Happy Birthday GunnersoreArse

It’s been two years exactly since I published my first GunnersoreArse blog.

This was the article to get it all going….  http://wp.me/p4FeF9-9

And here is the video……………..

 

and thanks everyone for sticking with it.

St Totteringhams Day….. 15/05/2016

Well actually, it was Sunday the 15th May 2016 at exactly 3:39pm (gmt) that St Totteringham’s Day happened, that was when Newcastle went 2-0 up and confined the Spuds to another year in our shadow.

The Chicken on the football ended up running around headless as the N17 bastards choked in the North East and got thrashed 5-1 by a 10 man, relegated Newcastle. Uncontrolled laughter was heard throughout North London N5 as Gooners celebrated their 21st consecutive St Totteringham Day since 1995.

Not as sweet as it would have been to win the PL Title but still a great way to finish the season, and on the very last day too. Only a few weeks ago the Spuds started to gloat, thinking they would possibly win the PL and also finish above us…… oh dear oh dear oh dear fucking dear, how that will now haunt them.

 

This is how it stood four games ago, some of us were panicking and some were even lauding Pochettino and his highly skilled young side as better than us (you know who you are)….. ha ha ha and then this happened on the last day of the season……………

1. Leicester 81
2. Arsenal     71
3. Spuds        70

St Totteringhams Day arrived

I’m still laughing…………………… I sincerely hope you are too!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Battle for North London!

To be the North London conquerers for twenty years running is a mighty achievement. To be the North London conquered for twenty years running is hilarious.

It’s a twenty year period of supreme rule enjoyed by the Arsenal over the Spuds which could come to an end today.

It’s a shame that Newcastle have already been condemned to the Championship, it would have been better if they were playing the Spuds still with a chance of survival. However, they will be playing at home and playing for pride, so maybe, just maybe, they could get one over on the N17 bastards.

We on the other hand are at home to Villa, which should be one of those guaranteed wins we often talk about.

There are some Gooners who are saying there is no great deal to be made from the N17 cunnuts finishing above us and to treat it with indifference, I bet the same fans celebrate St Totts day every season with pride. So why be hypocrites now and think it’s no big deal?

For me there is a lot at stake, I HATE THEM and I want a ST Totts day celebration today.

I had a very vivid dream last night, I was at todays match, I was stood on the sidelines for some reason and I was…………… naked! Giroud got the ball just on the edge of the Villa penalty area and let fly, the ball curved and went into the top right corner, like a fucking rocket. I jumped up and down and the FP came running over to me and as I put my hand out to shake his, he shook my todger instead, which by now was standing erect and to attention. I then turned to face the crowd behind me, showing them my pride and joy, and all of a sudden these A4 pieces of paper were raised by every single supporter and it read……. HA HA HA HA. TIME FOR CHANGE.

Anyway, in my dream we beat Villa 4-1…. but I woke up before hearing the Spud result.

Come on you Fucking Gunners…..

 

 

Mission Accomplished…. TOP FOUR?

If we can say one thing about the Arsenal then it is ‘consistent’. Twenty years of getting a Top Four spot has to count for something……….. hasn’t it?

No other team has achieved it, we’ve managed to get Champions League football, up there with the elite of Europe for the past twenty years. It truly is an achievement… isn’t it?

Even over the last twelve years, with just two FA Cup wins to our name and a fairly mediocre team, they’ve still been able to finish each season in fourth, third or second place, most teams look upon the Arsenal with awe and envy……. don’t they?

Arsenal are now like a married couple who have managed to stay together for twenty years, when you’ve been through several relationships and marriagies during the same period. You envy their ability to stay together and still seem happy. you look on in awe at how consistant they’ve been through the good times and the bad.

However, what you don’t see is what comes with their consistency, and that is boredom. OK, they started off like most couples, it was all new and exciting, and the sex was truly amazing. They never realised that their sex lives could be so good. They tried different positions every night, they both reached amazing orgasms and then they did it again and even better the following day.

