Arsenal: End of year review

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As we approach the year of our Lord (Arsene) 2016, the Arsenal are top of the league on goal difference, with Leicester, Man City and some scum from N17 right up our arse. So how have we done so far after 19 games?

The season didn’t start on a bright note when we lost at the Emirates to a rejuvinated West Ham, that was hiccup number one. We then had a topsy turvy few games, a very good win at Crystal Palace followed by a disappointing draw at home to Liverpool. Then two good wins, away to Newcastle and at home to Stoke.

Then came the game that is going to really annoy me for the rest of my football supporting life, Chavs away. They weren’t playing well, in fact they were in a mess and it was on everyones minds that this will be the time to beat the Maureen jinx. However, cheating and a biaised ref conspired against us and the three points stayed in the darklands of SW6…. a very disappointing and frustrating day for supporters and players. That was hiccup number two.

We then went on a good run of five games, a very satisfying win at the King Power against the new boys on the block, a lovely win at the Emirates which saw us annihilate Man United within a few minutes, a tough win away to Watford followed in which the scoreline flatters and good wins against Everton and Swansea.

Then came hiccup number three, scumbags XI, we really should have won that game at home, it’s never  nice to lose points to the shadowdwellers and it was extremely galling to watch them and their nasty lttle fans celebrate at the end of the game as if they’d won the fucking league, when all they’d managed was a draw.

Then came the first real shock of the season, we went away to West Brom with a few good results behind us, having scored  17 goals in six games and on a good run. Hiccup number four, 2 – 1 to the Baggies. That was followed by shock number two, we travelled to tractor land, the team took a plane from Luton to Norwich International airport and muddled out a draw, I blame jet lag. Hiccup number five.

Three good results on the trot followed that, home to Sunderland, away to Villa and a superb 2 – 1 win at home to Man City with a strikers goal from Theo and the spirits and mental strength was building with just a poor performing Southampton to play away and the other south coast team at home over the Christmas period. Easy we thought, after the game against City we were all jumping for fucking joy and saying we’ll be top of the league soon.

Hiccup number six, the third shock of our season so far, and a fucking big hiccup it was, and an even bigger fucking shock…. they didn’t turn up at St Marys’, they all stayed at home eating left over turkey and christmas pudding. Well on the day it was a turkey shoot and we were the fucking turkeys. One to forget in a hurry.

The boys managed to retain a smidgen of pride in the next game and got a fairly routine  2 – 0 win against Bournemouth, not a great game but some pure magic from our assist king, Mesut and some solid performances from our reserves Gabriel, Chambers and Gibbo. Also, lets not forget, Cech made history with his clean sheet.

On that last game of 2015 we moved to the top of the league… at fucking last, (Go back to paragraph 7 and read the last line) but it could have been so much easier to reach the pinnicle, six hiccups does not a title make. The way I look at it, West Ham, Chavs, West Brom and Southampton should have been 3 points a piece for us, plus the draws at home to Liverpool and the N17 dimwits and the draw away to Norwich which could have been wins, would have given us an extra 18 points….. EIGHTEEN FUCKING POINTS? Just think about it, ok perhaps we wouldn’t have gone unbeaten for 19 games but still, it puts it all into context. We would be something like 12 – 18 points above our nearest rival.

Instead, we are on level peggings with Leicester and a following pack not far behind. Furthermore, we have some tough away games coming up in the New Year. Stoke are one of our jinx teams and this season they are playing like fucking Barcelona for fucks sake! Liverpool away, Man Utd away ( well this season not such a tough game), S-pervs away, Everton away and Man City away…. plus perhaps a rejuvinated Chavs at home.

This is the season that we could win it… the PL is wide open and if we can play consistantly in the way we did against United, Leicester and City, and for a short period against Watford (they’re the only ones I can remember for the moment) then it can be ours.

