6-3 6-0 5-1 Game, set and……. let the New Revolution begin!



Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog. Being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

Firstly, a match report from yesterdays Emirates Cup game between Arsenal FC and Benfica:

We fucking won 5-1, good game, let’s have more please. 

Now to the more important stuff:

 I have, myself, full confidence that if all do their duty, if nothing is neglected, and if the best arrangements are made, as they are being made, we shall prove ourselves once again able to defend our Island home, to ride out the storm of war, and to outlive the menace of tyranny, if necessary for years, if necessary alone. At any rate, that is what we are going to try to do.

It seems quite appropriate to use those words from Winston Churchill just before we start our new campaign. A war cry has gone up, echoing out from the Emirates Fortress across the land far and wide and reaching the ears of our bitter enemies. A war cry giving a very clear message and it is saying:

“We may have been battered and we may have lost a battle or two, but it is not over, the war continues and our army is being re-enforced at this very moment. We are preparing to come back stronger, well armed and more determined. So beware, mock us at your peril, for is it not said that an animal is at its most dangerous when wounded and cornered.”

Last season our pride was hurt, my pride was severely wounded with those three away defeats. If we had lost 1-0 or 2-1 it may have been less painful, but the shame and dishonour of the manner of those defeats was deeply felt with a feeling of humiliation and anger. I was ready to kill, I wanted to take up arms and march on Merseyside, West London and Manchester Central Arndale shopping centre and kill, kill, kill. Such was the pain and anger cursing through my veins. I wanted to see the whole North West of England with streets running with rivers of blood, dismembered bodies piled up high and burned in Lancashire town squares. I wanted to see the suburbs of West London put to the flame and destroyed, the Kings Road pillaged and demolished. I wanted to see Stamford Bridge taken apart brick by brick and thrown into the Thames, Mourinho strung up and hanging from a gallows outside of Fulham Broadway tube station, John Terry hung, drawn and quartered in Sloane Square, Samir Nasri guillotined in Manchester Piccadilly Plaza and Luis Suarez strapped to a chair and tortured by having his teeth pulled out one by one without anesthetic.

I wanted to see the sky Red with the flames of my anger, the streets Red with the blood of my enemies and the Red pride of North London restored. I wanted violent revenge, death and suffering imposed upon our enemies. And I want to see us inflict serious damage and distress upon out opponents in the coming season. Destroy and conquer, demean and humiliate. Draw blood and decapitate, nothing less.

Ah my friends, I jest, enough of jesting, enough! Violence solves nothing. It’s only a game of football is it not. Just 22 God-fearing men on a green English field kicking an inflated pigs bladder. Running amongst the meadow weed, daisy’s and the dandelions, laughing gayly with team mates, opponents and brethren, participating in a friendly sport where it is not the winning that counts but the participation, is that not the important thing?

Is it fuck my fine Gooner friends, is…… it……… FUCK!

I want revenge and I want blood. I want our Red and White New Model Army to be ruthless, determined and merciless, I want them to inflict the maximum of casualties, slow death and degradation upon all our enemies, be it minnow or giant, the weak or the strong. I want us to pull their pants down, grease them up and aim for fucking penetration with the maximum of pain and embarrassment. I want our enemies to leave the field at the end of the battle battered and humiliated, wishing they had never turned up. Take no prisoners!

The indignity of last seasons defeats have been analysed to death, so there is no need to examine them any further. Why suffer even more pain than absolutely necessary, BT Sport have kindly done that for us with their adverts. No, the most important thing is that we have reinforced our army and weaponry, we are preparing for a new campaign and we have sent out a very clear war cry, “We are back, we are stronger and we are ready.”  And as we step into the unknown and hope that fate smiles kindly upon us, let the battle commence………………….


Right time for a glass of wine and some spicy chorizo….. I hope you enjoyed your visit. Until the next time.

à bientôt

Giving a GunnersoreArse to our enemies…. grease, aim and penetrate! Every Sunday morning at 9am GMT. And on a nice cultured and artistic note, you can read my Arts Sunday supplement on page 2 here:  http://wp.me/p4PyIS-A

The Sunday Poll: Who will be the Arsenal top scorer 2014/15. (all competitions)

ha ha, after yesterdays game, how many will now choose Sanogo!



A drama of Fabreg-esque proportions: Betrayal and revenge.

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog. Being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

It’s interesting that on the day Fabregas joined Chelsea, I published on my blog a piece about loyalty and betrayal, total coincidence I’m afraid.

So did the prodigal son betray the Father or did the Father reject the son? On the internet, it has caused a debate of epic proportions amongst Arsenal fans. There couldn’t have been a better scenario for those who want Wenger out and from what I’ve read, the situation has even tested the most loyal of Wenger supporters. Cesc was our darling, when he left for Barcelona, despite the circumstances, he was given a fond farewell. His extra-marital affair with the Catalans was accepted and forgiven, it was in his DNA everyone believed. His chorizo was definately Spanish. But nearly everyone was agreed, if he wanted to return to the Emirates, that wouldn’t be a problem, we would welcome him back.

