The Sore Arse Soapbox

Carl Jenkinson gets returned….. crocked

I’ve read in the news that young Carl has been injured and will be out for the rest of the season. Apparently he has been returned to us for his rehabilitation and joins the already crowded treatment room at London Colney.

So he’s had half a season with the Hammers, he’s scored a couple of goals, got a few yellow cards and one red and I think he conceded a couple of penalties and got one own goal. He’s played 1228 minutes in total in the Premier League and has been a useful player for West Ham helping them to maintain a position just out of the CL places.

With Debuchy probably going before the end of January Jenkinson was always an option to recall to act as cover at RB, but now he’s not available for the rest of the season. What happens, do the Arsenal get compensation? Do West Ham contribute to rehabilitation costs?

No matter what the financial implications, we end up with a squad player out injured and if Debuchy goes we will be without adequate cover for Bellerin, so I hope Wenger gets someone in before the transfer window closes on Monday. I would be surprised if the French FB doesn’t go, it’s mean mentioned several times that he wants 1st team football and he isn’t getting it at Arsenal.

I’m not sure why, but this situation with Carl has really annoyed me, he would have been adequate cover for RB so the urgency to find a replacement for Debuchy wouldn’t have been an issue, but West Ham have benefitted and we then get him back injured. Now we have to find a suitable replacement if the Frenchman leaves.

It highlights the inadequacies in our recruitment of new players, it’s happened this season with Welbeck unavailable and having just Giroud, Walcott and Campbell as our front three choices and Sanchez has shown that he is not ‘unbreakable’. Now we’ll be left with just Chambers as our RB cover.

It’s not good enough…… Wenger should be planning in advance, he should have done all this in the summer but now there is probably a panic as the TW comes to an end and we are short of two crucial players.

 

Ranieri to replace Wenger…

 

Would this be a good replacement for our best ever manager in the history of the Arsenal?

When you think about it, Ranieri has taken a mediocre team with just two exceptional players to the top of the Premier League, (just like Wenger) and they are now being deemed possible champions. He’s a likeable bloke, he’s good with the media and he seems to be able to get a fairly average team working well together, just like Wenger does with Arsenal. He also buys the team pizza if they win…. so frugal as well.

He could be the perfect fit for the Gunners, he deploys attacking tactics, doesn’t go berserk with buying overpriced players, seems to be level headed and sensible, and furthermore, he is a couple of years younger than Wenger and would maybe like the stability offered by a top PL team, although if you think about it, at the moment he manages a top PL team!

Just some thoughts on who would be a possible successor to the great Arsène Wenger.

What do other Sore Arses think? Am I going along the right route or am I totally mad?

This Community Shield will be more than just a Friendly….

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog, being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

The Arsenal blog for Gunners who have strayed from the path of righteousness.

I know people say that the Community Shield is just a friendly and nothing should be assumed from the result, but we are talking Chavs here, can you really expect me to accept it as a game that will not have consequences for the rest of the season? Maureen has dominated in the exchanges with Wenger and now is perhaps the time to reverse that trend.

Psychologically, todays game is going to have far-reaching effects. I don’t envisage either manager taking the game lightly, both will field a strong XI and go all out to win. The premiership this coming season is going to be between these two teams so todays result will be an indication as to who finishes top. So not just a friendly.. it’s gonna be war!

On team news Wenger has stated that Ospina was back in training on Tuesday, Alexis will be back this weekend but Welbeck is still unavailable through injury. So for our attack today we have Giroud, Ozil, Oxlade and Walcott available, Akpom however, has gone out on loan. Trying to second guess Arsénes team selection I would go with this:

submit football lineup

Subs: Ospina or Martinez, Monreal, Paul Easter, Oxlade, Wilshere, Chambers, Bellerin.

That’s a strong XI and capable of beating Chelsea on their day. Will today be that day?

It’s now 13 games in which Arséne has failed to beat the ‘mouthy one’ so it’s about time to alter that statistic don’t you think. That’s why this game is definitely not a friendly and why both managers will go all out to win.

Maureen on Sunday’s game: ‘It’s not a friendly, it’s more than that, but it’s less than a Premier League match.’  He has even suggested that he will play Costa, which goes to show how he is viewing the game.

Arsène Wenger also admits that Sunday’s Community Shield against Chelsea “will not be a friendly”.

Wenger hopes his side will maintain their momentum against the champions, but warned against reading too much into the result.

“We have to accept that every game is decided and judged as definite,” he said. “But you know that in real life it is not like that. The tribunal is out there and will draw conclusions from Sunday.”

From my point of view, it will be a strong psychological advantage for the winners. Whether that will translate in to who goes on to win the league is debatable, history tells us that it’s not necessarily the case, however, after beating City in the Community Shield last season we went on to get 4 points from our two League games against them.

So any Gooners out there who think todays game is a friendly and not a ‘must win game’, please think again. There is a lot at stake and it should be treated as a serious game. By thinking it’s a friendly you are doing a disservice to Wenger who I’m sure is taking it very seriously… and you know why, because it’s against Maureen.

