This Community Shield will be more than just a Friendly….

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog, being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

The Arsenal blog for Gunners who have strayed from the path of righteousness.

I know people say that the Community Shield is just a friendly and nothing should be assumed from the result, but we are talking Chavs here, can you really expect me to accept it as a game that will not have consequences for the rest of the season? Maureen has dominated in the exchanges with Wenger and now is perhaps the time to reverse that trend.

Psychologically, todays game is going to have far-reaching effects. I don’t envisage either manager taking the game lightly, both will field a strong XI and go all out to win. The premiership this coming season is going to be between these two teams so todays result will be an indication as to who finishes top. So not just a friendly.. it’s gonna be war!

On team news Wenger has stated that Ospina was back in training on Tuesday, Alexis will be back this weekend but Welbeck is still unavailable through injury. So for our attack today we have Giroud, Ozil, Oxlade and Walcott available, Akpom however, has gone out on loan. Trying to second guess Arsénes team selection I would go with this:

submit football lineup

Subs: Ospina or Martinez, Monreal, Paul Easter, Oxlade, Wilshere, Chambers, Bellerin.

That’s a strong XI and capable of beating Chelsea on their day. Will today be that day?

It’s now 13 games in which Arséne has failed to beat the ‘mouthy one’ so it’s about time to alter that statistic don’t you think. That’s why this game is definitely not a friendly and why both managers will go all out to win.

Maureen on Sunday’s game: ‘It’s not a friendly, it’s more than that, but it’s less than a Premier League match.’  He has even suggested that he will play Costa, which goes to show how he is viewing the game.

Arsène Wenger also admits that Sunday’s Community Shield against Chelsea “will not be a friendly”.

Wenger hopes his side will maintain their momentum against the champions, but warned against reading too much into the result.

“We have to accept that every game is decided and judged as definite,” he said. “But you know that in real life it is not like that. The tribunal is out there and will draw conclusions from Sunday.”

From my point of view, it will be a strong psychological advantage for the winners. Whether that will translate in to who goes on to win the league is debatable, history tells us that it’s not necessarily the case, however, after beating City in the Community Shield last season we went on to get 4 points from our two League games against them.

So any Gooners out there who think todays game is a friendly and not a ‘must win game’, please think again. There is a lot at stake and it should be treated as a serious game. By thinking it’s a friendly you are doing a disservice to Wenger who I’m sure is taking it very seriously… and you know why, because it’s against Maureen.

So drop your trousers Maureen and bend over, we have the grease ready and are aiming for deep penetration.

_______________________________________oOo_____________________________________

Fantasy Premier League: 

If anyone is interested in a little bit of Fantasy, I’ve set up a Fantasy Premier League, it’s the League of Smegs and the code is: 165030-44791. Just go to the Fantasy Premier League site, log in, choose your team and then go to leagues and choose private league and type in the code. Just for fun amongst friends and I,m sure Cockie and Transplant would have fun choosing their team name. But beware, they have rules about anything offensive.

Right, time for a glass of wine and some spicy chorizo whilst I search a bit of smut.

Language problems could cause Arsenal FA Cup exit.

Four candles? Nah, Fork Handles…… Handles for Forks!

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog. Being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

Why does Wenger have to be so honest? Why does he have to tell the media all his intimate thoughts? Why did he feel a need to tell the press that Paulista Gabriel could be a problem in our defence because he doesn’t understand a word of English?

If he plays in the back four today, surely Middlesborough will target an area where they know communication between our players could be a problem. Koscielny shouts to Gabriel (in his French broken English) “hey Gabby, get over to the left and take their centre forward”, and Gabriel moves backwards putting the whole ‘Boro forward line onside to score their first goal. Monreal shouts in his shaky English accent tinged with Spanish, ” Gabby, cover me, I’m going forward”, and Gabriel moves towards the right back instead and the left side is left uncovered and ‘Boro score their 2nd goal. The big Coq says to Gabriel in his Cockney French accent, “Gabby, stay back I’ll go up for the corner,  cover for me”, but instead Gabriel goes up for the corner as well, leaving the defence lacking in players when ‘Boro storm forward on the counter and score their 3rd goal. And so, Arsenal, the FA Cup holders go out of the cup because one player cannot understand a word of English.

If the FA Cup back line today is Chambers, Koscielny, Gabriel and Monreal, poor old Paulista will have to comprehend English spoken by an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Spaniard. I suppose Nacho could speak spanish to the Brazilian, or do they speak Portuguese in Brazil? And if at some point if the Big Fucking German has to come on and play alongside the Brazilian………Chaos and confusion!

