Arsenals 3rd FA Cup trophy is still a target

Arsenal progress to the last sixteen after narrowly beating a good Burnley side. Goals from Chambers and Sanchez booked our place in the next round but despite dominating the game, it was a nervy last 20 minutes as the Clarets pushed for an equalizer.

A typical Cup tie, the game was contested at a frantic pace. Our second goal was one of beauty as we broke out of defence and with a quick passing (seven passes) counter attack the ball eventually arrived at the feet of Sanchez who calmly scored. It could have finished 3-1 when Burnley were in full attack mode near the end of the game and a break sent Walcott bombing forward with just the Burnley keeper to beat, but he fluffed his lines.

Wenger had made several changes to the side which lost to the Chavs, and Ozil and Ramsey were conspicuous by their absence. However, Coquelin, Chambers, Gibbs, Iwobi and the new boy, Elneny, all had good games, with special mention to Iwobi and the Egyptian. Iwobi was assured in midfield and his passing was accurate and precise. He really would be a better option than Walcott at the moment.

The Egyptian covered a lot of turf during the game, he seemed to be everywhere and showed that his fitness is similar to Sanchez. He tried a bit too hard at times but that’s understandable, he obviously wanted to make an impression on his debut and nearly did on a couple of occasions with shots from outside the box.

Elneny looks as if he will be a good addition to the team, in fact he looked as if he was made to wear the red and white, he definitely looked the part. The stats say he had the most touches of the ball than any other player (100), and had a 96% completion rate, which shows how he got involved in the game.

It was good to see Le Coq back in the side, in the first half he was clearly getting acclimatised to his first full match after a period injured, but in the second half his confidence became more assured and he had a good game.

So we go into the pot this evening for the last sixteen draw. There are still a few premiership sides which it would be good to avoid, the two Manchester clubs, Crystal Palace, Liverpool or West Ham, Watford, WBA, Everton and Chelsea if they both win today and of course, the wankers from N17.

We are number 3 in the draw…… and games to be played the weekend 19-22 February. Here is the full list for the last sixteen:

1 West Bromwich Albion or Peterborough United
2 Leeds United
3 Arsenal
4 Manchester United
5 Reading
6 Liverpool or West Ham United
7 Manchester City
8 Shrewsbury Town
9 Watford
10 Carlisle United or Everton
11 Crystal Palace
12 Blackburn Rovers
13 AFC Bournemouth
14 Tottenham Hotspur
15 Hull City
16 MK Dons or Chelsea
Just before I conclude todays report, another Arsenal player on loan, Akpom scored a hat-trick for Hull yesterday. Well done Chuba.

 

 

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The Burnley witch hunt… let’s hang the bastards.

 

FA Cup day…. and we’ve got something to defend and a chance to make history. Just as they made history in Pendle, near Burnley, in 1612. One of the most famous witch trials in English History. Twelve were accused of murdering ten people by witchcraft, of the eleven who went to trial, nine women and two men (one had already died in prison), ten were found guilty and executed by hanging, one was found not guilty. Can’t explain why one was found not guilty, not in those days, everyone was found fucking guilty.

What else is interesting about Burnley, well it’s in Lancashire, so Lancashire hotpot is famous…..

and rightly so, it’s bloody yummy

Lancashire women are hearty and welcoming, they like to cuddle you and surround you with their large ample breasts and warm bodies and feed you their Lancashire Hot Pot…… bloody yummy.

 

Bury Black Pudding, created when you had to use up every single part of a pig, so the blood was cooked as well….. Bloody yummy.

And then there are Eccles cakes, full of currents and baked with puff pastry…… bloody yummy.

So what about our opponents, Burnley FC, nicknamed the ‘Clarets’, perhaps after the Black Pudding. Founded in 1882 and one of the founder members of the Football league in 1888, their home ground has been Turf Moor since 1883. They’ve been League Champions twice, way back in the dark ages and won the FA Cup in 1914 when every other player was off at the Front fighting for King and Country.

They did however, reach the quarter finals of the European Cup in 1961. They were quite famous in the 50’s and 60’s for being dead ball specialists and developing the unknown concept of ‘Total Football, which made them one of the more attacking sides during that period.

And don’t forget all the inbreeding that went on up there in Lancashire, here’s an example from 1905, a photo of two Burnley supporting brothers….. their father was their uncle and their mother was their sister and it’s recorded that she was their aunt too.