Then however, after seven or eight years of having an amazing life together, it became more dependable, more invariable, more……. boring. Now instead of wonderful sex and new heights of sexual achievement, over time it has become comfortable, more predictable, and eventually stagnation has set in.

They still have sex together but it is through habit rather than lust, now they don’t achieve amazing orgasms together and just go through the motions and it is perhaps once a week or even once a month, sometimes even longer. While their friends and relatives head towards angry and contentious separations and divorces, their relationship just rolls along over the years as it weathers the many storms and strains.

In this situation surely it is normal to do something, to react to the predictability and boredom.

Arsenal however, appear to be happy with the situation, they don’t seem to want to regain the excitement and stimulation, they are too scared of making change or going as far as a divorce. The consistency of a top four spot has become their normality.

However, it is all about perception, from the Board, the manager, the players and right down to the fans. There is no objective indicator of boredom, it’s all in the eyes of the participants. For some, consistency is complacency, for others, being consistent is an achievement.

It is your perception of your relationship, rather than the reality, that will determine whether it’s boring. Having a routine, feeling comfortable with each other, and enjoying your similarities don’t seem to be all that important in defining a boring relationship. However, if you believe what you see in romantic comedies, you might think that if you’re not jetting off to grand destinations or dressing up in sexy attire before you have sex, then there’s something wrong with you. Simply enjoying your partner as a person may be the most important and easiest fix for a boring relationship.

What is your Perception? Complacent or Achievement? Should we enjoy the Arsenal just as they are, without the excitement? or should we expect to dress up in sexy attire and have wild, amazing sex and fabulous orgasms on a regular basis?

 

 

 

 

A Pre-Match…. what’s the point?

Today the Arsenal play away to Man City. At the beginning of the season when I saw the fixture list I thought it would be a juicy game, probably the title decider between the two teams. But here we are once again, like fucking swiss clockwork, and it’s a game which will potentially decide FOURTH PLACE.

The only interesting aspect will be if the Spuds lose in their earlier game against Southampton, then if we win, it gets spicy for a late St Totteringhams Day celebration..

Writing a pre match in these circumstances isn’t very enjoyable, a feeling probably shared with the Arsenal players….. what’s the fucking point, the season is done and dusted, Leicester have been crowned the unexpected Champions and that leaves the three or four teams below them battling for CL places.

So I hope you understand how I’m feeling today, the Arsenal have gone through another pointless season and all my early season optimism has evaporated into thin air, disappeared like the Titanic in the North Atalantic.

I just hope that my optimism returns over the coming summer months, a few tasty player acquisitions and then I can once again hope that 2016/17 will be the Arsenal season.

Come on you Fucking Gunners…..

 

 

A Man for Another Season……

Despite what many of us may wish for it seems that Arsene Wenger is going to be our manager for at least one more season.

Matt Law, writing in Monday’s Telegraph, is of the opinion that calls for change from Arsenal supporters during the recent one nil victory over Norwich City have fallen on deaf ears.  In fact as far as Arsene Wenger is concerned Stan Kroenke bears an uncanny resemblance to all three of the wise monkeys rolled into one, hear no evil, see no evil and speak no evil.

Wenger also took comfort from the relatively small scale of the fan’s protest, saying in an interview “From what I had been told, I thought that the whole stadium would be white (with placards)”.  So that’s a polite French raspberry to the protestors.

According to the Telegraph’s scribe, Wenger will not be asked to relinquish any of the power he holds over all matters football during the remainder of his present contract.  Indeed he is already working on the players he wants to sign and let go for next season.  In addition he is also taking an active and decisive role in the revamp of the clubs youth set-up.

In light of the forgoing circumstances, there seems little point, if ever there was a point at all, for demands for change.

In a season where some of the top teams have fallen from grace, even the staunchest of Wenger’s supporters must feel just a smidgeon of disappointment at the teams failure to take the opportunity offered in regard to the Premiership title and the FA Cup.  On the other side of the coin, it looks as though we will again get the Top Four Trophy and with it entry to the Champions League, demonstrating Arsenal’s remarkable consistency.