So drop your trousers Maureen and bend over, we have the grease ready and are aiming for deep penetration.

_______________________________________oOo_____________________________________

Fantasy Premier League: 

If anyone is interested in a little bit of Fantasy, I’ve set up a Fantasy Premier League, it’s the League of Smegs and the code is: 165030-44791. Just go to the Fantasy Premier League site, log in, choose your team and then go to leagues and choose private league and type in the code. Just for fun amongst friends and I,m sure Cockie and Transplant would have fun choosing their team name. But beware, they have rules about anything offensive.

Right, time for a glass of wine and some spicy chorizo whilst I search a bit of smut.

Language problems could cause Arsenal FA Cup exit.

Four candles? Nah, Fork Handles…… Handles for Forks!

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog. Being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

Why does Wenger have to be so honest? Why does he have to tell the media all his intimate thoughts? Why did he feel a need to tell the press that Paulista Gabriel could be a problem in our defence because he doesn’t understand a word of English?

If he plays in the back four today, surely Middlesborough will target an area where they know communication between our players could be a problem. Koscielny shouts to Gabriel (in his French broken English) “hey Gabby, get over to the left and take their centre forward”, and Gabriel moves backwards putting the whole ‘Boro forward line onside to score their first goal. Monreal shouts in his shaky English accent tinged with Spanish, ” Gabby, cover me, I’m going forward”, and Gabriel moves towards the right back instead and the left side is left uncovered and ‘Boro score their 2nd goal. The big Coq says to Gabriel in his Cockney French accent, “Gabby, stay back I’ll go up for the corner,  cover for me”, but instead Gabriel goes up for the corner as well, leaving the defence lacking in players when ‘Boro storm forward on the counter and score their 3rd goal. And so, Arsenal, the FA Cup holders go out of the cup because one player cannot understand a word of English.

If the FA Cup back line today is Chambers, Koscielny, Gabriel and Monreal, poor old Paulista will have to comprehend English spoken by an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Spaniard. I suppose Nacho could speak spanish to the Brazilian, or do they speak Portuguese in Brazil? And if at some point if the Big Fucking German has to come on and play alongside the Brazilian………Chaos and confusion!

Wenger has said that Gabriel’s poor English could cost his side goals.

“When you don’t speak English and you don’t understand ‘Come out, come back, right, left’, it is a problem for a defender,” Wenger said.

“You need to know the key words. Offside. Referee. Foul.” and he said further, “If you mix ‘going forwards’ with ‘going backwards’, it can cost you.”

Language barriers can be a source of confusion. Take it from me, having lived in another country with a different language for over fifteen years. Some embarrassing and awkward situations can arise, I’ve experienced it. However, could it cause problems in our defence? Furthermore, if the manager thinks it’s a problem and doesn’t put Gabriel in the side, how long will that be for? How long will it take the Brazilian to learn enough English to enable him to play without a communication breakdown?

Middlesborough are not going to be a push over. They are riding high in the Championship and are likely candidates to move into the Premiership next season. Do we really want to introduce a non- English speaking centre back into such an important game? A game that if we win propels us towards the final and retaining the FA Cup.

I wonder at what level he is currently? I assume he can say “yes” and “no”, and probably “Thank You” and “Please”. He may even have got to the serious level of, “I like you” and ” What’s your name?”. I’m sure Coq au Vin has taught him how to say, “Shut the fuck up”. And perhaps Giroud has taught him to roll on the floor with his arm in the air, shouting ” Ref… foul”. However, will he understand something shouted at him in the heat of the moment, in a period of sustained pressure and confusion?

“Paul Easter, get back you fucking idiot” (put in there French, German, Spanish, Chilean or English accent as appropriate) and barely audible with the Emirates crowd making a hell of a noise. He’ll have no chance.

I jest of course, I don’t think it will be problem at all. He’s a professional, he’s played at the highest level and he knows how to play at Centre Back.

What do you think? Should he play despite lacking the fundamentals of the English language? Is it a risk worth taking? Or am I just falando besteira?

OK , le temps pour un verre de vin et certains chorizo ​​épicé, j’espère que vous avez apprécié votre visite … jusqu’à la prochaine fois .

à bientôt

GunnersoreArse, an Arsenal Sunday supplement to out do all Sunday supplements. Struggling for readers and comments but never forgetting it’s obligations to keep Gooners informed and amused. In other words you bastards, I’m fucking trying.

There’s only one Arsene Wenger……

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog. Being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

What a topsy-turvy week it has been for Arsène. Last weekend, booed by a group of dickheads when he was boarding the train at Stoke, then yesterday, the supporters getting behind him and singing his name. The fickle nature of the football fan, eh! But what I think happened at the Newcastle game was a response to the numpties, they must have hated to hear that song being sung. Here’s Monsieur Wenger talking to the BBC post match:

“Our job is to win football games and when we don’t do it I understand when they’re not happy,” said Wenger.

“We lost, unfortunately, at Stoke and we feel guilty for that,” Wenger added. “But 99.9% it is people with full respect even when they’re not happy.

“I can take the 0.1%. Yes, of course, I’m thankful for the fans singing my name at the end of the match. It’s very nice to get support from the crowd.

