Welcome to the GunnersoreArse Blog. Being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.
As Arsenal fans, we have all been worried about our players picking up serious injuries in Brazil. But there are other Eden Hazards and dangers of being an international footballer. Even more so when they play a world cup competition somewhere like Brazil. Violence and the crime rate in South America gets a bad press, but many people have already been Arjen Robbened and it’s advisable to always be on the lookout for Igor Akinfeevs, keep your Van Purses in a safe place and only carry small amounts of Cashley Cole on you at any one time.
In Brazil there are also health problems caused by food and water. Contaminated Frank Lebouef, undercooked Bacary Lasagna and contaminated non-drinking water can lead to Delhi Dembélé, Marco diarReus, Alex Salmonella, Carlton Cholera, chronic irritable Gareth Bowel syndrome and Septic Bladder, causing severe Mezut Özillness, with Per Mertesicker all over the floor and leaving a Kevin de Bruyne Lionel Messi in the WC!
Tropical diseases can be spread by the Gerard Piqué of the mosquito, these include Malaria Balotelli and Cristian Tello fever which are common throughout Brazil and can be fatal.
On top of all those health risks, players are also being warned not to go out looking for Loose Van Girls for a piece of Samuel Umtitti and Rod Fanni. The risks of catching something nasty in Brazil like Aids Adebayor, Ole Gonorrhea Solskjaer and Hepatitus Bramble are seriously high just for dipping your chorizo into some local samba sauces. Players are therefore being advised to keep their Wilfried Bony in their trousers, (With a special warning to the French team). Instead players are being told to stay in their hotel rooms and have a Louri Jerkhov instead. And for those players who are on the other side of off-side, who wear short shirts like Larse Bender, preferring Roman Weidenfellers and some Lee Bum-young, there is the added danger of suffering from a painful GunnersoreArse.
So if the Arsenal players currently in Brazil can avoid all these dangers and also return home un-injured, then for me it would have been a good World Cup. But in general it has been a very exciting first week to the tournament. The teams shining at the moment are Germany, Holland and France plus the surprise underdogs Costa Rica, Chile and Ghana for their heroic game against the Germans last night. There are already two potential best goals of the competition, Van Persie against Spain and Cahill against Holland. Out of the ex-Arsenal players having a good World Cup, Gervinho needs to be mentioned. Disappointments so far, Ronaldo and Diego Costa. Ronaldo probably due to carrying a knee injury but Costa because he just wasn’t good enough, we won’t get a chance to see Costa improve, because like Spain, his WC is over. Argentina have also been a disappointment, with a front three of Aguero, Messi and Higuain I was expecting better. England turned up but the naivity of team selection and tactics could still see Woy out of a job. My dark horse prediction of Belgium getting to the final started off slowly but there is still room for them to improve. So far there have been some excellent games, attacking play being the tactic of the day, lets hope it continues all the way to the final.
Premier League fixtures 2014/15
On Wednesday the 2014/15 fixture list was published. What delights can we hopefully look forward to………
Dates to be cheerful: Part II.
Aug 23rd 2014 – Away Everton: An early test, second league game of the season. Can we prove that there has been improvement on last seasons game at Goodison Park.
Oct 4th 2014 – Away Chelsea: Last years memory of Wengers 1000th game needs to be avenged, nothing less. If any game this season is going to show that AW has learned from last season, this is the one. Plus we’ll have the joy of seeing Fabregas playing in blue.
Dec 20th 2014 – Away Liverpool: Twenty minutes of hell, that’s what I remember from last seasons match. I was watching the game in a bar and I was transfixed on the large TV screen, looking at it in horror as the Liverpool forwards ripped us apart and we fell apart.
Jan 17th 2015 – Away Man City: Positive thinking, we scored three goals in the corresponding game last season.
May 16th 2015 – Away Man Utd: In a season when Man Utd were at their weakest for several seasons, we failed to take advantage. That old chestnut – fear factor- took a hold and we didn’t have the dangloids.
No points from any of those games last season and a total of 21 goals in the deficit column. If we can get 6/8 points from the first four of those games then that will be a vast improvement and show the credentials needed for a serious title challenge. The penultimate game at Old Trafford could be very interesting. What game are you looking forward to see next season?
Right, time for a glass of wine and some chorizo…… hope you enjoyed your visit. Until the next time.
Every Sunday morning at 9am GMT. Don’t miss your dose of GunnersoreArse. Lubrication optional.