The Silence of the Stans……

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse Blog. Being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

Today we have a guest post from the Cockie Monster. Taken (nicked) from the comments section this week. It was so funny it had to be posted again.

I sit here looking out of my window watching my puppy run about outside with some of my naked Lesbanians………hold on a sec` !……..if my puppy is outside…….who the f**k is sniffing my arse and licking my balls ?………phew !….it`s OK…… I sat on the false teeth that the bastard VCC sent to me !, the shiny f**kers are smiling at me, they are however not as shiny as Terry Mancini Teeth Transplant`s ones !. F**k me, they are so bright, that an alien on a planet in the Caninus Testiclus Solar system in our galaxy looks up to the night sky and says ….”Daddy, isn`t that the brightest star in the Universe ? “…..”No Jabba, that is some Bastards f**king teeth from the Syrupus Minus System, just past where we sent a probe up to Uranus ! “.

Today bastards, I shall try and sit on the fence and be neutral in a look at the bastard Kroenke and give you an insight in to why he is a tight Khunt and why most importantly he has no vision and doesn’t see !.

Basically it all boils down to him being a slap head !. If truth be known, it`s not all his fault as he is just a victim like many, of the discrimination of syrups wearers and comb overs, which only recently ended with the newly introduced technology of transplants!
A brief history will give you some idea. First of all, it was all started by cave women, not cave men, who used to drag their men into the cave by their hair. Only the men with strong follicles survived baldness !. Since then throughout history, there has been documentation of the plight of the Comb overs and syrupers and also of the great explorers looking for cures etc`.
From the ancient Greeks we had Jason and the Argonauts in search of the Golden Syrup to the native Americans who were known to be the first makers of syrups with drive – through scalping. Wigwam`s were the first syrup factories and the word toupee comes from the word teepee, a place similar to a hairdressers where rugs were fitted.
In culture and art, there can be found references in the great writings, for example….”Friends, Romans and countrymen…lend me your hair !”…….”Toupee or not toupee….that is the question !”………  “Is this a dodgy syrup I see before me !” ……. “A syrup, a syrup, my Kingdom for a syrup !” ……. “Romeo…Romeo..what the f**k is that on your bonce !”

Now Silent Stan was determined to amass a fortune so he could find a cure for his slapheadness. It all ended in a tragic tale of jealousy and psychosis.
Kroenke had found a scientist who had made the worlds first hybrid symbiotic beaver syrup  (Castor Canadensis syrupacus)  It was like love at first site with a puppy, but it all ended badly once Stan married and the symbiotic beaver became jealous and one night it came to a head ( nice pun ! ) it slipped quietly off of Stans head and tried to suffocate Mrs Kroenke. The psychotic syrup was found guilty of attempted murder and sentenced to life at a State Mental Asylum.
Since then, Stan has only worn Syrups made from the worlds greatest toupee specialist….Terry of Bounds Green !.
I will now show a video of a song which I have had the words re-written by Rolf Harris`s less dodgy brother Rough Harris, by the way, I think the writing was on the wall for all to see regarding Rolf…I mean with songs like…. ” Tie me kangaroo down sport ” … “Two little boy`s ” and ” Blow on my didgeridoo young Bruce ” !.
So listen bastards, I will show the video and beneath it, there will be the new words to sing along to!

My wife don’t care that I`ve lost all my hair
It`s so shiny. I rub in some spermmmmmmm
The rug looks alive, made from my wife`s muff dive
It`s so natural it looks like a permmmmmmm.

Silent Stans golden
Symbiotic toupee
Silent Stans golden syrup
looks like a Beaver to me

I`ve got more shares, than a head full of hairs
I will keep them, I wont ever sellllllllllll
F**k all the fans, no trophies like St. Louis rams
Suck this Uzzy, you can f**k off to Hellllllll

Silent Stans golden
Best I`ve ever seen
Silent Stans golden syrup
From Terry of Bounds Green

Jabba is cheap, he`ll be killed in his sleep
He is so cold, he hasn`t a hearttttttttt
His cock is so small and glows like Chernobyl
I will sell it at my wife`s Walmarttttttttt

Silent Stans golden
A Beaver in disguise
Silent Stans golden syrup
Slips down over his eyes
Now his eyes cant see
That’s why he cant seeeeeeeeee

Thanks for that Cockie, very enlightening observations on Silent Stan.  

The GunnersoreArse Editorial team disclaimer: The author of the content that can be found here within can assure you, the reader, that any of the opinions expressed are his own and are a result of the maladjusted way in which his highly disorganized and somewhat dysfunctional mind interprets a particular situation and or concept. 

All legal claims and civil actions in relation to this article should be addressed to: The Cockie Monster, Cell 546, Broadmoor High Security Mental Hospital, Berkshire, England.

GunnersoreArse, the Arsenal Sunday supplement. The essential Sunday morning read, to enjoy with your Sunday tea and toast, every Sunday at 9am GMT. That is clear isn’t it……… every Sunday!

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