The summer transfer window will open shortly, we all have our ideas on who should stay and who should go, as well as the type of players we need to sign be they defenders, midfielders or strikers.  we are told that there is money available, there are undoubtedly players available but only the manager will decide who we buy.

No doubt Wenger will surprise us and, maybe, disappoint us in equal measure.  Either way we will have to go along with his decisions and just wait and see.
In conclusion, like it or not our manager for next season will be Arsene Wenger.  Like it or not the team will be chosen by Arsene Wenger.  Like it or not the team will play in the style dictated by Arsene Wenger.  Like it or not success or failure will largely be in the hands of Arsene Wenger.

We like to think that Arsenal Football Club is our football club. Some may not like certain aspects of the ownership of the club, others may not like individuals on the playing and management staffs but these are just temporary appointments.  It is not the personnel we support, it is Arsenal Football Club.

Written by Norfolk Gooner

Fairy tales do happen….

So Leicester pull off a miracle….. and the Spuds are shown up to be what they really are, the Big Bad wolf. Last night against the Chavs they really lost it, nasty little bad losers, scum. It was amazing that the game finished with 22 players still on the pitch.

It was just a shame they gained a point, which could make all the difference to us finishing above them in second place. However, the stress and the pressure could now take it’s toll, they could now lose faith and lose their final two games. There are six points to be won with only three points seperating us and the N17 bastards.

What a tremendous game to watch though, passionate stuff and what the EPL should be all about. It had everything.

I read this morning that Ranieri had a clause written into his contract that he would get a £5m bonus if they won the EPL, I bet they all laughed at the negotiating table when he demanded that.

So now a return to normal, the Foxes have won it and the Arsenal need to get second place.

We’ve supported Leicester, we’ve supported the Chavs, now we need to support Southampton and Newcastle. If it is close between the scum and us on the last day of the season what a fantastic finish it will be…. watching the Arsenal beat Aston Vilaa and keeping an eye on the Newcastle vs Cunts game.

I’m looking forward to it but firstly, we need to beat Man City.

Well done Leicester City.

 

 

St Totts day is still possible…..

Leicester inched a little closer to the title yesterday and in doing so, kept the Red mancs away from fourth place. Southampton did us a massive favour by thrashing the Blue mancs and giving us a chance to finish third. But I want more…..

If the Spuds lose or draw tonight, Leicester will be Champions. So it will leave the Spervs deflated and with nothing to fight for. Next weekend we play City, a possible win or  draw for us, but this depends on Man City beating Real Madrid in midweek. If they lose in Spain then they will be fighting for a CL place in the EPL;

Northbank 69er’s prediction for the last two games is this…..

The N17 cunts lose tonight at Stamford Bridge and draw at home to Southampton next weekend. We draw against Man City. That will leave the Spervs on 70 points, us on 68 and City on 65

The last game of the season we beat Aston Villla and Newcastle beat the Spervs to guarantee their survival in the EPL. City beat Swansea to finish on 68. That would leave the top of the table like this:

Leicester Champions

Arsenal 71

Cunts     70

City         68

We’ll be celebrating St Totterinham day on the last day of the season….. the bastards will be gutted, even in their best season for 54 years they will still be in our shadow.

I’m offering up a few prayers…..

Man United v Leicester City…. the Pre Match

The Foxes can win the EPL title today with a win at Old Trafford and in doing so would be doing a massive favour for the Arsenal. It would keep United off our back for fourth place and it could  knock the stuffing out of the Spuds for their game at Stamford Bridge tomorrow, thus giving us a chance to go second over the next two games.

As for the Arsenal yesterday, one shot on target and one goal….. it was good enough against a side fighting for EPL survival. Sanchez acted very petulantly when he got pulled off, didn’t shake Wengers hand and went straight down the tunnel. Something is brewing, wouldn’t surprise me if he has put in  transfer request.

So today and tomorrow we will be cheering for Leicester City and the Chavs. Our aim now is to make sure the bastards from N17 don’t finish above us.

Short and sweet today… it’s Mayday and big party in the village where I am.