Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog. Being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.
Why does Wenger have to be so honest? Why does he have to tell the media all his intimate thoughts? Why did he feel a need to tell the press that Paulista Gabriel could be a problem in our defence because he doesn’t understand a word of English?
If he plays in the back four today, surely Middlesborough will target an area where they know communication between our players could be a problem. Koscielny shouts to Gabriel (in his French broken English) “hey Gabby, get over to the left and take their centre forward”, and Gabriel moves backwards putting the whole ‘Boro forward line onside to score their first goal. Monreal shouts in his shaky English accent tinged with Spanish, ” Gabby, cover me, I’m going forward”, and Gabriel moves towards the right back instead and the left side is left uncovered and ‘Boro score their 2nd goal. The big Coq says to Gabriel in his Cockney French accent, “Gabby, stay back I’ll go up for the corner, cover for me”, but instead Gabriel goes up for the corner as well, leaving the defence lacking in players when ‘Boro storm forward on the counter and score their 3rd goal. And so, Arsenal, the FA Cup holders go out of the cup because one player cannot understand a word of English.
If the FA Cup back line today is Chambers, Koscielny, Gabriel and Monreal, poor old Paulista will have to comprehend English spoken by an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Spaniard. I suppose Nacho could speak spanish to the Brazilian, or do they speak Portuguese in Brazil? And if at some point if the Big Fucking German has to come on and play alongside the Brazilian………Chaos and confusion!
Wenger has said that Gabriel’s poor English could cost his side goals.
“When you don’t speak English and you don’t understand ‘Come out, come back, right, left’, it is a problem for a defender,” Wenger said.
“You need to know the key words. Offside. Referee. Foul.” and he said further, “If you mix ‘going forwards’ with ‘going backwards’, it can cost you.”
Language barriers can be a source of confusion. Take it from me, having lived in another country with a different language for over fifteen years. Some embarrassing and awkward situations can arise, I’ve experienced it. However, could it cause problems in our defence? Furthermore, if the manager thinks it’s a problem and doesn’t put Gabriel in the side, how long will that be for? How long will it take the Brazilian to learn enough English to enable him to play without a communication breakdown?
Middlesborough are not going to be a push over. They are riding high in the Championship and are likely candidates to move into the Premiership next season. Do we really want to introduce a non- English speaking centre back into such an important game? A game that if we win propels us towards the final and retaining the FA Cup.
I wonder at what level he is currently? I assume he can say “yes” and “no”, and probably “Thank You” and “Please”. He may even have got to the serious level of, “I like you” and ” What’s your name?”. I’m sure Coq au Vin has taught him how to say, “Shut the fuck up”. And perhaps Giroud has taught him to roll on the floor with his arm in the air, shouting ” Ref… foul”. However, will he understand something shouted at him in the heat of the moment, in a period of sustained pressure and confusion?
“Paul Easter, get back you fucking idiot” (put in there French, German, Spanish, Chilean or English accent as appropriate) and barely audible with the Emirates crowd making a hell of a noise. He’ll have no chance.
I jest of course, I don’t think it will be problem at all. He’s a professional, he’s played at the highest level and he knows how to play at Centre Back.
What do you think? Should he play despite lacking the fundamentals of the English language? Is it a risk worth taking? Or am I just falando besteira?
OK , le temps pour un verre de vin et certains chorizo épicé, j’espère que vous avez apprécié votre visite … jusqu’à la prochaine fois .
GunnersoreArse, an Arsenal Sunday supplement to out do all Sunday supplements. Struggling for readers and comments but never forgetting it’s obligations to keep Gooners informed and amused. In other words you bastards, I’m fucking trying.