“But the most important for me is to win football games and the best way to make our fans happy is to do that.”

Wenger clearly stating there that he thinks the boo boys are just 0.1% of the fan base. Which is probably close, but even with such a minority of shitbags, they are having a divisive effect. But the chanting of Wengers name sent a clear message and I was pleased to hear the verbal support for the manager.

It was a very satisfying win yesterday, Giroud and Santi back to goalscoring ways, the Ox having a great game in central midfield. Welbeck getting close on a couple of occasions and a disallowed goal which seemed legitimate to me and some of his movement off the ball was excellent. A makeshift defence which showed Debuchy as a very competent centre-back. Wenger has stated this week that if the whole team were fit, then there is no need to delve into the January transfer window. However, he balanced that by saying the Koscielny situation may mean he has to get someone in to cover. We can only wait to see what happens.

Two results this week which have gone some way to counter the negativity which arose after the Stoke game. Two games which have also shown how the team are starting to combine together and become the force which has been promised but as yet, not been achieved. Injuries have been our achilles heel but somehow, the manager has been able to juggle things around to keep us ticking over. I foresee a big shift over the next few games, moving up a gear and proving the detractors wrong. Liverpool away next week will be tough but a win at Anfield is not impossible if the boys can avoid the inconsistency shown against Stoke. Then QPR at home and a trip to Upton Park over the Christmas period, all are winnable.

So there we have it, my positive take on the current situation and recent results. All we can do is support the team and manager. And as Wenger states, he will make every effort to win games to keep us happy. What more should we expect?

Right, time for a glass of wine and some cheese, chorizo and baguette. Hope you enjoyed your visit…. till the next time.

à bientôt

GunnersoreArse, everything from football to floosies. The sanctuary for all sane Arsenal fans. Every Sunday morning at 9am GMT. Rated 18+.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

GunnersoreArse Exclusive: Jose Mourinho says “Arsene Wengers zipper ate my Ballon d’Ors!”

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog. Being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

Serious allegations made against Wenger and his ball consuming zipper…..

Jose Mourinho has made allegations against Arsène Wenger and his malfunctioning zipper. In a recent press conference he told reporters that after the match at Stamford Bridge, Wenger approached him in the players tunnel and allowed his zipper to munch on the Chelsea managers Ballon d’Ors. Mr Mourinho said at first he quite enjoyed the experience but then he started to feel some pain [down there] and realised the French zipper was actually eating his prized possessions.

The trouble had started earlier on the pitch when the Arsenal manager had approached the Chelsea technical area, Mr Mourinho pushed the Frenchman away because he says Mr Wenger made a lewd suggestion about his zipper and the Portuguese managers private parts. In retaliation the Arsenal boss pushed Mourinho back.

Talking about Jose Mourinho after the Chelsea boss accused him, Wenger said: “He’s out of order, disconnected with reality and disrespectful. When you give success to stupid people, it makes them more stupid sometimes and not more intelligent.”

It started on the pitch, when push came to shove

Wenger has no control over his zipper….

Mr Wenger has denied any wrong doing, and stated: “My zipper has a mind of its own, I can never control the bloody thing, mon dieu! It even nibbles on my Alsace sausage and choucroute, mange tout, mange tout.” He went on to say that he can’t be blamed for the performance of his zipper. Recent video evidence seems to confirm Mr Wengers defence, on several occasions during matches he has been caught on camera struggling with the zipper and in frustration sometimes kicking water bottles.

Steve Bould, Assistant Arsenal manager, told reporters: “The thing is a f*”king menace, sitting next to the boss in the dugout you take your manhood into your own hands, I protect big willy and the twins at all times when the zipper is close by”.

Steve Bould pictured protecting big willy and the twins whilst Wenger struggles with the zipper

Mourinho is diagnosed as mentally damaged….

Mr Mourinho revealed that one Ballon d’Or had been severely damaged in the attack and needed emergency surgery. A nurse at the hospital who participated in the operation said it had been a delicate job and needed micro surgery due to the tiny size of the patients Ballons. It has been confirmed the patient will probably never be able to father more children. The nurse however, stated that with the small size of them she would have been amazed if it was ever possible even before the injury and surgery. The hospital psychiatrist has offered ongoing support, stating that the mental trauma to the Chelsea manager will be more damaging than the physical injury.

The cockney surgeon who performed the operation told our reporter: “It was unfortunate I couldn’t save one of Mr Mourinhos niagaras and as a consequence, there will be a 95% reduction in Gary Monk production for the Chelsea manager and hence an unlikely chance of him being able to produce further saucepan lids. I have explained the future problems to the patients trouble and strife who told me her old pot and pan normally preferred her aristotle rather than her jack and danny, so it wouldn’t be a big problem for her.”

An inside source at the hospital has told our reporter that whilst hospitalised Mr Mourinho enquired about having his Ballon d’Ors enlarged with silicone. In his most recent press conference, after the game with Crystal Palace, the Chelsea manager tried to play down the rumours of him having small molecules and wrote on a journalists notepad to show to the gathered reporters:

Voir l'image sur Twitter

Mourinho wrote this on a journalists notepad

Ex-girlfriend lost hand in sex struggle with Wengers zipper…..