Wenger has said that Gabriel’s poor English could cost his side goals.

“When you don’t speak English and you don’t understand ‘Come out, come back, right, left’, it is a problem for a defender,” Wenger said.

“You need to know the key words. Offside. Referee. Foul.” and he said further, “If you mix ‘going forwards’ with ‘going backwards’, it can cost you.”

Language barriers can be a source of confusion. Take it from me, having lived in another country with a different language for over fifteen years. Some embarrassing and awkward situations can arise, I’ve experienced it. However, could it cause problems in our defence? Furthermore, if the manager thinks it’s a problem and doesn’t put Gabriel in the side, how long will that be for? How long will it take the Brazilian to learn enough English to enable him to play without a communication breakdown?

Middlesborough are not going to be a push over. They are riding high in the Championship and are likely candidates to move into the Premiership next season. Do we really want to introduce a non- English speaking centre back into such an important game? A game that if we win propels us towards the final and retaining the FA Cup.

I wonder at what level he is currently? I assume he can say “yes” and “no”, and probably “Thank You” and “Please”. He may even have got to the serious level of, “I like you” and ” What’s your name?”. I’m sure Coq au Vin has taught him how to say, “Shut the fuck up”. And perhaps Giroud has taught him to roll on the floor with his arm in the air, shouting ” Ref… foul”. However, will he understand something shouted at him in the heat of the moment, in a period of sustained pressure and confusion?

“Paul Easter, get back you fucking idiot” (put in there French, German, Spanish, Chilean or English accent as appropriate) and barely audible with the Emirates crowd making a hell of a noise. He’ll have no chance.

I jest of course, I don’t think it will be problem at all. He’s a professional, he’s played at the highest level and he knows how to play at Centre Back.

What do you think? Should he play despite lacking the fundamentals of the English language? Is it a risk worth taking? Or am I just falando besteira?

OK , le temps pour un verre de vin et certains chorizo ​​épicé, j’espère que vous avez apprécié votre visite … jusqu’à la prochaine fois .

à bientôt

GunnersoreArse, an Arsenal Sunday supplement to out do all Sunday supplements. Struggling for readers and comments but never forgetting it’s obligations to keep Gooners informed and amused. In other words you bastards, I’m fucking trying.

January sales and keeping our hands on the FA Cup.

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog. Being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

Transfer porn month.

Well, back to normal after the festivities, which for me means carry on as normal. I’ve never been one for waiting till a particular moment in a year to celebrate as if there is no tomorrow. Why wait until a birthday or New Years Eve to get bolloxed and out of your fucking head when you have 365 days in the year to do the same. Plain stupidity is how I see it, and is influenced by big business and corporations who think only of profit. A retail shop or supermarket can earn 50% of its annual turn-over during the short Christmas and New Year period. Fucking madness but the world joins in regardless.

Which leads us nicely into the transfer window, one month for managers to rush around like headless chickens, trying to find the new expensive toy which will keep the children (fans) happy. Arsène Wenger is in his normal January position, injuries and a suspension forcing him into the market place where he could be at risk of buying a dummy like Kaelstrom. From the statistics I’ve just looked at we have Welbeck, Flamini, Ramsey, Ozil, Wilshere, Arteta, Bellerin, Gnabry and of course the glass man, Diaby all on the treatment table, having their egos massaged along with their thighs, calves and other muscles or tendons. Add to that list Giroud who is suspended and Podolski, who is injured but also abroad talking with another club, then we can imagine our French manager is already in the queue outside either Harrods or the Poundshop, depending on your viewpoint.

What is on the shelf in the shop then, something tasty and long-lasting or a short-term sweetener to keep the taste buds initially happy but ultimately, leaving you wanting more.

In the press and on the blogs there are the usual suspects being chucked around like the proverbial confetti, Edinson Cavani, William Carvalho and………. Winston Reid…. the list goes on. Will we get a player on short-term loan, or go for the longer stability of the team? Where are the most urgent needs in the team? And do we really need any new players? Wenger has to weigh all these things up before he commits to splashing the cash, which from some sources apparently, we have plenty to splash.

Add into the mix the other big clubs who will be in the queue as well, with their chequebooks open and negotiators on hand ready to beat us to the deal, then the whole process is a nightmare which will last a month, not just for our manager but for us as well, the fans. Oh what joy, all the usual blog shit and guesswork will rear its ugly head in a four week orgy of transfer porn and speculation. Enjoy.

Can we keep our grubby hands on the FA Cup?