Injuries have happened this season as always but they haven’t appeared to affect us badly as in previous years. As we approach January there is lots of talk about buying…. we definately need to strengthen the side, it would be bad management if they didn’t. Wenger has obviously seen that this is the season we can win the title and therefore, he will clearly spend some decent money to re-inforce the team and avert any major disruptions from further injuries or setbacks to our current walking wounded. I fucking hope he does anyway.

So what do you think SoreArses, in the year of our Lord (Arsene) 2016, will we finally, after a long long wait, lift the trophy we dream of?

I sincerely think we will, why shouldn’t we….

 

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It was a Long Boxing Day for Arsenal…

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It was a Long, Long day yesterday for Gooners. First, we had to wait all day for our game at 19:45 and then the 90 odd minutes took a Long time to be over.

Shane Long, hardly played this season for the Saints but totally terrorized our two centre backs. I was embarrased as to how easily Per and Kos were dominated by the Southampton forward. It was only the third game he’d played the full 90 minutes this season.

After such a superb win against City last Monday I had very high hopes that the confidence and team spirit would continue on the South Coast, but we were truly toothless…. what a contrast. How did it happen? What went wrong? and what do they now do about it?

There are some blaming the referee decisions and I think rightly so, Wenger stated after the match:

We lost too many challenges and that explains why we lost the game. But that’s one aspect, so well done to them.

“The second aspect is that on the first three goals we were really unlucky with the decision of the referee. The first goal was offside, the second goal was a foul and the third goal was a goal kick, so if you’re a bit below par and on top of that you have the first three goals against you in the decision-making then it’s even more difficult.”

The main reason is that the Saints dominated mid-field, Wanyama had a superb game, bullying and winning balls…. perhaps he wanted to show Wenger what he can do in the hope that we’ll sign him in January…. on last nights showing I say “Yes please, get him asap”

Blaming the referree and his assistants doesn’t excuse our boys from their responsibilty on the pitch. Could they have been tired from Monday nights exertions against City? Possibly, because Wenger did say the boys were “… a bit below par”.  However, if it had just been one or rwo players who were below par we would still have won the game, no, the whole fucking team were below par, they just didn’t play…. I can’t even pick out one player who had a good game, Monreal perhaps, but that’s clutching at straws.

Southampton, to their credit, were up for it and got their tactics in mid-field spot on…. they dominated and pressed high up, and we had no response. Then Martina and Shane Long happened and it was all over, we capitulated and let them get on with it… the banana skin had done it’s job and we couldn’t get up off the floor.

I’m hoping it’s just a glitch in our push towards the title, at the end of the day we didn’t go top but we stay second, one point above City so no real harm done. We can recover from this setback, the title is still there for the taking and it really is ours to lose. However, a couple more performances like yesterday and we’ll get our usual 4th spot. The worrying thing though, is that the Spuds could end up third. Now that would be a nightmare.

So come on boys, recover from this small setback and get back on track. It would be nice if you can do it against Bournemouth tomorrow.

 

Merry Christmas to all

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A Merry Christmas and a Happy and successful New year to all the Sore Arses and Gooners. It could be a good 2016 for the Arsenal so let’s hope Santa brings us something shiny.

Just to apologise for not posting last week but my Charlie dog (all 102 years of him, in human terms) took a turn for the worse last weekend and had a mild stroke , so on Monday I had to make a decision to have him put to sleep. So it hasn’t been a great week for me, he had been with me for over 14 years.

Anyway, here’s wishing for a Red and White Christmas and Leicester to start dropping a few points and us to continue on a good run.

Blog will be back to normal this coming Sunday after we’ve beaten Southampton on Boxing Day.

 

 

Villa Park the bus…. but Arsenal win!

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Fuck… I’m suffering today. Went to a party last night and the Champagne flowed. I met a gorgeous woman with a mouth made for a blow-job. I tried my best charming way to try and bed her, using my stock chat up lines such as, “I want to put Le Coq into your penalty area and shoot”, but she was having none of it. Next time I meet her I’ll make sure she’s well pissed and she won’t realise anything has happened until it’s all over.