Furthermore, it still goes on, as this headline from the Burnley Daily Herald proves:

CCTV APPEAL: Man seen touching himself and making kissing noises at young girls in Burnley town centre.

But where are Burnley FC now? They’re in the Championship, somewhere near the top and doing well, in fact, they could even be promotion candidates. Last week they thrashed Derby 4-1 and are on a good run of form.

Do we have to be careful today? They are quite capable of causing a Cup upset, Wenger needs to field a strong side if we are to continue our march towards a third FA Cup trophy in a row and make history.

Who do we have available? Sanchez and Özil are fit, it looks as if Le Big Coq will be fit, I hope Cech plays but there are rumours that Ospina will be in the team and I’m sure our new chap from Morocco will get a try out today as well. The BFG won’t play because of his red card so Paul Easter will be included next to Kosser, Gibbs may come in for Monreal but Bellerin has to play because we don’t have anyone at the moment to deputize for him.

Up front, your guess is as good as mine, take Giroud, Walcott, the Ox, Campbell and Iwobi, put their names in a hat and pull out two.

So what are our chances? I don’t fucking know, I’m not a football bollocks expert! I prefer to post black and white photos of naked women, get drunk and have a fucking laugh.

I’m 100% sure that there will be a result though.

It could end up two ways, we thrash them and go through easy peesy, or they cause a cup upset and my dream of us making history goes down the drain just like the blood of the witches in Pendle in 1612. Let’s just hope they haven’t put a spell on the referee or offered him a free lifetime supply of Black pudding and ample bodied Lancashire women.

Come on you fucking Gunners.

The Sore Arse Soapbox

Carl Jenkinson gets returned….. crocked

I’ve read in the news that young Carl has been injured and will be out for the rest of the season. Apparently he has been returned to us for his rehabilitation and joins the already crowded treatment room at London Colney.

So he’s had half a season with the Hammers, he’s scored a couple of goals, got a few yellow cards and one red and I think he conceded a couple of penalties and got one own goal. He’s played 1228 minutes in total in the Premier League and has been a useful player for West Ham helping them to maintain a position just out of the CL places.

With Debuchy probably going before the end of January Jenkinson was always an option to recall to act as cover at RB, but now he’s not available for the rest of the season. What happens, do the Arsenal get compensation? Do West Ham contribute to rehabilitation costs?

No matter what the financial implications, we end up with a squad player out injured and if Debuchy goes we will be without adequate cover for Bellerin, so I hope Wenger gets someone in before the transfer window closes on Monday. I would be surprised if the French FB doesn’t go, it’s mean mentioned several times that he wants 1st team football and he isn’t getting it at Arsenal.

I’m not sure why, but this situation with Carl has really annoyed me, he would have been adequate cover for RB so the urgency to find a replacement for Debuchy wouldn’t have been an issue, but West Ham have benefitted and we then get him back injured. Now we have to find a suitable replacement if the Frenchman leaves.

It highlights the inadequacies in our recruitment of new players, it’s happened this season with Welbeck unavailable and having just Giroud, Walcott and Campbell as our front three choices and Sanchez has shown that he is not ‘unbreakable’. Now we’ll be left with just Chambers as our RB cover.

It’s not good enough…… Wenger should be planning in advance, he should have done all this in the summer but now there is probably a panic as the TW comes to an end and we are short of two crucial players.

 

Ranieri to replace Wenger…

 

Would this be a good replacement for our best ever manager in the history of the Arsenal?

When you think about it, Ranieri has taken a mediocre team with just two exceptional players to the top of the Premier League, (just like Wenger) and they are now being deemed possible champions. He’s a likeable bloke, he’s good with the media and he seems to be able to get a fairly average team working well together, just like Wenger does with Arsenal. He also buys the team pizza if they win…. so frugal as well.

He could be the perfect fit for the Gunners, he deploys attacking tactics, doesn’t go berserk with buying overpriced players, seems to be level headed and sensible, and furthermore, he is a couple of years younger than Wenger and would maybe like the stability offered by a top PL team, although if you think about it, at the moment he manages a top PL team!

Just some thoughts on who would be a possible successor to the great Arsène Wenger.

What do other Sore Arses think? Am I going along the right route or am I totally mad?