Today it starts all over again for the Gunners, FA Cup 3rd round tie against the team we beat in last seasons final. Wenger said this week:

“We want another cup run and we want to, if possible, keep the trophy. We have won it five times in my period in charge, so that means we know the importance that it has,”

He also went on to say:

“What is for sure is that we have room for improvement and we have to manage to do that quickly.”

As we  found out at Wembley in May, Hull City are no push over. They will come to the Emirates with a plan and with the intention of leaving with a result. I’m not as confident as some, the Tigers beat Everton last week quite convincingly, whereby at Southampton we showed our defensive frailties once again. However, goalkeepers will probably be changed for the game against Hull, with Ospina coming in for Chezzers and hopefully, Theo will be ready for a full 90 minutes. But as with the defensive weaknesses last week, our forwards and midfield need to improve from that performance as well. Our shortcomings, excuse the pun, in attack was clearly evident against Southampton and how did we play, high balls into the opponents penalty area, where we had two 5’6″ players up against defenders all over 6′, it was painful to watch. Our passing fell to pieces and for a team that prides itself on its passing game, that is unforgivable. So as Mr Wenger says, “What is for sure is that we have room for improvement and we have to do that quickly.”

Understatement of the year after last weeks match and if those improvements aren’t made this week then I can see our grip on the FA Cup being grappled from our hands rather quickly. Enjoy the match where ever you may be watching, lets hope for a win but prepare for a defeat.

Right, time to continue with my New Year celebrations, still 362 days left, so a glass of wine and some spicy chorizo. Hope you enjoyed your visit…… until the next time.

à bientôt

The GunnersoreArse Sunday supplement, a haven of calm and tranquility and pictures of tits and arse, for those who like it that way. 

 

There’s only one Arsene Wenger……

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog. Being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

What a topsy-turvy week it has been for Arsène. Last weekend, booed by a group of dickheads when he was boarding the train at Stoke, then yesterday, the supporters getting behind him and singing his name. The fickle nature of the football fan, eh! But what I think happened at the Newcastle game was a response to the numpties, they must have hated to hear that song being sung. Here’s Monsieur Wenger talking to the BBC post match:

“Our job is to win football games and when we don’t do it I understand when they’re not happy,” said Wenger.

“We lost, unfortunately, at Stoke and we feel guilty for that,” Wenger added. “But 99.9% it is people with full respect even when they’re not happy.

“I can take the 0.1%. Yes, of course, I’m thankful for the fans singing my name at the end of the match. It’s very nice to get support from the crowd.

“But the most important for me is to win football games and the best way to make our fans happy is to do that.”

Wenger clearly stating there that he thinks the boo boys are just 0.1% of the fan base. Which is probably close, but even with such a minority of shitbags, they are having a divisive effect. But the chanting of Wengers name sent a clear message and I was pleased to hear the verbal support for the manager.

It was a very satisfying win yesterday, Giroud and Santi back to goalscoring ways, the Ox having a great game in central midfield. Welbeck getting close on a couple of occasions and a disallowed goal which seemed legitimate to me and some of his movement off the ball was excellent. A makeshift defence which showed Debuchy as a very competent centre-back. Wenger has stated this week that if the whole team were fit, then there is no need to delve into the January transfer window. However, he balanced that by saying the Koscielny situation may mean he has to get someone in to cover. We can only wait to see what happens.

Two results this week which have gone some way to counter the negativity which arose after the Stoke game. Two games which have also shown how the team are starting to combine together and become the force which has been promised but as yet, not been achieved. Injuries have been our achilles heel but somehow, the manager has been able to juggle things around to keep us ticking over. I foresee a big shift over the next few games, moving up a gear and proving the detractors wrong. Liverpool away next week will be tough but a win at Anfield is not impossible if the boys can avoid the inconsistency shown against Stoke. Then QPR at home and a trip to Upton Park over the Christmas period, all are winnable.

So there we have it, my positive take on the current situation and recent results. All we can do is support the team and manager. And as Wenger states, he will make every effort to win games to keep us happy. What more should we expect?

Right, time for a glass of wine and some cheese, chorizo and baguette. Hope you enjoyed your visit…. till the next time.