A GunnersoreArse journalist travelled to Paris and tracked down an ex-girlfriend of Mr Wenger and she confirmed the offending zipper was indeed dangerous. Showing the reporter her metal prosthetic device she recounted the story of when she tried to get her hand on Mr Wengers under carriage and the zipper closed so viciously it severed the limb just below the elbow.

The 55 year-old woman, who described herself as an actress, asked not to be named to avoid embarrassment, but the GunnersoreArse Sunday Supplement can reveal it was Madame Claudine Rochefort, who lives at 69 rue de la République, Paris, 75003. She is unmarried and searching for a husband who likes the feel of cold steel on his pride and joys and she also has several electrical attachments which give immeasurable pleasure. For a small fee, demonstrations can be arranged with Madame Claudine by ringing this number: 00 09 69 69 69. Our GunnersoreArse reporter can confirm the fee is very reasonable for the service offered and on a second visit he paid 10% less with his loyalty card. However, his recent expense claims are currently being investigated by the GunnersoreArse auditors, who, along with our Editor-in-Chief, our Copy Editor, our Features Editor, the Press room boy and his mate Steve, have flown to Paris for the weekend to check out the claims with Madame Claudine.

One of Madame Claudines attachments, our reporter said this one was particularly pleasurable

Arsenal injuries blamed on inappropriate use of zipper by players…..

Further rumours of the dangerous nature of Mr Wengers zipper have recently been coming out of the Arsenal Training Ground. It has been confirmed that several injuries to team members have not been caused when playing football but the result of Arsenal players taking the offending coat and flesh-eating zipper to the toilets for a quicky without the managers knowledge.

Abou Diaby has been the worst offender, with 40+ injuries and now into his sixth year of secretly using the zipper for his own pleasure. But several other players have also been ‘victim’ to the zipper and as a consequence, Arsenal currently have the worst injury record in the Premier League. A spokesperson for the Arsenal Medical Centre said there is an ongoing investigation to find out the reasons for the unprecedented number of injuries. Mr Wenger has been banned from bringing the coat to the Training Centre and the Emirates Stadium. Since the zipper ban several players are now returning to full fitness, including Abou Diaby.

since the zipper ban Diaby is often seen trying to pleasure himself

Other teams are now fearful of Wengers zipper……..

Since the allegations against Wenger and his zipper, teams in the Premier League are now changing their tactics against the Arsenal to avoid any injuries that may arise from coming into contact with the dangloid eating fiend. Teams now park the bus, preferring safety in numbers to protect their long balls when they counter attack, and therefore avoiding the short balls now used by Arsenal players because of their experiences with the zipper.

Teams have changed their tactics against Arsenal since the zipper accusations

Judge will make decision on testicle munching zipper…..

The situation between Mr Wenger and Mr Mourinho is not over. The Chelsea manager has filed charges but a court date has yet to be fixed. The Portuguese manager is also claiming £20 million in damages for the change in his voice which has risen several octaves since the attack and the psychological effect it has had on his sex life.

Mr Wengers defence lawyers have declined to comment but have confirmed that Stan Kroenkes firm of legal advisors will represent the Arsenal manager for an estimated fee of £6m. In a press statement the Arsenal Board of Directors have stated that the KSE lawyers are the best for the job so no other law firm has been contacted but added that Season Ticket prices may have to rise to cover payment to the Arsenal shareholder.

Sir Chips Keswick said: “The £6m fee was proposed by myself and Lord Harris in respect of a wide range of legal services offered by Kroenke Sports Enterprises. They have an extensive experience and it is of utmost importance that we use it to best advantage for Mr Wengers defence. There was no competitive tender – they were available to us, so competitive tender was not needed.”

Mr Vladimir Cluckenchov, a well known lawyer for the Russian mafia and business associate of the Chelsea owner Roman Abramovitch, will be representing Mr Mourinho. It has been rumoured that Mr Abramovitch is interested in purchasing Mr Wengers zipper and cloning it for use in his chain of Pole Dancing Clubs as a cheaper and more efficient alternative to women.

Vladimir Cluckenchov (the fat fucker on the right)  photographed last week at a Moscow club owned by Roman Abramovitch.

Louis van Gaal [Broke]-backs the Portuguese manager in recent statements……..

This week the Dutch manager has supported Jose Mourinho and said: “He’s very special but he is very special to me because we’ve continued our relationship, which in the football world is not always normal. That’s nice.” He continued to say:  “Any suggestion that my Special Portuguese friend has small ballon d’ors is ludicrous, I shared a shower with him on many occasion when we were at Barcelona together and although mine are somewhat larger, I can assure you his are of a good size”. Mourinho responded to the praise by saying: “Don’t make me speak for half an hour about him [van Gaal]. He knows what I feel about him”.

The special relationship between the two managers has fuelled rumours of an ongoing love affair between the two men. This Sunday the two managers will be up against each other again at Old Trafford.