This Community Shield will be more than just a Friendly….

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog, being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

The Arsenal blog for Gunners who have strayed from the path of righteousness.

I know people say that the Community Shield is just a friendly and nothing should be assumed from the result, but we are talking Chavs here, can you really expect me to accept it as a game that will not have consequences for the rest of the season? Maureen has dominated in the exchanges with Wenger and now is perhaps the time to reverse that trend.

Psychologically, todays game is going to have far-reaching effects. I don’t envisage either manager taking the game lightly, both will field a strong XI and go all out to win. The premiership this coming season is going to be between these two teams so todays result will be an indication as to who finishes top. So not just a friendly.. it’s gonna be war!

On team news Wenger has stated that Ospina was back in training on Tuesday, Alexis will be back this weekend but Welbeck is still unavailable through injury. So for our attack today we have Giroud, Ozil, Oxlade and Walcott available, Akpom however, has gone out on loan. Trying to second guess Arsénes team selection I would go with this:

submit football lineup

Subs: Ospina or Martinez, Monreal, Paul Easter, Oxlade, Wilshere, Chambers, Bellerin.

That’s a strong XI and capable of beating Chelsea on their day. Will today be that day?

It’s now 13 games in which Arséne has failed to beat the ‘mouthy one’ so it’s about time to alter that statistic don’t you think. That’s why this game is definitely not a friendly and why both managers will go all out to win.

Maureen on Sunday’s game: ‘It’s not a friendly, it’s more than that, but it’s less than a Premier League match.’  He has even suggested that he will play Costa, which goes to show how he is viewing the game.

Arsène Wenger also admits that Sunday’s Community Shield against Chelsea “will not be a friendly”.

Wenger hopes his side will maintain their momentum against the champions, but warned against reading too much into the result.

“We have to accept that every game is decided and judged as definite,” he said. “But you know that in real life it is not like that. The tribunal is out there and will draw conclusions from Sunday.”

From my point of view, it will be a strong psychological advantage for the winners. Whether that will translate in to who goes on to win the league is debatable, history tells us that it’s not necessarily the case, however, after beating City in the Community Shield last season we went on to get 4 points from our two League games against them.

So any Gooners out there who think todays game is a friendly and not a ‘must win game’, please think again. There is a lot at stake and it should be treated as a serious game. By thinking it’s a friendly you are doing a disservice to Wenger who I’m sure is taking it very seriously… and you know why, because it’s against Maureen.

So drop your trousers Maureen and bend over, we have the grease ready and are aiming for deep penetration.

_______________________________________oOo_____________________________________

Fantasy Premier League: 

If anyone is interested in a little bit of Fantasy, I’ve set up a Fantasy Premier League, it’s the League of Smegs and the code is: 165030-44791. Just go to the Fantasy Premier League site, log in, choose your team and then go to leagues and choose private league and type in the code. Just for fun amongst friends and I,m sure Cockie and Transplant would have fun choosing their team name. But beware, they have rules about anything offensive.

Right, time for a glass of wine and some spicy chorizo whilst I search a bit of smut.

GunnersoreArse…… resurrected!

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog… being blogged 918.74 kms (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

Well here we are then, smooth as ever!

When I decided to stop doing this blog a couple of months ago it wasn’t because I’d given up, it was purely based on the fact I had a shit internet connection and wasn’t able to maintain a connection long enough to write a 800-1000 word article. However, I now have a decent network wi-fi connection and have decided to bring the Weekly Smut infested Arsenal Tabloid back to life. I sincerely hope that the few faithful followers and commentators who contributed before, return to enliven the blog with their humour, intellect and photos of naked women bearing their breasts.

So the new season will be upon us in three weeks time, but before the home game against West Ham we have the small matter of the Emirates Cup and then the Community Shield game against the Chavs.  Will this be the opportunity to break the Maureen hoodoo? With the talk currently emanating from the mouths of some of our players, the title could be ours this season, which would mean we have to beat the Chavs, City and United along the way. Old Petra, 33 in years and 33 on his back is being highlighted as one reason for such optimism, could one player make such a difference? Could he instil more confidence in the defence and the team in general? could he possibly keep more clean sheets than TPIG and Ospina?

All speculation but enjoyable none the less. Will be strange however, to see that helmet in the Arse!

