for my bad property decissions, but you two cunts !!!…………..ever heard of prenuptials ?… late mango cock and pisshead !.

  81. Brilliant Kesey !………….I shall walk in for free on 75 minutes and have all the fanny to mysel !…………..lets face it the women will still be putting their make-up on and powdering their fannies ……………….and I dont mean `69er and Stretch !.

  82. The problem for me Cockie….. I was never really interested in the money or the houses during the divorces… I was happy to let the Ex’s have it all ha ha…. you may call me a mug cunt, but believe me, I’m happier now than when I was with those women, truly happy 🙂 and fucking drunk ha ha

  83. Reef HunkGnaw
    You were trained by Spetsnaz. You ride around in a Jeep and your weapon of choice is an AA-12. You feel most comfortable in leathers. You’re out for justice. You eat all the bacon and eggs they have for breakfast. You love the great outdoors. Your best friend is your dog. You breed crocodiles for fun.

  84. I got Aristotle Acropolis

    Apparently I knacker my opponents out by doing a bit of Greek dancing then disturb them by claiming I don’t pay tax. In there knackered confusion I knock them out by smashing a plate on there head

  85. Steve Plamer come out as ………………………

    Rip McChunkyThighs

    You were trained by Spetsnaz. You ride around in a Humvee and your weapon of choice is nunchuks. You feel most comfortable in a ghillie suit. You’re out for retribution. You eat problems for breakfast. You love beer. Your best friend is your car. You breed rhinos for sport.

  86. Well results went our way last night (cough) and expect the lowest attendence ever at The Emirates tonight.

    If we mess this up we might finish eigth well at least out of Europe which would be a blessing.

    Tonight is officially squeaky bum time.

  87. Because we are steeped in tradition that doesn’t mean we should be in a time warp whilst others march on.I think there is a good arguement that we should be prudent but invest on quality a little more than recently.We will never be an Abramovich type club and I am sure most fans would agree with that.Unfortunately there is an arrogance by many that we have a devine right to be regarded as oneo f the top clubs in the world, yet recent stats show that despite restraints which ended abiut 4 or 5 years ago we are most probably at the lower end of the top 16 clubs in Europe,based on results.I honestly think a fresh face, a younger animated manager like Klopp would be ideal for us but I get the feeling that Kroenke is far removed from the real football world especially in the PL and is hesitant for change. If this season turns into a disaster then and only then AW might just resign but he will never be sacked.

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