Louis van Gaal pictured talking to the press this week

 

Jose Mourinho and Louis van Gaal

The Dutchman and the Chelsea boss at a Gay Pride march in 2010

Wenger avoids difficult questions about his defence…….

In his most recent interview with BBC’s Jacqui Oatley, when asked about his defence Mr Wenger became very agitated, arrogant and patronising towards the reporter. When pushed on his lack of defence options, the Frenchman retorted: “I don’t know why you would come up with such a question”.

Gary Lineker was very critical of the Arsenal boss after the interview, saying that Mr Wenger should apologise to the female journalist. But the Frenchman defended his response and told reporters: “I watched it when I got home and it didn’t look bad. You ask 100 people, 99 will say it’s not bad and the hundredth will be Gary Lineker.”

Since the interview with the BBC all Arsenal players have been banned by the club from speaking with reporters.

In the meantime, Mr Mourinho has been spotted limping around the Chelsea Training ground shouting in a high-pitched voice, ” I’ve got big Ballon d’Ors and my wife can confirm that, she calls them the special ones”. But an unidentified source close to the family has exclusively told a GunnersoreArse reporter Mrs Mourinho now jokes that after the zipper attack they are:…… “the not so special one and a half.”

Mourinho limps around shouting in a high-pitched voice, “My balls are this big!”

The Chelsea boss telling Arsenal supporters that he still has two

Right, time for a glass of wine and some spicy chorizo…….. hope you enjoyed your visit. Until the next time.

à bientôt

In other news: Unemployment: Massive blow-Jobs on the decline in France- the statistics revealed on Page 2 by our correspondent in Provence.

On our Sports back page: Under-performing Gunners manage a 2-0 win at Sunderland despite injury problems.

GunnersoreArse, the Arsenal Sunday supplement bringing you all the football exclusives. Published every Sunday morning at 9am GMT. Only Madame Claudine can give you more satisfaction on a Sunday morning. Just phone for an appointment: 00 09 69 69 69. Calls charged at £0.69 per second plus the normal cost of your telephone provider.

Wenger must go………… it’s inevitable.

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog. Being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

A slightly provocative title I know, but I don’t mean it like that. What I mean is that it is inevitable that he will eventually leave.  The greatest and most successful manager in the history of the Arsenal. Arsène Wenger will undoubtably be given this accolade but in my experience, people are not judged by all the good things they have done in the past, they are judged by their very last actions.

Are the management team at Arsenal already looking for a replacement? Is there someone already in the pipeline? Will Wenger make this his last 3 years at the helm? or will he renew his contract in 2017? Lots of ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’. There have been many bloggers and pundits examining the future management of our club, the belief being that this is probably Wengers last three seasons at the club. But who really knows, the board must be dreading the day when he finally tells them that he won’t be continuing. Will Wenger have a say in who replaces him? probably. Will Wenger stay on to oversee the transition? probably. There is the high likelihood that he may continue after the three-year contract has finished, perhaps on a rolling one year contract until a suitable replacement has been found. But in the meantime, lets examine some of the options.

I’ve based this list on what I’ve read on other blogs and preferences of other bloggers:

Jürgan Klopp: He seems to be the widely held favourite. His achievements in the game have been good at a very high level, at Borussia Dortmond he has won the DFB Supercup and back to back Bundersliga titles in 2010/11 and 2011/12 and at the same time in 2012 winning the domestic double. He got the team to the Champions league final in 2013, losing to Bayern. So he comes with a good pedigree.

Diego Simeone: Another favourite with the fans. Known for working within a strict budget and still finding success, very similar to Wenger. Since his time at Atlético Madrid he has won the UEFA Europa league in his first season, beat Chelsea in the final of the UEFA Super Cup in 2012 and the Copa del Rey in 2013. Atlético won La Liga in 2013/14 and went unbeaten in the Champions League till they lost to Real Madrid in the final in 2014, beating Mourinhos Chelsea on the way in the semi-final. They also won the Supercopa de Espana in 2014. Has achieved good things on a strict budget and without going mad with club funds in the transfer market.

Rudi Garcia: Considered to be one of the best current French coaches. Advocate of attacking football similar to Wenger. When at Lille completed the league and cup double in the 2010/11 season. Since his move to Roma in 2013, although having not yet won a trophy, but got them to second place in Serie A behind Juventus in the 2013/14 season.

Carlo Ancelotti: It’s easier just to make a list of Ancelottis achievements as a manager. It’s impressive and he’s still only 55 years old.

Juventus
Milan
Chelsea
Paris Saint-Germain
Real Madrid

Jose Mourinho: Ha ha, I’m only pulling your plonker. I doubt very much that the Arsenal board would ever consider Maureen and our supporters would be up in arms. But I reckon if he was asked, knowing how much he dislikes Wenger, he would do it. To try to prove that he could do a better job than the Frenchman.

Those are four top managers that are bandied around the bloggoshere as potential replacements for Arsène, there are others, like Roberto Martinez and possibly Juup Heynckes. And I’m sure the board are keeping a keen eye on Ronald Koeman at Southampton.