We have lifted our first piece of silverware in the last few days, the Asia Cup is now in the trophy room alongside our two recent FA Cups. Only friendlies of course but the game against Everton was more of a premier League game than just a friendly and we put in a good shift, with the pundits being surprised at how well prepared we looked.

So what other speculation and rumour is doing the rounds in the gossip mags and on the blogs. Too many to even contemplate on here, though the need for backup to Le Coq au Vin is high on the list of priorities and the need for another striker who could bag us 25-30 goals in a season is not far behind on that list. Personally I’d like to see Lacazette come to the Emirates, not a glamorous £60m curly haired male model type player, but instinctive in front of goal, has a lethal right foot and is not afraid to take a punt from 30 yards. I like him!

You can keep your Cavanis, Foulcows, Benzemas and Higuans, all over-priced and over-rated….. but give me Alexandre Lacazette and I would be a happy bunny, 27 goals in 33 league games in Ligue 1 is not to be sniffed at that’s for sure. He reminds me of Thierry and I’m sure he has watched loads of videos of our Arsenal legend to improve his attacking play. And speaking of Thierry, he got some press time this week saying.

“I still think they (Arsenal) need four players to get closer to Chelsea.”

What four players he didn’t elaborate, nor did he mention in what positions we needed these four players! So read nothing into it, just the media having a laugh.

Onto other teams news, Liverpool have got rid of Sterling for…… £49m, just couldn’t believe that. City has bought a dud me thinks, another Andy Carrol maybe? Makes me wonder how much our Theo would be worth in today’s market?

Loo is Van Girl apparently has £300m plus burning a hole in his trousers pocket, to spend on idiotic purchases and I sincerely think that he will blow it all on rubbish. Sniddyland and Schwienkopf have already been purchased, one is past it and the other really hasn’t proved much at Southampton, wasted money I think.

Stoke are aiming high in the transfer window and they have a mission statement, ‘Europe or bust’. Ha ha ha, best joke I’ve heard this year. Chavs seem to be fairly quiet on the transfer front, Foulcow on loan and possibly Bergovic to replace Petra, but nothing else seems to be happening in the wastelands of SW6.

And lets just take a look into the deep shadows of N17, a new stadium planned, or should I say toilet! And because it will apparently hold a few hundred more fans than the Emirates they are spouting that it is bigger… bloody twats. My advice is don’t hold your breath and if it does finally get built, look on the bright side, just remember how our trophy winning days were put on hold after the expense of building the Emirates, which probably means that when the new Shite Hart Lane construction is complete, the Spuds will probably be relegated. There were reports yesterday that the Spuds request to use Wembley during the construction of their new toilet had been turned down and now there could be a possibility of them sharing our hallowed ground in N5. I sincerely hope this is a joke rumour, no way do we want them anywhere near the Ems, let them play in Milton Keynes or share the Olympic stadium with West Ham, much more appropriate.

Back to more interesting stuff… The Gunners. It would seem from all reports that our best signing this year has not been a player, but a Paddy physio. Some are suggesting that he will be able to perform miracles and keep all our players fit, all of the time and all together. The last time I read about someone like that it was in the Bible. Well if he could win ze World Cup for ze Germans perhaps he can win the CL for us!

So three weeks to go, a period where we are all full of hope and optimism (well most of us anyway), a new season and a renewed push for honours. Although I would love to see us win the Champions League, as much for Monsieur Vengers sake as much as for my own desires, I still think that that will be a bridge too far with our current players. However, and I seriously mean this, I can envisage us doing the League and Cup double, and in the process making history with a third FA Cup in a row….. now wouldn’t that get up the noses of Van Pervy, Nasri and co.

Meanwhile, over in Russia… our Frimpong has been sanctioned for giving the finger to fans who were shouting racist abuse at him.

Ufa general director Shamil Gazizov said his club would not be calling for Spartak to be punished, describing it as an “unfortunate incident”.

“There were people who could have shouted things. These are emotions which go away after the game. We are partners with the red and whites and are on good terms,” he said.

“What Frimpong did was wrong. Sometimes you even have to hold back the tears and just put up with it.”

But in March former head of Russian football Vyacheslav Koloskov said too much is made of racism in the country and has also questioned why monkey chants are assumed to be racist. Do these people live in a bubble?

This is where quite a few black players will be playing in the 2018 World Cup! No wonder they are thinking of boycotting it.