So Arsenal travel to the beautiful city of Birmingham today, with the local accent we all adore, great curry restaurants and Aston Villa. I like Remi Garde and I hope he manages to keep them in the Prem, but today he will hate his mate Wenger because we are going to thrash them. After a well deserved win in Greece midweek the boys should be on a high and full of confidence. We also managed to avoid Spursday night football and playing teams with idiotic names like FC Midtjyland, FK Krasnodar, Liverpool, Man United and Spurs.

So spirits and confidence should be high today, lets hope OG doesn’t get an og and Campbell creams his soup and gets his dummy out again. We are boosted by the return of Walcott and Ramsey looks as if he is on the verge of hitting some good form. Wenger has had his crystal balls out this week and they predict Ramsey scoring a shitload this season! How they know that I’ve got no fucking idea but he’s said it, so he knows best! However, we need others to get on the scoresheet, Ozil, the Ox and Monreal.If we get three points today we go top of the league, tomorrow the surprise package called Leicester entertain the Chavs, if they lose we stay top. However, there is a nasty streak in me and I’d like to see Leicester thrash the Chavs and keep them close to the relegation zone.

Furthermore, I have Vardy and Mahrez in my Fantasy team so I need them to have a good game to increase my points…. the upside would also be seeing the Chavs struggling.

Maureen stated this week that it would be an achievement to get a fourth place spot, well eat humble pie you fucking cunt because Wenger manages that every season. I sincerely hope you get relegated you fucking dick!

Right, from a hungover, sexually frustrated Nortbank soixante-neuf… that’s it. I need a hair of the dog and some spicy chorizo, baguette and some goats cheese for breakfast. Wherever you knobheads are watching the game today, enjoy…. and lets hope we get the three points and top the league… I didn’t mean it about Leicester winning… a draw would do and we stay top on goal average.

 

 

Arsenal…. playing badly but winning!

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Good morning knob-heads. Well I said it last week, the Gunners play amazing football………. sometimes! Yesterday against Sunderland wasn’t one of those amazing football days, in fact, it was one of their worst but they got the result, despite the French poof trying his hardest to give the Black Cats the three points. It seemed quite ironic that he scored an OG…. get it? Guaranteed if he had been in that position in front of the opponents goal, he would have knocked it well wide of the target.

It was good to see Campbell get on the scoresheet but I wasn’t too enamered with his dummy celebration, the way he was searching in his shorts I thought he was gonna get his dick out and wave it around. Imagine, he has probably been carrying the thing in his shorts for every game he’s played just so he could get it out yesterday…. no wonder he’s not been able to score…. it was probably chaffing his cream crackers.

It was a great pass from Moll though…. Mesut threading the ball through the defence with such precision it deserved to be a goal. Then Giroud made amends for his goal against us, Ramsey the supplier for the header, who then rounded off a MOTM performance with the third. A flattering result because Sunderland held out well, and gave Cech a bit of work to do.

So overall, not a great game from us but we bagged the three points and if not for the French hairstyle, it would have been a clean sheet. It puts us second in the League, two points behind high flying Leicester, with Villa away next week and then City at the Emirates before Christmas.

Fuck it… I pressed the ‘publish’ button by mistake.

Anyway, off to Athens in midweek for what is now a must win game. Anything less than a two goal margin and we’ll be playing Spursday night football. On the subject of the Spuds, there was a short period of yesterdays game where I broke out in a cold sweat… they were winning their game and we were drawing…. for a moment we descended into the shadow of N17….. fucking terrible feeling it was, I went all clammy and dizzy, cold sweat, pulpitations, legs went wobbly, I spilled my wine and reached for the razor blades. Please Arsenal, don’t do that to me again.

Ok…. that’s it from me…. wine and chorizo for breakfast. Till next week, after we’ve thrashed the Greeks 5 – 0. COYG’s