à bientôt

GunnersoreArse, everything from football to floosies. The sanctuary for all sane Arsenal fans. Every Sunday morning at 9am GMT. Rated 18+.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Animals versus Angels: Match Report

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog. Being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

What did we expect? It’s always the same at the home of the Orcs, intimidation, rotational fouling and rugby tackles. Ryan Shawcross had already set the scene when the Sun published his comments about “You are Gunner Get it”, so there we are then, we got it. Did the Stoke horror tactics influence the result? I don’t think so, not in the first half anyway, we were very poor, not just in defence but all over the field. In the second half we came back, but some poor referee decisions did influence the match. I’m not normally one to blame the refs, I generally take the stand that they even themselves out. But yesterday, some of the officials decisions were baffling. At this point I’ll just let some photos do the talking…………………

 

Charlie Adam grapples Sanchez to the ground

Former England striker Alan Shearer on MOTD: “If you go to Stoke you are going to have to roll your sleeves up, fight, scrap and battle. Arsenal did not do that. It was a shambles, embarrassing… whatever words you want to use. It was laughable. They’re are 3-0 down, it really was shambolic. Until Arsene improves Arsenal defensively they have no chance of winning the league. Having said that, I still think they will finish in the top four because that is what they do.

Peter Crouch did this on several occasions and went unpunished

Former Manchester United striker Andy Cole on Final Score: “To get 3-0 up at home against any team is good, but to do it against a top team like Arsenal? Stoke harassed them, they got stuck in. It should take more than that to knock a team off their stride at this level, but for some reason Arsenal cannot get over the problems they have at Stoke.”

Shearer and Cole are fucking idiots to think that how Stoke played was just ‘harassment’ or that a team has to, “fight, scrap and battle” against them and that is acceptable. I’m sure that if either Cole or Shearer were fouled and rugby tackled like that they would be the first complaining to the referee.

This next video really makes me fucking angry, is this an attempt to get the ball? Is it even what we class as football? No it isn’t, and how the officials didn’t punish Adam with a red card just beggars belief. If the FA don’t investigate the officials from yesterdays match then our beloved game is in a poor state.

In the end, I actually thoroughly enjoyed the game, but only the second half. It was thrilling and I really started to think that we could come back and win 4-3. But it wasn’t to be. Stoke broke up our play with there rotational fouling and time wasting, Chambers was unfairly punished with two very soft yellows and Crouch, Adam and Shawcross were not punished for a lot worse. Yesterday when the game finished I was on a high, excited by the ‘nearly’ comeback. We actually finished the last 4 or 5 minutes with just Mertesacker as our only defender on the pitch. However, today I am angry, angry at the officials, angry at the Stoke players for their bully tactics and angry at the FA for not doing more to stamp out the type of play we saw from Stoke yesterday.

Right, time for a glass of wine and some spicy chorizo. I need the hair of the dog because I went out after the game and got totally rat arsed. Suffering a bit this morning so apologise for a short post and probably some spelling and grammatical  errors. Until the next time

à bientôt

GunnersoreArse, even when pissed and hungover, the Sunday supplement is still published by the deadline. Every Sunday morming at 9am GMT.

Coal miners, Sheep, Leeks and Rugby.. a trip to the valleys!

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog. Being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

A trip down the M4 today to Swansea. A 4pm kick-off and the last Premier League game of the weekend. Yesterdays results did us no favours and extended the gap to the top two of Chelsea and Southampton, but City slipped up at Loftus Road so a win for us today will take us to within one point of the blue mancs. I think the less said about our midweek capitulation against Anderlecht the better. Let’s just say that hopefully lessons were learned, the team heard Arsène Wengers speach about team work and not individual glory.

Last season we won this fixture 2-1, with I think Ramsey and Gnabry getting the goals. That win maintained our position at the top of the table. However, this season we are playing catch up and already  twelve points behind Chelsea before today’s game.  Swansea have had a good start to their season so far and they will not be a push over. They also have our old friend Flappy between the sticks, who I’m sure will want to have a good game against his old team mates.

We’re never sure how Wenger is going to line up these days, 4-1-4-1 or is it 4-4-2 , or even 4-3-3? But picking the team from a supporters perspective is getting easier with the injuries increasing at an alarming rate, this weekend it’s the turn of Arteta to be on the treatment table. On the bright side however, we could see Theo making a start today although Wenger has said he will be eased back in gradually, so he may be on the bench. All I can predict is how I would like to see the team line up today, who Wenger chooses could be totally different.

 

submit football lineup

Bench: Martinez, Rosicky, Monreal, Cazorla, Oxlade, Podolski, Sanogo.

Campbell, poor, poor Joel Campbell, will no doubt be excluded again today and many are wondering where he fits into the current team, if at all. There is speculation he will be either loaned or sold this January. A real shame because as far as I can see he hasn’t been given a fair chance to establish himself. But what do we know, there could be many reasons as to why he’s not been given a chance. Perhaps he doesn’t train well, perhaps he’s lazy or too fat and unfit. What happens behind closed doors we can only guess.