But will the Arsenal board break with the tradition of employing an unknown, unproven candidate. You just have to look at the four most successful managers of the club to see the pattern, Herbert Chapman, Bertie Mee, George Graham and Arsène Wenger. Before coming to the Arsenal Chapman had won two English league titles and a League Cup with Huddersfield Town and Wenger had won a French Championship and the Coupe de France with Monaco and in Japan had won the Emperor’s Cup and the Japanese Super Cup. So from the four managers who have brought the most success to Arsenal, between them only had seven trophies in total before managing Arsenal.

Personally I think the club will go for a young manager with potential but not necessarily experience. I’d like to see perhaps Patrick Viera teaming up with Dennis Bergkamp, possibly with Wenger staying on to offer guidance. Or perhaps Steve Bould is being groomed for the top job.

What Wenger has to do over the next three years is to make sure the club is in good health player wise. This will mean replacing some of the older players, Mertesacker, Arteta, Flamini and Koscielny. I doubt Arsène would want to do a Ferguson and leave the team in a bad way for his successor. Furthermore, he needs to make sure the current core of our younger players don’t get poached by some of the bigger clubs in Europe. Ramsey, Wilshere, Oxlade, Walcott will increasingly become targets. What can be sure is the board will be guided by Wenger in their choice of successor.

Wenger has a minimum of two years to guide the club towards a successful transition and hopefully, during that period to bring further silverware to the Emirates. He faces quite a large task.

Who would be your preferred replacement?

Right, time for a glass of wine and some spicy chorizo………. hope you enjoyed your visit. Until the next time.

à bientôt

GunnersoreArse, the glossy Sunday supplement to read with your morning coffee and toast. Still looking for more subscribers and readers but not giving up yet. Every Sunday at 9am GMT.

 

Sanchez, Welbeck And Theo

Welcome to the Gunnersoresrse blog. Being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

Instead of attempting to write a match preview for the game at Stamford Bridge I’ve decided to look at the exciting prospect of Theos return. The Chelsea game is beyond my capabilities because I think last years result would make me too negative about this afternoons game.

Special Weapons and Tactics………. our new forward line. I’m looking slightly into the future at the moment, when Theo will hopefully be back in the team after the International break. Whether he gets straight back into the team is another question but if he does we have a pacy formidable forward line. When it is deemed that he is fit to play it may take some time for him to get fully match fit but the possibility of him playing up front alongside Welbeck and Sanchez is mouth-watering.

The Ox has been playing well and as a bonus, has started to form a good understanding with Chambers on the right wing. If the relationship between the two gets better then both Theo and Debuchy could have problems getting back into the starting XI. However, many are excitedly anticipating the return of Walcott. The extra pace he’ll bring and the goal scoring potential which was starting to improve before his injury is something to look forward to. He was scheduled to return for the game against the Spuds but this has been delayed so I’m not predicting any return date but would hope it will be just after the International break.

So last season Liverpool had SAS and this season we will soon have  S.W.A.T. Just imagine that forward line, Sanchez on the left, Welbeck in the middle and Theo on the right, with Ozil orchestrating things just behind in central midfield. If you don’t start dribbling down your chin at that prospect then you have a serious problem. What we have already seen from Danny boy and Alexis over the last few games is what Wenger described as, “electric”. Add into that mix Ozils contributions and the possibilities are mind-blowing. I don’t think there will be many teams in the Premier League who will be able to contain such pace.

Welbecks trio against Galatasaray will clearly have given his confidence a boost and his recent comments would confirm such an assumption. I know people have been saying that it was against a very poor side but that is denying the fine performance by Danny and how well he took his goals. There is better to come and when Theo rejoins the ranks it will only improve the potential. With Gibbs and Chambers working well along the wings our attacking options are going to be awesome, something we clearly lacked last season. Counter attacking football has not been one of Wengers favourite tactics but I wouldn’t be surprised to see this used more often now that we have the pace up front and two skilled wingbacks adding to the potential. Ozil seems to be enjoying the speed potential of Sanchez and Welbeck as well, so with Theo on the other wing his options for play making and opening up defences will start to come to fruition.

I don’t know about you but I’m really excited about the next few months, todays game is the only fly in the ointment as far as I can see. If we can nick a draw I will be over the moon, if we come away having lost 1-0 I won’t be overly disappointed. But the most important thing is we come away from the game with respect, pride and heads held high. I don’t want to see Maureens smug and gloating face in the post match interviews.

I’m not even sure I will be able to bring myself to watch the match but I probably will…… just in case we have a blinder and win the game. At least I’ll be in a bar where if it all goes tits up I can drown my sorrows quickly.  After today’s match we have a fairly good run of games until Liverpool away in mid December. So bring it on and call S.W.A.T.

Right, time for a glass of wine and some spicy chorizo…… hope you enjoyed your visit. Until the next time. Enjoy the match wherever you are watching it in the world. COYG’s

à bientôt

GunnersoreArse, trying to look on the bright side of being a Gooner. Every Sunday at 9am GMT. Tune in for your weekend dose of sore arse.

Arsene Wenger and his arrogant French genes…. ooh la la!