Final business of the day: The blog is as before, everything is acceptable unless the Editorial team or one of the contributors/commentators says differently. Smut is allowed but keep it within reason (you wankers out there know who you are). No close up photos of Labia or crutch parts! The blog will continue to be published as before, every Sunday morning at or around 9am BST (Illness, natural disasters, civil unrest, world war, alcohol abuse, police arrest or imprisonment permitting). Come back guys and girls, to the warm glow of a Gunners Sore Arse, contribute and make your Arsenal life more interesting, you know it makes sense.

Language problems could cause Arsenal FA Cup exit.

Four candles? Nah, Fork Handles…… Handles for Forks!

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog. Being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

Why does Wenger have to be so honest? Why does he have to tell the media all his intimate thoughts? Why did he feel a need to tell the press that Paulista Gabriel could be a problem in our defence because he doesn’t understand a word of English?

If he plays in the back four today, surely Middlesborough will target an area where they know communication between our players could be a problem. Koscielny shouts to Gabriel (in his French broken English) “hey Gabby, get over to the left and take their centre forward”, and Gabriel moves backwards putting the whole ‘Boro forward line onside to score their first goal. Monreal shouts in his shaky English accent tinged with Spanish, ” Gabby, cover me, I’m going forward”, and Gabriel moves towards the right back instead and the left side is left uncovered and ‘Boro score their 2nd goal. The big Coq says to Gabriel in his Cockney French accent, “Gabby, stay back I’ll go up for the corner,  cover for me”, but instead Gabriel goes up for the corner as well, leaving the defence lacking in players when ‘Boro storm forward on the counter and score their 3rd goal. And so, Arsenal, the FA Cup holders go out of the cup because one player cannot understand a word of English.

If the FA Cup back line today is Chambers, Koscielny, Gabriel and Monreal, poor old Paulista will have to comprehend English spoken by an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Spaniard. I suppose Nacho could speak spanish to the Brazilian, or do they speak Portuguese in Brazil? And if at some point if the Big Fucking German has to come on and play alongside the Brazilian………Chaos and confusion!

Wenger has said that Gabriel’s poor English could cost his side goals.

“When you don’t speak English and you don’t understand ‘Come out, come back, right, left’, it is a problem for a defender,” Wenger said.

“You need to know the key words. Offside. Referee. Foul.” and he said further, “If you mix ‘going forwards’ with ‘going backwards’, it can cost you.”

Language barriers can be a source of confusion. Take it from me, having lived in another country with a different language for over fifteen years. Some embarrassing and awkward situations can arise, I’ve experienced it. However, could it cause problems in our defence? Furthermore, if the manager thinks it’s a problem and doesn’t put Gabriel in the side, how long will that be for? How long will it take the Brazilian to learn enough English to enable him to play without a communication breakdown?

Middlesborough are not going to be a push over. They are riding high in the Championship and are likely candidates to move into the Premiership next season. Do we really want to introduce a non- English speaking centre back into such an important game? A game that if we win propels us towards the final and retaining the FA Cup.

I wonder at what level he is currently? I assume he can say “yes” and “no”, and probably “Thank You” and “Please”. He may even have got to the serious level of, “I like you” and ” What’s your name?”. I’m sure Coq au Vin has taught him how to say, “Shut the fuck up”. And perhaps Giroud has taught him to roll on the floor with his arm in the air, shouting ” Ref… foul”. However, will he understand something shouted at him in the heat of the moment, in a period of sustained pressure and confusion?

“Paul Easter, get back you fucking idiot” (put in there French, German, Spanish, Chilean or English accent as appropriate) and barely audible with the Emirates crowd making a hell of a noise. He’ll have no chance.

I jest of course, I don’t think it will be problem at all. He’s a professional, he’s played at the highest level and he knows how to play at Centre Back.

What do you think? Should he play despite lacking the fundamentals of the English language? Is it a risk worth taking? Or am I just falando besteira?

OK , le temps pour un verre de vin et certains chorizo ​​épicé, j’espère que vous avez apprécié votre visite … jusqu’à la prochaine fois .

à bientôt

GunnersoreArse, an Arsenal Sunday supplement to out do all Sunday supplements. Struggling for readers and comments but never forgetting it’s obligations to keep Gooners informed and amused. In other words you bastards, I’m fucking trying.