Today could see us going with the dreaded Wilshere, Flamini, Ramsey core of midfield. Cazorla has had some stinkers recently so I for one hope he is benched today. What the problem is with the dreaded threesome I’m not sure, but all crowding into the middle of the park seems to be a common complaint. But today we’ll need some solidity at the back so hopefully Wenger will play Chambers next to the BFG and Bellerin on the right, with Flamini in the middle of the midfield threesome. Wilfred Bony has scored in each of his last four games so expect him to be a handful today. The other danger will be Sigurdsson, who has had a tremendous start to his season after doing nothing with the Spuds last season.

Three points today would be great and I don’t envisage anything less. Sanchez is currently on fine form, scoring five in his last three games. If Walcott plays today then I would expect some pacy counter attacking football. All we can do at the moment is hang on to the coat-tails of Chelsea and Southampton and wait for them to slip in the future. But to catch them, we firstly and foremost need to win our games.

Welsh rarebit, the culinary heights of Welsh cuisine.

Right, time for a glass of wine and some spicy chorizo…… hope you enjoyed your visit. Until the next time.

à bientôt

GunnersoreArse, Sundays would never be the same without it. Support your Arsenal Sunday supplement by encouraging more readers and bloggers to read the bloody thing. Or I’ll send the boys round.

The Gunners: Now Unbeaten in 23 home games…………..

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog. Being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

I watched yesterdays game on a stream with a Spanish commentator and I noticed two things. Firstly there was none of the sarcasm and anti-Arsenal sentiment which we get with British pundits on the TV. Secondly, whenever our supporters started to sing, the commentator sang along with them…. Arsenal…. Arsenal…. Arsenal. Brilliant. He was a breath of fresh air. ha ha ha!

The last time we lost at home was against Aston Villa in the first game of last season, not as good as the invincibles but impressive none the less. Most of us have had a moan about the recent lack of cohesion within the team, the lack of effort from some of the players and our inability to put a game to bed. Our bad defending has also come under criticism. Before yesterday the boys have only just scrapped a win, mainly through a determination which we don’t often see them display.  But yesterday, things seemed to come together. Our passing play was superb, there seemed to be more energy and determination, more movement off the ball and less short passes in midfield which often allows teams to get nine defenders back to their penalty area.

The Alexis effect! This boys energy, determination and movement around the field has been phenomenal. Is it now rubbing off onto his team-mates? Most would observe that it has and we saw the result yesterday. The other week I was suggesting the Chilean was starting to get frustrated with the team for not giving 100%, often manifesting in his body language and facial expressions. Who knows if that was the case, but it was my observation. However, yesterday there was no such frustration and the team played well together, with some brilliant passing and they kept their shape. I read yesterday that our pass completion rate against Burnley was something like 85%.  I’m not a great believer in relying on stats because they can be deceiving,  and often in our case, the passes have been short balls sideways and /or backwards. Yesterday however, many of the passes were long and going forward. This is what I observed so on  this occasion I will use the 85% as an indication of improvement.

We could have won this game by five or six goals, credit needs to be given to Heaton for some fantastic saves. Even Szczesny applauded his counterpart in the Burnley goal. Nice one Chezzers, top man.

I’m not going to single out a player for individual praise because I think overall it was a good team effort. But I was pleased to see Theo back on the pitch and to see the Ox put in a good shift. Has yesterdays game started a new phase? Will we now go on to start winning games instead of battling for a draw? Will opponents now view us with some trepidation? To all three questions I would say a resounding yes, but we will have to wait and see. Swansea away next week and then Man Utd at home. Both will be tougher than Burnley. But before that, we have Anderlecht to deal with in mid-week.

Just a small note on our forgotten German, Podolski. He came on as a sub the other week and got the winning goal in a match that looked like ending with a draw. Yesterday he came on in the 80th minute and had an immediate effect and could have scored with two thunderous shots, one which nearly destroyed the goal post and the other one could have seriously maimed a Burnley player. If he was given more game time, would he get more goals? Or is Wenger just biding his time with the German as a fill in till he can be sold?

Right, time for a glass of wine and some spicy chorizo…. well actually I haven’t got any chorizo today so it will be Goats cheese. Hope you enjoyed your visit……….. till the next time.

à bientôt

GunnersoreArse, the Arsenal Sunday blog which tries to steer clear of any technical football bollox and poncy match reports. All complaints about my lack of footballing insight should be sent to Terry Mancinis Hair Transplant and the Cockie monster. I’ll let those bastards deal with it.