They think they have the best wines, they think they have the best cuisine, they think they have the best cheeses, they think their women are the most beautiful, they think their country is the most magnificent, they think their language is the most poetic and they think their baguettes are the biggest and best in the world. This is the French attitude and Arsène Wenger is one of them and furthermore, he is from Alsace, so throw in some German stubbornness as well and you have a very arrogant, proud and stubborn man.

Genes are passed on from generation to generation but so are attitudes and the French attitude, passed from generation to generation  is one of arrogance, they can do no wrong and everything they do is right and the best. I’ve lived in ‘La Belle France’ now for over 15 years and spent some of that time married to a French woman. My experience with the French mirrors exactly the Wenger attitude, “I will do it my way and no other and you will do it my way as well”. According to the French everyone else is wrong and they just love it when they can say, “See, I was right all along”. Even though you may argue that they didn’t get it right. Their arrogance ignores everything to the contrary.

This is Arsène Wenger, his team selections, his game tactics, his transfer policy and his everyday attitude and comments. Nothing we or anyone else say can alter his vision as to how the Arsenal should operate and play. I was often frustrated with my ex French wifes arrogance and it is no different with Wenger, he has that same effect on me. She thought that French music was the best in the world and it led to many arguments, and this was where my English arrogance came into play, British music rules the world I’d say, we don’t have much else to be proud of, but music is up there, along with fashion. But my wife would have none of that, oh no, not at all. Fashion she’d shout, “the French invented fashion, and the French sing the most beautiful and poetic music in the world, it’s not my fault that you cannot understand the French lyrics”!  And as the Bard so succinctly said, there in lies the rub.

I would bet that when Wenger gets home from a hard day at the office, he doesn’t turn on the stereo and slip in a Granville Bantock CD or listen to the Rolling Stones, Zeppelin or Coldplay and drink a can of John Smiths whilst waiting for his missus to cook the Cottage pie. I would put money on him listening to Gabriel Fauré or George Brassens whilst his wife cooks a Cordon Bleu French dinner and he drinks Bordeaux wine and after the meal he’ll eat Camembert with Normandy butter and a French baguette, and in the French way he will eat his French cheese before his dessert. And why would he do that, the answer is simple, because he believes the French have it right, only the French produce these things to perfection and better than anywhere else in the world. It is the French way, they know no different, or to be more exact, they don’t believe it can be done any better.

As Lambert Wilson (the character Merovingian in the Matrix ) said:

“Château Haut-Brion 1959, magnificent wine, I love French wine, like I love the French language. I have sampled every language, French is my favourite – fantastic language, especially to curse with. Nom de Dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperies de connards d’enculé de ta mère. It’s like wiping your arse with silk, I love it.”

That is one thing I do agree upon about the French language, it is fantastic to curse with, mon dieu!

The French and the British have a longstanding relationship and history of love and hate, and many Arsenal supporters either love or hate Wenger, but ultimately, he will do things his way. It has to be accepted just like I had to accept the arrogance of my ex Frenchy wife, but actually I didn’t, I left her because it got too much. But will I leave Wenger, of course not. Because he is just part of a long line of managerial appointments and has brought great success to the Arsenal because of his arrogant and stubborn ways. Ultimately, he is just a cog in our long and glorious history and will eventually pass the reins onto someone else. In the meantime, he has another three years to prove that his arrogance  will bring further success to the club. The FA Cup was a start, the new signings are a move in the right direction and his attitude, well, that’s something we have to accept… he’s going to do it his way and no matter what we say, he isn’t going to change. So if you don’t agree with his French arrogance and stubborn attitude, then you can do the same as I did with my adorable but arrogant Frenchy wife, leave.

The French say they have a sense of humour but it is a humour that no one else in the world can understand, because their humour is based solely on their language, jeu de mots, puns and ridicule, language games that are solely for their enjoyment and excludes everyone else. French music is the best in the world for the French because nobody else listens to it so they have to say it’s the best, no one else will. You have to go back to Edith Piaf and Maurice Chevalier for French music listened to by the rest of the world.

Arsène Wenger, you just have to love him for his arrogance and stubbornness, just as I love the French despite moaning about them occasionally. It is their way, they have been raised to think like that and know no different. To be honest, many of the French things they believe are the best in  the world… well actually, they are. So it’s not worth moaning about Wenger and his attitude, you have to blame the French race…….. it’s the way they are, it’s in their genes and in their history. They think they are the best and above everyone else. It will never change and we can’t change them, it’s pointless in even trying because they will just arrogantly argue as to why they are the best.

It’s the past that defines us and the French have a history of arrogance and stubbornness, this is Arsène Wenger. He has a great history with the Gunners and love him or hate him, he has defined the club as we see it today. To prove my theory about French arrogance just take for an example Wenger telling the world that his team would go a season unbeaten, the only thing behind a prediction like that is arrogance. No one else would make a statement like that, but he was right.