But now, has he truly betrayed us? He once said something like, “I will never play for another Premier League team”. But now he has gone back on his word and started an affair  with Maureen………. that slut who runs a whorehouse for a Russian gangster in the backwoods of SW6. This infidelity is really testing the Gooners fondness for Fabregas. We will never know the whole truth, but from recent reports it would seem that Wenger rejected the chance to buy him back. But did Cesc then go to Maureen out of some form of revenge?  Or was it his only other option? Was it a stab in the back because his Father rejected him? He had other offers apparently, “I considered all the other offers very carefully and I firmly believe that Chelsea is the best choice,”  We can assume they were from Man United, Man City and maybe Liverpool, possibly a couple of larger european clubs as well. In the eyes of the fans, would any of those have been better? But ultimately he chose Maureen, the bitchy one who has been the most vehement critic against Cescs’ adoptive Father. The  crazy one who at every opportunity makes snide remarks about Wenger. Will Maureen now poison Cescs’ mind against his Father, will he be saying things like, “Wenger rejected you but I took you into my bed, I have faith in you, not Arsene, he’s a loser”.

Fabregas has now gone on to say he has something to prove in the Premier League. What could we read into that? Does he mean he would like to prove himself in a PL winning team, or is it more sinister? is it a threat against his Father Arsene Wenger. Does Cesc mean to stab him in the back in an act of footballing vengeance for rejecting him? I wonder if he really thought  Arséne would accept him back with open arms, saying that all is forgiven?

The most pain is obviously being felt by Arsenal fans, the feelings of betrayal by Fabregas and the anger against Wenger for not getting him back will continue well into the new season. What reactions can we expect when Fabregas first comes back to the Emirates in the blue shirt of Chelsea? Will he be welcomed home because we have fond memories of him in the Red and White or will the daggers be out? Visiting Chelsea fans are obviously going to taunt the home support and add fuel to the fire. Most Arsenal fans are now wishing and hoping that Cesc doesn’t repeat his Arsenal form at Chelsea, hoping that Maureens tactics will not suit him.

What is going through Cescs’ head at the moment we can only summise, is he thinking, “that son of a bitch Wenger, always told me he would welcome me home but when it came down to it, he went back on his word!”  What is going through Arsénes head, “I told him not to leave us in the first place so now he can go fuck himself!” Who knows, the mind has some strange ways of reacting to situations of betrayal. What we can be sure of, these thoughts are definately going through the minds of Arsenal supporters because it’s being blasted all over twitter and the blogosphere. This situation is not over by a long shot. The debate will continue to rage into next season and beyond. If Chelsea manage to win the league next season with Cescs’ help, just pipping the Gunners to first place, perhaps with a few goals or decisive passes by Fabregas against us, who knows what the reaction will be towards Wenger for not buying him back.

From my perspective, I hope it doesn’t pan out like that, I sincerely hope we win the league of course, but I would hope also that Cesc does well at Chelsea. It’s football, players have a choice where they play and who knows what incentives Chelsea offered him, perhaps far too much for Arsenal to compete. And furthermore, Wenger had the balance of the current team to consider. However, for many fans Arséne has now put himself clearly between the cross-hairs, failure to bring in the required reinforcements needed for next season and the backlash over the Cesc situation could be substantial and nasty. And furthermore, over the last two days there have been rumours that Santi wants to go back to Spain. If he leaves and the opportunity to get Cesc back was rejected by Wenger, the fallout could be huge. Personally, I think Cesc has made a huge mistake by going to Chelsea, I don’t think Maureen will be able to get Cescs chorizo cooking! I don’t think Cesc will be able to find Maureens ‘G’ spot! It won’t be long before a seperation is on the cards and the bitch will be throwing him out of the house and Fabregas will have to find another lover.

I go back to my last post about fan loyalty, I don’t think we can expect players to have the same passionate loyalty to a club as we do. Money and circumstances play a big role in a players career. Cesc has said, “They (Chelsea) have an amazing squad of players and an incredible manager. I am fully committed to this team and I can’t wait to start playing,”  We probably heard him say similar about the Arsenal and Wenger. He probably said it about Barca. I wonder if in the future, if Barcelona decide they want him back in Spain, would we then hear Fabregas saying once again, “Barca are in my blood, they are in my DNA and I want to go back home”. Players can be as fickle as the fans. It’s no different from infidelity and love affairs, you leave your spouse for someone else and a few months later your wife says to you, “I forgive you, I’ll have you back, please come home” and you do, you return. But for how long, because when your mistress phones you a couple of months after and says, “I love you, I want you, you’re the best lover I’ve ever had”……. you leave your wife again and return to your mistress. It’s human nature and the only difference for football players is they are not being offered sex and love, they are being offered millions of pounds.


Right, time for a glass of wine and some chorizo….. hope you enjoyed your visit. Until the next time.

à bientôt

Don’t forget, GunnersoreArse still goes out over the blogoshere every Sunday morning at 9am GMT. I had a slight blip this week, posting on Thursday….. but I’ve spoken with my psychiatrist and she has put me on some new medication, so I’m back to normal now.