William the conqueror invaded England in 1066 and changed our history, Wenger invaded the Arsenal in 1996 and changed our history… we will know in three years time when history tells us whether his arrogance and stubbornness has made him the greatest manager in our history. In the meantime we’ll have to live with the frustration of him doing things his way, and only his way, despite sometimes being in the wrong. His arrogance will continue with his sometimes strange team selections and tactics, either until he gets it right or until it all goes wrong. It’s the French way! As Edith Piaf sang, ” Non, Je ne regrette rien”.

 

Oh Danny Boy…… the pipes, the pipes are calling!

Welcome to the GunnersoreArse blog. Being blogged 918.74 kilometers (in a straight line) from the Emirates Stadium.

Being realistic, the possibility of buying a Falcao or Cavani was always going to be out of the question. But we all fantasised, didn’t we, come on, admit it? But there was no way Wenger would have paid the wages being demanded. He probably pulled out from trying to get Remy as well once Chelsea became involved and offered a wage which pushed the Arsenal out of the deal. Our wage structure is always going to preclude top players coming from teams such as Monaco, PSG and the like and being unable to compete with the wages offered by Man Utd, Chelsea and City. But Welbeck is a wise buy at £16m and United may well come to regret the sale. Whether Danny was a panic buy is open to question, on the basis that Giroud was injured late in the TW then perhaps he was, but who really cares! The interesting question with acquiring him, is will he displace Sanogo? I think he will, Danny boy has Premier League experience and goal scoring credentials. What I would like to see now is Campbell being played alongside Welbeck and with Theo just a few weeks away from returning we have a very exciting prospect of pacy football. Danny isn’t a Giroud, he has more pace and will be trying to get behind defences and waiting for through balls from Ozil and Ramsey and not necessarily laying the ball off to midfielders.

Will he be played in our next game against City, I don’t see why not. He has PL experience and he will probably slip quite easily into our way of playing. He’s a natural CF, unlike Sanchez. I imagine him adapting to our style similar to the way Chambers has seamlessly slipped into the team. An exciting prospect will be to see him up front with Campbell, when and if Wenger finally gives Joel a chance.

4-1-3-2 A truly pacy forward line with two CF’s.

 submit football lineup

Below is a possibility and could be the most exciting and attacking formation possible. Sanchez  and Walcott on the wings and Wilshere, Ozil and Ramsey in midfield supplying the  through balls. 4-3-3 isn’t a formation often played by Wenger but with Welbeck it could  be a viable option and can easily be changed to a 4-1-4-1 if needed by substituting Jack or Rambo for Arteta, Flamini or Chambers to drop into the DM role. Ozil being played on the wing recently hasn’t worked, putting him in the centre just behind the forwards would use his potential to the full.

4-3-3 When it’s really necessary to attack opponents

submit football lineup

When defence is the priority, a 4-2-3-1 would be a viable option, with either Arteta and Chambers or Wilshere and Flamini just in front of the defence. The problem I see with using Chambers in this role is that he is the back up CB for Mert and Kos, so Wenger may be prudent and keep him on the bench, just in case.

 4-2-3-1 When defence is the priority

submit football lineup

What’s interesting in these team selections is the ages of the players:

Szcezney: 24 Gibbs: 24 Chambers: 19 Wilshere: 22 Oxlade: 21 Ramsey: 23 Welbeck: 23 Ozil: 25 Walcott: 25 Sanchez: 25 Campbell: 22 Sanogo: 21 Koscielny: 28 Debuchy:29 Mertesacker: 29  Giroud: 27. A fairly young team being built for the future. With some older and wiser heads in Arteta, Flamini, Cazorla and Podolski.

As can be seen from these formations, our options are extremely flexible. Our only weakness at the moment is lack of cover at centre-back, but even then, we have Chambers and Hayden plus Flamini at a push. Hasn’t it also been suggested that Welbeck can play in defence? So flexibility is the name of the game in the current Arsenal team. But I’m not Arsène Wenger, I’m only playing at being a football manager. But since Welbeck has arrived I’ve seen most bloggers playing the same game. Wenger, as always will do what Wenger does, we’ll have to wait and see.

This is what our new Danny boy said about coming to the Emirates:

“I believe that with the manager’s style of play and with the magnificent players in midfield slotting balls through, I can run on to the end of those balls and put them away,” 

“I’d like to bring pace and power to the game. At Arsenal, we’re not short of combination football and I like to join in on that and get in behind defenders and try to get shots on goal.

It’s clear that he has been played out of his preferred position at Manchester United, Wenger will play him centrally up front, hopefully with Theo, Ox or Sanchez on the wings and furthermore, with Ramsey and Ozil just behind him we have an exciting prospect to look forward to, hopefully starting against City next weekend. It seems a bit strange to be bigging up Welbeck on the back of the injury to Giroud, but that’s football. If Welbeck hopefully does well then when Ollie comes back he will have some genuine competition for his place, which won’t be a bad thing.

Right, time for a glass of wine and some spicy chorizo…. hope you enjoyed your visit. Until the next time.

à bientôt

GunnersoreArse,  where tactics and team formations are played with like a new sex toy, you’re not sure how to do it but have fun in finding out. A Sunday supplement to get the juices flowing. Every Sunday morning at 9am GMT.